“Why are you asking that?”
“Because I was in the room with you two. It seemed like more than some nice family thing you think you had going on.” He leaned forward, his tone turned hard.
“It’s none of your business, if there was.” I sighed and shook my head. “I was with Brian. There was nothing going on with Jace, and besides, my relationships with both of them are done. I was given explicit instructions to stay the hell away.”
Tray started laughing. “I didn’t think you were like most girls.”
“Really?” My chest tightened from tension. What the hell did that mean?
“Most girls are dumb. Guys are assholes, but girls tend to romanticize that shit.”
“Aren’t you an asshole?”
“Yeah.” He never looked away. He never wavered. The truth was right there for me to see. “I am and every single girl thinks she’s the exception, that I’m going to change for her, but it never works. No girl will control me. The more I make that known, the more chicks I have coming onto me. You,” he lifted his beer to me again, “I thought you were different. I thought you knew what an asshole was and that an asshole will stay an asshole.”
“I’m an asshole,” I said quietly, and it was the truth. “I’m the one they want to change.”
“But you won’t be changed?”
I shook my head. “Brian tried to make me dependent on him. He wanted one of those weak girls.” Shit, this hurt to admit. “He’ll be better off without me. He can be with someone who needs him more, who makes him feel—”
“Powerful?”
He understood. That knowledge settled deep in me, and I nodded. “Yeah.”
He was still watching me, seeing inside of me. “And Lanser?”
I wasn’t confused anymore. I knew who he meant. “Jace was family because I was with Brian. That was all. He was tied to his brother and his dad because of blood, but if he could live without them, he would.” That meant without me too. I had never accepted that truth, but I had known it. It’d been there, one of those truths I ignored. “He leads the Panthers, and he’s involved with that world. He wants me out.”
“Are you out?”
He wasn’t asking for my benefit. The need for him had been there between us from the beginning, and it had grown until I couldn’t handle it. I knew why he was asking, but instead of answering his question, I said, “This is uncomfortable.”
The air shifted once more. It was the first time this thing between us was being addressed.
His nostrils flared and his eyes darkened. He couldn’t hide his feelings for me either. Then he smirked. “I know.”
I was relieved first and then the floodgates opened. All the desire and sexual tension that had been banked down was let loose. I almost stood from my chair for him, but grasped onto the table to keep myself still. I blinked back tears from the sudden desire. It was powerful and almost blinding.
My voice had grown raw. “I’m tired of dancing around this.”
“So stop.”
“It’s you too.”
He leaned forward, his hands slid closer to me on the table, and I stared at them. I wanted to feel them run over me. I wanted to feel his arms around me. Fuck. I wanted him, all of him.
The need for him was growing stronger and stronger. I was starting not to care about staying in my chair. “I won’t change,” I rasped out.
“Neither will I.”
We were both assholes. That had been established.
The ache was throbbing in me. My chest was moving up and down. I was damn near panting for him. A part of my brain was yelling at me to remain calm. I couldn’t give in. When I did, nothing good could happened. This guy, this self-proclaimed asshole, would hurt me. The writing was on the wall, and if I went to him, I knew what I was signing up for.
I didn’t care.
I cared to taste him. I cared to have him inside of me. My hands started to push up from the chair. I felt my body following, and a part of my brain went away. A primal need had taken over. He stood too and walked towards me. I stopped, waiting for him to round the table, and then he was in front of me. I couldn’t look up. His chest was rising in in sync with mine. I lifted my hand to his chest and felt his heart racing.