Brian was my ex-boyfriend. Jace was not. Even though Jace was like a brother to me, it should’ve been Brian driving me. Starting a new future was a big deal. It was a once in a lifetime kind of thing, and he refused to be a part of it with me.
“He broke up with me last night.”
Jace grimaced. “You and Brian break up every other week.”
“I know, but…” This felt different. This felt final. Maybe it should be, said a voice inside my head, and I frowned. There was nothing more to be said. Jace had his own problems with Brian. Since their dad passed away, the two had a hate/strong dislike type of relationship and couldn’t stand to be in the same room as the other. The animosity was more on Brian’s side. He had worshiped his brother, but then loathed him in high school. I never knew the real reason for the change and Jace wasn’t one to communicate his feelings. I never knew how he really felt about Brian, but there were moments when I saw the wariness in him. If Brian came home, slamming the door behind him, Jace would sigh and leave. A fight was avoided.
“Taryn.”
There was a dead serious tone in his voice. My stomach took a dive at the sound of it. I was going to hear something I didn’t want to.
“You should leave us both behind.”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Yes.” He kept driving, but his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. “I mean it. Brian’s my brother, but he’s an addict. He’s probably always going to be an addict. He’s violent, Taryn.”
“Never with me.”
“That doesn’t matter. He gets into fights. At school. At home. With me. With guys who look at you too long. I love my brother, but I care about you too. It’s better for you if you leave us behind. Don’t visit.”
“Stop.” I wasn’t perfect either.
“Don’t come back. I mean it. When I leave you with them, I don’t want to see you again.” His voice gentled. “You know what I do. I’m not a good guy.”
“You own businesses. You’re in the Panthers.”
/> “I sell drugs.” His tone turned harsh. “I’m aware that it’s fucked up, but that’s what we are. We’re fucked up. Me, Brian. Both of us. You can get away from us. You have to. This is the break that you need. You can have a better life. You know I’m right.”
“Shut up! Brian’s trying to get better, and I’m a thief. Are you forgetting that? I’m not perfect either.” The tension inside me snapped. It imploded inside me, drenching my insides with shame, guilt, anger, pain, longing, and so many other emotions I couldn't name. They were becoming too much. I choked out, “You and Brian are the only people I have left.” A tear slid down my cheek, and I grimaced. I hated crying. It was a waste. I never felt better afterwards.
“You can stop. You don’t have to steal anymore. This family is a good family. Kevin’s a doctor. Shelly’s a stay-at-home mom, and you’ll have a brother and sister. From what I’ve heard, they’re both popular. The girl’s in your grade. This is a new future for you—”
“Fuck you.” I was seething. My hands curled in on themselves, my nails cutting through my own skin. “Shut up. Just…shut up.”
“Brian’s going to come crawling back to you. Don’t take him back. Find a new guy at your school, someone who’s not violent, someone who will go to college, someone whose future is not prison. We both know that’s where Brian is going to end up.”
“Stop it.”
He did. The drive to Rawley continued in silence, and I couldn’t stop the tears. They kept rolling down my face, falling onto the backpack I was hugging to my chest. I hated this. I did. A new future. A new family. Everything he said was true. I knew it was the right thing to do, keep going and never look back, but my god, it was killing me.
They had been family when I had no one. I never knew who my parents were. I had no intention of looking for them. They never mattered to me. Brian and Jace had been the ones that mattered. After getting off the Rawley exit, it wasn’t long until he turned into a ritzy neighborhood. The houses were massive. The front lawns were perfectly groomed. White picket fences. All the shit that I used to make fun of. He turned down the last street, the truck slowed, and he pulled over.
I had never been to their house before, and I drank in the sight of it. It was huge with two large pillars in the front and a gated driveway. The gate was open and lights lit up the sides of the driveway, all the way to the house and attached three-car garage.
I rolled down my window. Nothing. There was no yelling. No one was slamming doors. No music with heavy bass was booming from the neighbors. It was too quiet.
I glanced at Jace. “I’m going to die of boredom.”
He didn’t reply. I didn't think he would.
The front door opened and the Parsons came out. The dad, the mom. A younger boy and a girl my age. They all filtered out to the patio, paused a moment, and then they slowly made their way towards us.
My nerves were stretched thin. My stomach was doing somersaults. “Do I have to take their name? Parson? I already hate that name.”
“No, the social worker said you could keep yours. You’re Taryn Matthews.”
Damn straight. A flare of defiance shot through me, but I shook my head. I couldn’t lie to myself. I was scared. Taryn Matthews was never scared, but my ass cheeks were quaking in my seat right now. “I can’t do this.”