He shook his head. “No, baby, completely trusting me. Believing that I won’t sell you out. That I won’t turn my back if I learn something about you that isn’t one hundred percent fucking good.” He strode past her and grabbed his coat. “You should count on me.” He shouldered into the coat. When he glanced back at Julianna, she was staring at him.
One of those deep, intense stares that could make a man nervous.
“In the beginning…” Julianna’s voice was mild. “When I first went into your office…if I’d told you then that I had killed Jeremy, what would you have done?”
His teeth snapped together. “This isn’t the beginning,” he growled.
“You would have turned me in to the cops, right?” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I knew that. Why do you think I’m the one who went to Faith? Why do you think I didn’t tell you first?”
“Julianna—”
“Because I could see that you were changing. I was changing, too. Wanting things…that I shouldn’t. Part of me did want you to say, ‘Screw it. Guilty or innocent, I still want you.’”
I do.
“But that wouldn’t be right. Because a man like you shouldn’t want a killer.”
She was so wrong. “You’re not a killer.” She was a survivor. In many ways, they were so alike. Did she think he truly didn’t have a darkness inside? Living, breathing, growing?
She just smiled a sad smile.
“You’re not,” he snapped.
She walked past him.
“Uh, Julianna?”
“Fast Shots is waiting, and for the record, I could really use a drink right now.”
Swearing, he hurried after her.
***
Fast Shots was truly a hole in the wall. Dark and musky, the place looked as if it had seen many, many better days. And those days had been long ago.
Even though it was early, there were a few people in the bar. Three men. Two women. “Which one is Hugh?” Julianna asked as she narrowed her eyes. She’d never met Heather’s lover before but…
If I were looking for a guy who was big, like the jerk who attacked me, I’d pick that guy over by the bar. The blond who was downing shots as fast as he could.
“That one,” Lex Jensen said, pointing toward the bar and the blond shot-drinker.
Lex had been waiting outside and when they’d arrived, he’d gone in with them. She knew that Lex was rather heavily involved with Sophie. From what Sophie had said, they were serious. And happy. A rare combination.
“How are we going to play this?” Lex asked. “Are we—shit, man, wait!”
Devlin wasn’t waiting. He was already marching across the bar. Lex rushed after him and so did Julianna. Her hip bumped into a nearby table as she hurried forward.
Devlin grabbed Hugh’s shoulder and spun the guy around. Hugh’s shot glass went flying.
“What. The. Fuck!” Hugh snarled and shot to his feet, fists clenched. “Who the hell are you?”
Her heart slammed into her chest. Hugh was as big as Devlin and definitely as muscled. Maybe even a little more so. There was a whole lot of rage flaring in his eyes. A lot.
Devlin smiled at him. “I’m the guy who wants to kick your ass.”
“Here we go,” Lex muttered, running a hand through his hair. “And Dev thinks I have control issues.”
Her gaze swung between the men. Was Hugh the one who’d attacked her? She didn’t know for sure. He was the right size but…
Hugh slammed his hand into Devlin’s chest. “Get the hell away from me.”
Devlin didn’t move an inch. “You’re Heather Aslo’s lover.”
Hugh’s eyes squinted. “I was, but now the dumb bitch is in jail.” He motioned to the bartender. “Another round.” Then his gaze—a hard green—cut toward Lex and Julianna. His stare lingered for a moment on Julianna. Then he grinned at her. “You’re pretty. Want to go in the back and fuck?”
Her jaw dropped.
His grin stretched. “I’ll give you a ride you won’t—”
Devlin had him against the bar in an instant. He moved in a fast glide and shoved Hugh back hard enough to send more glasses tumbling to the floor. Even as Julianna blinked in shock, Devlin’s fist was up and ready to pound into Hugh’s face.
“No!” Julianna yelled. “Devlin, no!” That violence had erupted so fast. It was dangerous. Deadly.
Scary.
Devlin froze.
Hugh didn’t. Hugh grabbed a bottle of whiskey and swung it toward Devlin.
“Dev!” Julianna cried out.
Dev ducked and the whiskey bottle missed him. Then he punched out. Once, twice, and the whiskey slipped from Hugh’s fingers because the guy was howling and reaching for his now bleeding mouth.
Julianna backed up. Dev was…he was different right then. A heavy aura of rage clung to him.
“You don’t fucking look at her,” Dev snarled. “Do you hear me? You don’t go near her. You don’t touch her.”
She retreated even more.
“Julianna?” Lex touched her shoulder. She flinched away from him. “Julianna, are you all right?”
Hugh was bleeding. Dev had just…pounded the man. Violence. She hated violence now.
And Dev—even his voice was different. So filled with fury and hate and jealousy.
She’d thought Jeremy was good at first. Then he’d changed, too.
Her head began to throb. She pushed away from Lex. She shouldn’t have come. Dev had tried to keep her away, but she’d thought she might recognize Hugh’s voice or his hands or something.
But she hadn’t. Instead, she was just afraid.
Julianna spun and ran for the door. I am so sick of fear. When will it ever end? Why was she letting it control her so much? She shoved open the bar’s door and hurried outside, gulping that cold air desperately as she tried to push through that suffocating fear. She was tired of being afraid. Tired.
“He won’t hurt you.”
The air was cold, and that was good. Her cheeks were burning hot. Julianna glanced over her shoulder and saw that Lex had followed her outside. He was standing a few feet away, studying her carefully. “You should be inside with Devlin,” she told him. “He needs you for backup.”
“Devlin doesn’t really need anyone.”
Doesn’t he?
“He won’t hurt you,” Lex said again.
She glanced toward the street and the buzz of cars. “He just kicked a man’s ass in about two seconds flat. I didn’t…I knew he was strong, but I’d never seen—”
“It’s not like we grew up easy,” Lex said, his voice gentle. “We had to fight for what we wanted. In group homes, the older kids would make our lives hell. In schools, shit, you think it was ever easy being the kids that no one wanted?”
She turned toward him.
“You fought for what you wanted,” he told her once more, giving a grim nod. “But you know what we never, ever did? What not one of us would do?”
She knew that “us” he spoke about was the family they’d created—Lex, Chance, and Devlin.
“We never hurt anyone weaker than us. We never hurt the innocent. The whole reason we started VJS was because we wanted to protect, not destroy.”
The fear was fading. Slowly. “It’s hard for me to trust—”
“I would trust Devlin and Chance with my life.”
She shook her head. He wasn’t getting it. “It’s hard for me to trust myself. I’m the one who married Jeremy. I’m the one he manipulated. If I was wrong about him, how can I know that I won’t be wrong about someone else, too?”
He watched her with his unfathomable green eyes.
“Go back inside,” Julianna urged him. “Devlin needs you.”
He turned to go, but then paused. “Have you seen the way the guy looks at you?”
She didn’t know what he was talking about.
“If Dev needs anyone,” Lex added, “it’s not me.” He glanced back at her and smiled. Oddly, though, his smile wasn??
?t reassuring. It was scary. Dangerous. “I told you that Devlin would never hurt you, and I sure hope I can count on you for the same thing.”
“What? I-I wouldn’t hurt Dev—”
“You just looked at him like he was a monster. You walked away from him. It’s not always fists that hurt.”
Then he was gone. She stood out there, the cold sweeping around her. Deeper now, tighter, that cold clung to her. Julianna wrapped her arms around her stomach, being very careful with her broken wrist. She thought of men and lies.
Secrets.
And desires.
I don’t want to be afraid any longer.
***
Julianna stood outside of Fast Shots, her gaze sweeping the street. She was the perfect target in that moment. No bodyguard was around to run and protect her. No cops were close to shield her.
Perfect.
Only…
She has what I need.
The file hadn’t been at the Smith estate. It hadn’t been there where it damn well should have been hidden. The only person with access to it must have been Julianna.
Jeremy Smith had been a straight-A bastard. He’d deserved a thousand deaths. Did Julianna think she was his first victim? Hardly. The psychopath had just been good at shielding his true nature…from all but those closest to him.
You hurt the ones you love. Wasn’t that a saying? Or a song? Or some shit? But Jeremy Smith hadn’t actually loved anyone. He’d just loved his power. His absolute control.
In the end, he’d had no control. No power.
Julianna had stayed with him for one reason—blackmail. Jeremy had loved using his “security consultant” Ray Holliwell for all of his dirty work. But without the big boss behind him, Ray had crumpled quickly. He’d spilled plenty about where the secrets were being kept.
Only now, Julianna had control of the files. She was the keeper of the secrets.
No, that shit isn’t going to work. I am the one who gets the power now!
It had seemed like such a genius plan before. Julianna would be in prison and Jeremy would be in the ground. But now…things had changed.
Time for you to get in that damn ground, too, Julianna. Go join your husband.