“What is this?”
I knew how to climb, how to break locks, how to sneak into buildings, but I had never been taught how to throw a knife.
Tray kept his hand steady. He was looking right into my eyes, no hesitation, no judgment, nothing. I flashed back to the last night I had seen Brian, when Tray had looked at me in the same manner. He was there, right in front of me, and he wasn’t going anywhere. I had felt as if I had been punched in the chest that night, and the feeling came back again. In one look, as he stood before me, I felt him under my skin. He forced the black hole to move aside and an alarming emotion bumped my heart into beating faster.
My mouth went dry. I was scared of Tray. He didn’t treat me as anything except his equal. Brian had worshiped me. Jace had taken care of me, but Tray was different. The strength in him was more than I ever imagined. He lifted his hand again. “Take it, Taryn.”
“Why?”
“Because I know you. You’re a fighter and once you’ve mourned Brian enough, you’re going to want to go after Lanser.” He stepped closer. His hand was still lifted. The knife was beckoning to me, but I was distracted as Tray’s body was so close. He had held me every night, but those were nights of comfort. This was different. He changed the dynamic between us. He lifted the tension between us and raised it another notch until I couldn’t ignore how much I wanted him. I swallowed, needing more air. His voice dropped to a whisper, “You won’t win against Jace Lanser. He’s a deadly weapon in himself, but I can teach you how to defend yourself. I can teach
you how to hurt whoever you’re fighting.”
“You want me to go after Jace?”
“No.” His hand closed around the knife, and he pulled it away. “You’ll lose, but if you’re cornered and alone, I want you to have a fighting chance.” His hand lifted again. The knife was uncovered once more. “Take it, Taryn. I’ll teach you how to use it.”
I did. As my hand closed around it, knowing that I would learn how to yield it, I felt powerful. No, I always felt powerful. It was just coming back to me. “How do you know this?”
“My dad taught me. It was one thing he did right by me before he left.” He moved so he was behind me. One hand took my arm and the other splayed out on my hip. My heart was racing, but I tried to push all of that away and listen to him. He lifted my arm and moved my other hip back. He murmured into my ear, “If you’re fighting someone, you won’t have time to grab a weapon. If you’re lucky, you will see them coming, but most times they’ll get the drop on you.”
I frowned. “That’s not helpful.”
He chuckled, his breath caressing over my ear and the side of my face. It warmed me and sent shivers through me at the same time. His hand tightened on my hip. “When you’re fighting for your life and this is all you have, you don’t hesitate.” He jerked my hand out in a straight jab. At the same time, he pushed my hip forward so my whole body went with the motion. “If you fight someone bigger than you, don’t hold back. Don’t stab and keep half your body away. It won’t do anything. You’ll just graze the guy. If you go in, go all in and push all of your weight behind your knife.”
Jace and Brian had been in fights, against each other and against others. The violent world wasn’t new to me, but the idea that it was me and one other person in a back alley had my mind spinning. Jace never taught me these things. Neither had Brian
He stepped back from me and I missed his warmth, but he took my shoulders and turned me around. As he did, his hazel eyes had a grave look in them. He dropped his chin so he was staring right into my eyes. He said, “If you have the opportunity, go for the throat. If it’s you or him and its life and death, you can’t hesitate. If you can, jab the entire knife into the guy. Go in through the side, but if he’s holding you at an angle and you can’t get a good rush at him, slit his throat. Right in front.” He ran his finger across the front of his throat. “Fighting with a knife is about being smart. If you’re given a window, do it. Don’t hesitate. Use your whole body. You might have a couple seconds, if even that. He’s bigger than you. If he’s going against you, he won’t hesitate. You can’t either. It’s you or him, you fight with every last inch in you and when you don’t think you can fight anymore, you search for more inside of you. You need to be a wild animal. Do not hold back. I mean it, Taryn. You can’t hold back. Fear will paralyze you. It’ll be hard enough to fight just through that, but you have to. Okay?”
He waited for me to nod. When I did, he lifted my hand, the one with the knife, and pressed the blade against his neck. He said, “Press it into me.”
“No.”
I tried to pull back, but Tray caught my hand. “You need to feel what it’s like to have a knife to a throat. This is where they’re vulnerable.”
I nodded. His hand fell from mine and I kept the knife there. He stared at me, and I felt his trust in me, but his eyes were blazing. He was fighting for me. “I want to kill Jace.”
“I know you do.”
I had loved him. Now I hated him.
His hands framed both sides of my face. Bending over, he rested his forehead to mine and stared right into me. “I can’t promise you will get the chance. He leads the Panthers. He works for Sal Galverson, and he’s one of the best fighters I have ever heard about.”
“I can hurt him in other ways.” My mind was connecting the dots. He wanted me out of the way. He had connections to my adopted parents. I was his secret. “He didn’t want Galverson to know about me. Why? That makes no sense.”
Tray stepped away. “What are you talking about?”
“He said Brian hated him. He said Brian wasn’t a threat, but I could’ve been. What did he mean by that?”
“In that world, there’s no guarantee. People can turn on you in a flash.”
“Yeah.” I lifted my chin up. “I could get Galverson to turn on Jace.”
“No, no. That’s not a good idea.”
“But what if—”
Tray caught my arms and pulled me back in front of him. “No, Taryn. That world is dangerous. I had my own brush with it, remember? I’ll never see my dad again. You can’t do anything. I’m teaching you this stuff on the off chance that you do find yourself in an alley against someone.”