“I’m sure. Josh and I did a test. The day we went to Abby’s.”
He put a hand to his mouth, swiped it over his chin. “You’ve known that long? And you didn’t tell me?”
This was what she was afraid of. She knew how he felt about secrets, about going behind his back, especially since that day at Abby and Tom’s. She silently prayed to find the right words. “I was going to, but you had so much on your plate. And then everything fell apart—you were upset, and Mike’s arrest…”
“The night you came over … you were going to tell me, weren’t you?”
She nodded, the tears back again, and two rolled slowly down her cheeks. “I was worried about you and I wanted to see you, to see if I could help. I thought if you’d had time to cool off, we could just talk about it. And then I could tell you and we could decide what to do.”
“And instead I sent you away. Oh, Jess. I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”
“You’re not angry with me?”
“For keeping this from me? Considering how you found me that night, how could I possibly be upset? I’ve got no one to blame but myself.”
She blinked and looked down, the yellow blanket on his knees blurry through her tears. “I know it’s unexpected, but I want to keep the baby, Rick. You don’t have to decide anything now and whatever role you want to take on is okay. I just know that I’m ready, and I’m not afraid of being a mom. Not now.”
“Whatever role?” Rick pulled his chair closer and put his hands on her knees. “Father,” he said plainly. “Look at me, Jess. Please.”
She looked up.
“I told you earlier that I loved you. Do you think that changes because you’re carrying my child?” He blew out a breath. “God, that’s a huge thing, isn’t it? Life altering.” And yet a smile started curving up the corners of his mouth. “You’re having my baby,” he said again, shaking his head. “It’s a damned miracle, that’s what it is.”
Her throat was so tight with emotion she couldn’t respond. Rick’s smile faded and he reached out, placing a knuckle beneath her chin and lifting. “I guess the big question is whether or not you love me back. If you can forgive me for what I did. If you can trust me to put you first. I’m not perfect, Jess, but I’ll do my best. I’ll do what it takes, and that’s a promise I can keep. Do you love me, Jess? Because I love the hell out of you, with or without a baby.”
She nodded. She couldn’t help it. This was the Rick she remembered, only better. Because he’d been through trials, walked through hell, and come through it a little worse for wear but stronger and with a greater appreciation of the good things in life. He’d lost everything he thought was true and still he was here pledging to be there for her and their child. He was, she realized, the miracle she’d often prayed for and never quite believed existed.
“I do love you, Rick. I think I always have, and I think that’s what’s always scared me so much.”
“Don’t be scared,” he whispered, lifting his hand and cupping her jaw in his palm. “I have a theory. Want to know what it is?”
She waited, on the edge of something so huge she half-believed she must be imagining it.
“We are two wounded souls, you and me. But when we’re together all the bad parts seem to melt away. And so you shouldn’t be scared, because together we bring out the best in each other. We love harder, stand taller, feel stronger. We accept each other but know what else? We accept ourselves. And that’s something I’ve never really had before.”
She put her hand over his. “When I’m with you I almost believe anything is possible.”
“It is. I promise you it is. And if you stumble a time or two, I’ll be there to catch you.”
Jess closed her eyes. This was the hardest part. After having so much taken from her—her independence, her self, it was terrifying to willingly give it away. But then she felt Rick’s hand leave her face and the warmth of it pressed against her stomach and she had no choice. Her heart was no longer her own, and it was time she trusted it.
“And I’ll be there to catch you, too. I promise.”
Before she could say any more, Rick slid off his chair and onto his knees in front of her. He cupped her neck in his hand and she cradled his stubbled face in her hands as she kissed him at last. It was full-on, open-mouthed hunger with the taste of victory as they came together. The blanket dropped to the floor and Jess melted off her chair into his embrace until they were twined together on the floor of her shop, making up for lost time. He took little nips at her neck, molded her breasts in his hands until petting was no longer enough and clothes came off in a tangle of arms and legs and fabric.
Jess ignored the hard surface of the polished floor as she lifted her hips and welcomed him home once more. It was only then that their fevered actions slowed and Rick braced himself up on an elbow, utterly still inside her, his gloriously dark eyes delving into hers.
“I love you, Jess.”
Moisture gathered at the corner of her eyelids. “I love you, too.”
Making love with him had always been amazing but tonight was different. It didn’t matter that they weren’t on a plush mattress with candles and lacy lingerie and atmosphere. It was different because for the first time ever they’d given themselves completely to each other, heart, body, soul. When Jess cried out goose bumps rippled over her skin and Rick called out her name as he found his release.
Jess was sure she couldn’t feel any more complete, but she was wrong. Rick tenderly put her back together, clipping her bra and pulling her sweater back over her head. He reached beneath the collar with both hands and pulled her hair out from beneath the fabric, spreading the curls out over her shoulders as a smile played over his lips.
“What?” she asked, tugging on a boot that had been tossed aside.
“I hope our daughter has your hair. And your eyes.”