My alarm’s shrill ringing wakes me up. I quickly turn it off and remove myself from the bed without waking Emily. Time for practice. I get dressed and quietly sneak out of the house. All of my gear is in my car. I head to the rink for two hours of practice.
Practice is long and tough, as usual. but every second is welcomed. This is my chance to get away from everything. Practice allows me to sneak away from life and simply enjoy the sound of air rushing pass me, though I think of Emily constantly.
I'm wishing for sleep as I sit in my class. The professor has one of those monotone voices that makes people sleepy as his voice drones on and on. Whoever thought that morning classes were a good idea was dead wrong. I rub my eyes and try to focus. I take notes and wish it was time for my next class.
I haven't decided on a major yet, because my mind is always on hockey. I am going to make it in the NHL. I will. Drake would be so proud to have a brother in the NHL. I was not prepared for how much I would miss my always hyper and excited little brother. He calls every night between work and practice to tell me about his day. I’m pretty sure he calls Emily as well.
Classes pass in a blur as I yearn for sleep. I grab a bite from Hardee’s before going home after practice. I walk through the house with sleepy eyes. Sitting down at the island, I eat before heading to the shower. Savoring the feeling of the water running down my body, the heat and steam from the water unties the knots in my body. The massage that Emily gave me comes to mind as I turn off the water and dry myself. Usually, I wouldn’t bother with pajama pants, but it’s chilly so I slip on a red pair and crawl into bed.
It’s so much easier to fall asleep when Emily is here with me, but she’s working. However, today I am exhausted and with the flick of a switch, I am gone into a deep sleep.
Around midnight, my eyes slowly open and I see Emily lying in front of me. Her back is to me and she’s laying in the fetal position. I was exhausted enough that I didn’t hear her come in. I frown at the thought that I haven’t even spoken with her today as I reach out and pull her to me. She rolls over and mumbles incoherently. I chuckle and kiss her forehead.
“Wake up Sweetness,” I whisper.
“No,” she half moans, half growls.
“Please. I haven’t seen those brown eyes all day. I need my daily dose of Sweetness.”
That earns me a smile. I love being the reason for her smile. It feels as if I just accomplished one of the world's impossible feats and my heart beats faster each time. She sneaks a glance and I cradle her face in my hands. Still speaking in a soft tone, I say, “How was your day?”
“It was okay. Actually, no, it was hard. A woman came in today with the cutest little baby on her hip and ordered something. I couldn’t help but think…” her voice trails off.
I go to speak, but she stops me. She inhales and says, “But the girls and Kyle made me feel better.”
“You were with them today?”
“Yeah. They stopped by the shop and I took my break to eat supper with them. How was your day?”
“Good. I got some much needed sleep. I missed you, though.”
She gives me another smile. Her face turns serious and she bites her bottom lip. “Do you ever feel like you are missing something?”
“What do you mean,” I ask.
“I don’t know. It’s just that sometimes I feel like even though I have you, Drake, and my dad that something is still missing from my life. I can’t figure out what it is, though.”
I don’t feel as if I am missing anything from my life. Between Emily, Drake, and hockey, I had everything I could ever want. I love Emily so much and she brings a lot to our relationship. What more could I ask for?
“No, I don’t. I have you. What could I be missing?”
She bites her lip and burrows her face into the crook of my neck. Her eyes are giving my neck butterfly kisses as they flutter open before shutting again. Emily kisses my neck and whispers that she loves me.
“I love you too, Sweetness.”
Soon, her breaths come in even intervals. I think about the past year and how amazing it is that Emily has come all this way. But, with the loss of the baby, I think she took a small step backwards. Those days of doubt come more often and last a bit longer.
I feel guilty when I realize that I haven’t thought about the baby in days. Emily must think about it every day. I can gaze into her eyes and know that she has. I was sad for our baby, but there is just so much going on that sometimes I don’t think about it. I mentally curse myself for calling my child “it.” All these thoughts swirl in my head so it’s four in the morning before I fall asleep.
I have to wake up at five thirty.
The smell of bacon and eggs drifts up my nose and arouses me awake. Glancing beside me, I see that Emily is missing from our bed. I get up and walk to the kitchen. There my Sweetness is, standing before the stove. Bacon is sizzling in the skillet and Emily’s hips are swinging to a tune she is quietly humming. I walk over and wrap my arms around her waist.
“I wanted to see you before you left,” she answers the unspoken question.
I kiss her neck and tell her, “Forget breakfast. Come back to bed with me.” She leans back into me and my lips move down her neck to her shoulder.
“You realize it’s not even six, right?”