“Holy shit!” His eyes widened and his head lifted off his hand. “Really? But that was…”
“A very long time ago, yes.”
“Big dry spell for you.”
She nodded. It definitely had been. “I thought about it a couple of times, but it never got this far. Things always ended before we could get … intimate.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.”
She waggled her eyebrows a little. “I might have been thinking about you a little bit, too.”
He chuckled. “Well.”
“Yes, well.” She smiled softly.
They settled their heads on the pillows again. Rick’s expression changed, his eyebrows pulling together a little. “Jess, do you think we could keep this between us for now? I’m not sure I’m ready for Josh to know I’m sleeping with his little sister.”
Disappointment made her heart heavy. “You want this to be our little secret?” There was an edge to her voice. She wasn’t quite angry, but wasn’t exactly pleased either. “You ashamed of being seen with me?”
“No! Of course not.” He looked shocked that she’d suggest such a thing. “I just … this is all new territory for me. And Jewell Cove is tiny. Whatever this is, or whatever it’s not, we don’t need an audience speculating about our every move.”
She sat up, clutching the blanket to her chest. “So for now, you want us to sneak around.”
“I want us to be private,” he corrected. “That’s why it’s called a private life.”
She’d been feeling so awesome, so amazing since being with him. Like she’d turned a corner. Hopeful. And now Rick was making her feel like they’d done something wrong. She looked away. Despite his problems, she wouldn’t have hidden them away like a dirty secret. The fact that he wanted to stung.
“Hey,” he said quietly, and spread out his arm. “Can’t we just have a little time to figure out if there’s an us before we spring it on the whole town?”
She slid down beside him, resting her head in the warm curve of his shoulder. “I guess,” she murmured, and as the quiet moment drew out, her eyes grew heavy. The heady combo of sex and emotion was leaving her feeling quite drained and he was so cozy to curl up to. “You’re probably right, you know. Everyone will have an opinion.”
“Because they care about you.”
“They care about you, too,” she replied, stifling a yawn. She curved her arm around his ribs.
It felt very right, being held in his arms. She should get up, but if she got up this would be over. And she wasn’t ready for that yet …
He tightened his embrace and kissed her hair, and she gave in to sleep.
* * *
Rick heard Jess’s breathing level out as she drifted off to sleep in his arms. He was still trying to wrap his mind around what had happened this afternoon. Sure, they’d been doing this love/hate dance since early fall and lately it had been much more on the love side. And there’d been the kiss that had knocked him a bit sideways.
Yeah, he’d wanted to see her today. He’d wanted to see her face when she saw what he’d done with her ornaments but mostly he’d just wanted to see her.
But not in a million years had he thought they’d end up making love.
Jess was too guarded, too cautious.
And so was he. Right? Except maybe they weren’t, because they’d actually done quite well as far as he was concerned. Jess was different and always had been. She wasn’t the kind of woman a man could love and walk away from. Even if he knew he should. She deserved better and he knew it. Hell, the whole town and her family knew it, too. Which was exactly why he wanted to keep things on the down-low for now. The moment the world found out about them? Shit would hit the fan. Josh and Tom were his friends, but he knew they’d have plenty to say about it.
The gray afternoon shifted to evening dark and the streetlights on Lilac Lane came on, illuminating the tiny gap between the window blinds and the frame. He closed his eyes and took slow breaths, imprinting the memory of these moments on his brain. Her scent, like summer lilies; how warm and soft she was; her skin delicate and pale against the tumbling waterfall of her hair. She’d been so sweet—sweet and sexy and stunning. All that he could have asked for in a lover.
Jess was a giver. She could talk all she wanted about Rick hiding his light under a bushel but she’d been doing the same thing. Not with her talents, but with her heart. She’d guarded it so carefully.
And the first time she opened up it was with him. He was honored and more than a bit humbled, but it was also scary as hell. It felt like she was asking more of him than he could give. He didn’t want to disappoint her, and yet he suspected he probably would. Didn’t he always?
Being with her was easy and frustrating and fun, and when they were together, he could relax and let the past go. Hopefully that was enough for now. “I won’t let you down,” he whispered quietly in the darkness. He would do the right thing. He’d make it work—if it killed him.