“Are there real relationships?” My chest grew tight.
He didn’t answer right away and the tension grew with each second that passed until he did. “Yeah. I think so, to people who don’t lie to themselves. Then yes.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that. Fear, hope, happiness, and caution all swirled inside of me as I sat there. For the first time in a long time, I was speechless, and I had no idea why. When his hand slid to my cheek and tipped my mouth to his, I s
topped
thinking about it. As he pressed me down, I enjoyed his touch. It was healing, in a roundabout way, and I really didn’t want to try and explain that to myself. I just enjoyed it.
CHAPTER TWELVE
The next week was strained. Mandy kept with her new group of friends while Jennica held firm with Amber and the guys. The only one who seemed affected was Devon. He kept to himself. I saw him a few times with Samuel and Grant at school. Tray was with them sometimes. He was with me at other times. He had begun to hang out at my locker, drawing more attention to me than I wanted. A few girls tried to start fights with me, but I knew it was because of him. They were jealous. When I walked away, leaving Tray in their presence, I knew they were confused. Watching Mandy and how she pretended that nothing was the matter affected me. I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t like it. It left a sour taste in my mouth so I tried to keep to myself.
“Taryn.” Shelly knocked on my door and stuck her head inside. I took my earbuds out, but didn’t get up from my bed. She smiled. “Honey, Kevin and I are going out. Mandy said to let you know some of your friends are coming over for the night.”
I nodded. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.” I had no intention of hanging out with them.
She frowned. “Are things okay with you and Mandy? You two have seemed off this last week.”
Had things been okay? Mandy rarely talked to me anymore. She kept with her new friends and I remained alone. I shook my head. “Things are fine. Her break-up with Devon is still hurting her, I think.”
“I’m sure that’s it. You’re right.” She waved again. “Okay. We’re off. I’ll bring some ice cream home tonight.”
When she left and shut the door, I let out a sigh. An hour later, there was another knock on my door. Instead of waiting for me, it opened and Tray slipped inside.
My heart paused and a rush of sensations overwhelmed me. He’d been doing this to me for a while, but the feelings had doubled the night of his party, when we talked about real relationships.
I didn’t say anything. Neither did he, and I moved over so he could crawl onto my bed. When he turned so he was facing me, we stared at each other for a moment. As his gaze fell my lips, he murmured, “You’ve been avoiding me all week.”
I could lie. I didn’t. “You scare me.”
He lifted a hand, and his fingers caressed my cheek. As he lifted a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear, a knot loosened inside me. A different feeling was spreading through me, overtaking me, and it wasn’t just lust anymore. That terrified me even more.
“I do?” His hand skimmed back down, pausing at the corner of my lips, and my pulse kicked up a notch. He was going to kiss me, then he pulled back. His hand fell to my chin, softly, and down my neck. He let it slide down my arm, the entire gesture a caress before he tucked his hand around my waist. His thumb slipped inside my shorts and he rubbed back and forth. An ache grew. I wanted to feel him there. I wanted to feel him inside of me.
Fuck it.
I closed my eyes, leaned forward, and found his lips with mine. The feel of them, the slight graze, was like a promise, and I sighed, melting against him. He traced my lips with his tongue, then swept inside. It had been like this the other night. One touch, one taste, and my body was writhing with the need for more. It built, wanting more and more of him until I was panting at the slightest feel of him now. Twisting my leg around his, I pulled him even closer. He rose above me, bracing himself, twisting one of my legs around his, pulling him tighter against me.
Then my phone rang.
I groaned.
“Leave it.” Then he began trailing kisses down the side of my face. As he went to my neck, I arched my back and neck for him. I wanted to feel his hands on my breasts. I wanted to remember the feel of him cupping them, caressing them with his hands.
The phone kept ringing.
I reached for it, but didn’t recognize the number. I tossed it to the floor, and Tray switched our positions. I straddled him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing against him, savoring the feel of his strength underneath me. He was like a drug. The more I got from him, the more I needed.
His hands found my arms and he lifted me up. His eyes were dark amber again, and his voice was thick with lust. “If we don’t stop, I won’t be stopping for the rest of the night.”
I tried to remind myself that everyone was downstairs, even Austin. This this was a bad idea, but I went back to suckling his neck.
Tray groaned. I felt the fight in him as he tensed. His hand fell to my thigh and curved into me, holding me, anchoring me to him. His other hand grabbed the hair at the back of my neck, and lifted my head for his. Our lips met again and the feeling of being drowned came over me once more.
I couldn’t get enough of him.
Then his hold switched on me and I was lifted in the air. He sat up, scooted against my headboard, and pulled me back onto his lap. My legs were on either side of him and we were sitting eye level. My hand lifted to his hair and raked through it. I grabbed a fistful and leaned forward. His hands held firm on me, still on my hip and the back of my neck. It was a possessive hold, but so was mine. My kisses grew more demanding. He answered with a deep groan, tilting my head for better access, pulling my hips forward. I went with him, grinding against him, feeling him between my legs. He was where I wanted him, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted him in there. No clothes. No protection. Him and me.