The gun was Ethan’s. Lex took it from him. When Ethan had gone to Lex’s side, that was when Ethan must have slipped him the gun.
She shook her head.
I did my part, buddy. Ethan had said that.
Now do yours.
Lex stared at her. “I love you.”
More cop cars rushed up to the scene. An ambulance was there. And—Dev? Chance Valentine? Yes, they were running toward Lex, too.
But Sophie hadn’t moved from the ground. Lex had just killed in front of her. She knew—with utter certainty—that Lex had known Clark would attack again. He’d waited. He’d planned that moment perfectly.
Clark had attacked right in front of a cop. Faith had seen everything. She would testify—like it would ever come to that—that Lex had fired in self-defense.
But Clark hadn’t been attacking Lex again. He’d been coming for me.
“He always would have come for you,” Ethan said softly as he leaned forward and offered her his hand. “Don’t you see that?”
She saw that Lex had killed for her. She’d never wanted that. She hadn’t wanted him to ever carry that darkness for her.
Dev and Chance were surrounding him now. Talking fast. An EMT was trying to reach out to Lex.
He was just staring at her.
Her lips felt numb as she called, “He’s been shot. Please, get him in the ambulance! Lex needs help.”
But Lex shook his head. “I just…need you.”
No, the man needed stitches. Maybe a blood transfusion. Definitely medical assistance.
“Only you,” Lex said.
“I didn’t want this,” she whispered.
Pain flashed on his face. Even in the darkness, she could see it—those too-bright flashing police lights had let her see it. Then Lex was turning from her. Letting Chance and Dev and the EMT lead him to the ambulance, and she knew that he’d misunderstood her.
Dammit.
“Sophie, you know what he did for you,” Ethan murmured.
The police were swarming the scene.
Her legs felt locked in place. “I never wanted him to do it. I never wanted anyone to kill for me.” Because that was her greatest fear. That someone would be pushed to the edge—for her. She kept her voice whisper soft as she said, “For years, I thought you’d killed for me. Do you know how that cut me up on the inside?” It had terrified her and made her determined not to let anyone else get close. Because she’d been afraid that she twisted people. That she took the good and put a monster in its place.
But Lex isn’t a monster.
He was in the back of the ambulance.
“What did I do,” Sophie asked, “that fucked Clark up so much?” She didn’t even remember meeting him so long ago. Had she?
“You didn’t do a damn thing. That guy always had problems. I knew it the first moment I saw him.”
Drugs. He’d gone to Ethan for drugs.
“Some men think everything should belong to them—everything and everyone. It’s about control and power. That freak was high on his power. Being ADA, he got to control life and death for everyone around him. And you—oh, Soph, I think he wanted to control you most of all.”
No one owns Sophie. Lex had said that.
When she looked back to the right, the ambulance was pulling away.
Chapter Thirteen
“Staying in the hospital for a bit longer probably wouldn’t have been the worst idea in the world,” Dev murmured as he sauntered into Lex’s office with his brows raised. “But if you wanted to play superhero and act like bullets bounce off your chest, fine by me.” He didn’t bother closing the door behind him.
Lex was sitting in his desk. Very carefully sitting at his desk because he had plenty of stitches in his back. “They didn’t bounce off my chest,” he said flatly. “They hit my back. Actually, my shoulder and my left side.” The bullets and blood loss hadn’t been nearly as bad as the concussion he’d gotten when his head had hit that pavement. He’d lost consciousness for a few moments and woken up to absolute terror.
Sophie, in danger. Sophie, touching him…and talking to a demented bastard.
“Thanks so much for clarifying,” Dev said with an eye roll. “Point is, you should be resting. If not in a hospital, then at least at home.”
No way. When he was alone, he thought too much—about Sophie. About how he’d totally fucked things up with her because…I killed a man right in front of her.
But Clark had been running toward her. He’d had that screwdriver up and—
Why even try to kid myself? I took that gun from Ethan because I didn’t think Clark was done, and I had wanted to be ready. If he’d come at Sophie again, I planned to kill him.
And I did.
Now he needed to find a way to fix this mess. He needed Sophie.
“So what are you going to do?” Dev wanted to know. “I heard Detective Chestang cleared you so everything is all tied up, nice and neat. The ADA was the psychotic bad guy. He was the one who took over Finn’s account. Tricky bit of business, that.”
Yes, it had been. Clark had found out about Finn’s account when he prosecuted the guy years before, and he’d taken it over, secretly. Clark had been funneling his own money into that account over the years.
Clark had wanted Finn to appear responsible for Griffin’s murder. Probably just a way to eliminate another man from Sophie’s life. Daniel’s attack on her had definitely set Clark off—severing whatever ties to reality that had held the guy in place.
Or maybe, as Faith had said, Clark really had just always been batshit. Who the hell knew what he’d been doing in his spare time over the years? Maybe there were more skeletons—and murders—still hidden in his closet.
“I heard some folks at the prosecutor’s office are even thinking Ethan Barclay isn’t the devil in disguise any longer. Clark was the one always pushing for a prosecution against him. Now that everyone knows the truth about Clark…” Dev shrugged. “Well, all of his cases are tainted. They’ll have to be reviewed. Talk about a serious nightmare for someone.”
Lex rubbed his aching temples. Since it seemed Dev had just gotten the inside scoop from the prosecutor’s office, he wanted to ask, so badly, about—
“When are you going to see Sophie again?” Dev said, voice casual.
Lex’s hands flattened on the desk in front of him. “You were at the scene. You heard what she said.” Words that had hurt far worse than the bullets.
“Yeah, she said, and I quote, ‘I didn’t want this.’ This, man. This, not you.” Dev huffed out a breath. The door was still open behind him. “She was looking at a blood bath. Seeing the dead body of the guy who’d offed her parents. The woman should’ve been entitled to say anything she wanted right then, and you should have just been grateful she was still alive.”
Lex surged to his feet and ignored the pain that burned through him. “I am grateful,” Lex snapped back. “Do you know how fucking scared I was when I woke up and I could hear Clark talking to her? He was trying to take her away from me. I didn’t have a weapon, and he had a gun. I had to get the gun away from him, I knew it. But I couldn’t have her hurt.” His words were coming faster, harder. Lex couldn’t stop now. “She matters to me. More than anything. So, fuck, yes, when I got her away from that bastard, I hit him. I just kept hitting him.” Through the blood and the crunch of bones. “I hit him even when he wasn’t fighting back. I hit him because I wanted to kill him. I wanted her to be safe.”
Lex’s breath heaved out. Slow down. Apparently, he wasn’t as in control as he’d thought.
“But you stopped…” Dev put his hand up behind him—what was up with that? It looked like he was almost waving to someone out in the hallway. “You stopped then,” Dev said.
“I stopped for Sophie. She touched me, and I just wanted to hold her.” But he’d been scared to touch her with blood on his hands.
“Then why did you kill Clark later?”
Growling, he shot around the desk. “Why the i
nquisition? Why—”
“Because you’re sitting in here, and you’re throwing something really important away instead of running out and making Sophie listen to you. So maybe…” He backed out, retreating from the room as he continued, “Maybe I’m trying to make you fight.”
Lex blinked. Seriously? The guy had just walked out in the middle of the conversation? Dev could be weird sometimes.
But then Dev was back. Only he wasn’t alone. He was pulling Sophie with him. Her eyes were bright with tears.
Had she been outside that door, the whole time? Listening to him rant?
And bare his soul?
Lex stiffened.
“Why did you kill him?” Dev asked once more.
Sophie shook her head. “Stop. Just stop, okay?” It sounded as if she were begging.
Sophie should never have to beg.
Her sigh was broken. “It doesn’t matter why. What matters is that I pushed him that far.” She wasn’t looking at Dev. Instead, she was staring straight at Lex. “And I’m sorry. I never wanted that for you. I never wanted you to kill for—”
He had her in his arms. He had to touch her. Had to kiss her. Had to lift her up against him, and so what if he popped a stitch? Sophie was there. She was hugging him back. She was kissing him back. She was there, with him.
“I’ll just leave you two alone,” Dev said. The door clicked shut.
Lex didn’t let Sophie go. He couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Sorry you had to see me like that.” With her, he would confess all. “I tried to pretend I was someone else with you. But that’s me, sweetheart. When your life was threatened, I reacted.” Primitive. Deadly. “I wanted you to love me, but…”
“Oh, Lex, I do love you.” Her body pressed to his. “I told you that, and I meant it. I love you so much that it scares me.”
He was the one scared—of losing her.
Sophie’s beautiful gaze searched him. “I don’t want you to ever be hurt because of me. I don’t want to push you to the edge.”
I’d go over any edge for you.
Sadness slid over her face. “Dev told you once that I was the wrong kind of woman. And he’s right. I can be—”
“He’s full of shit, and he knows it.”
She blinked up at him.