“Please?”
With a groan, Blake turned, slid his arms beneath her and carried her in to the bed.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THE ONLY WAY TO HEAL was to understand the disorder, recognize the challenges and face them head-on. Blake recited words from his counselor as he sat in the Lincoln on Friday night, once again heading back to River Bluff.
Not to see Annie. He’d meant what he’d said about that. He was never again going to allow himself to consider a relationship with her. He loved her too much, and whomever he was with was going to be hurt by his PTSD. Statistically, that was a given.But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do all he could to heal. Barely aware of the trees, the grass and rolling grazing lands as his expensive car purred down the road, Blake thought of the child he might have—Annie’s child—and knew that he would push himself every day to overcome the effects of the anxiety-ridden condition that plagued him.
He was not going to live side by side with Annie, grow old with her. But they would share a child—a part of him and a part of her together forever—and for that he would be grateful. Thankful. Happy.
In the meantime, despite a strong inclination to go home and stay there for the weekend, he’d accepted an invitation from Cole to watch the Godfather and share a pizza. He’d never seen the famous movies, and Cole was constantly quoting from them. “Taking it to the mattresses” his friend said when the going got tough and he refused to give up.
All Blake could think about when he heard those words was Annie.
Cole had been after him for months to join him for a movie fest. So here Blake was, taking another step out, pushing himself to live. For Annie’s baby.
Since his divorce, Cole had devoted his evenings and weekends to finishing his house. He was far from finished. Nothing much on the walls, the place was devoid of furniture, too, except for a large-screen television and the pair of black leather recliners his ex hadn’t wanted.
Downing his first beer more quickly than normal, Blake focused almost completely on breathing, relaxing, repeating mantras that Dr. Magnum had taught him. He was sitting down to watch three movies about organized crime. There would be violence.
But they were only flicks. Fiction.
He’d never been the victim of physical violence.
“Any word on Jake?” he asked his friend as they waited for the pizza to be delivered.
Shaking his head, Cole opened a second beer for himself and poured a quarter of it down his throat before dropping into a reclining chair next to Blake. They sat right in front of the screen, which was playing, and replaying, the opening sequence of the DVD.
“He wasn’t at the last known address. The sheriff says it could take a day or two to hear back, since it’s not an emergency. They’re looking for a social security match on other records.”
Surprising himself with the extent of his curiosity over the absent Wild Bunch original, and Cole’s best childhood friend, Blake asked, “Where was that address?”
“Someplace in California.”
“Is that where he went when he left here?”
Cole tipped the bottle to his lips again. “I have no idea.” There was more than a hint of attitude in his response.
“He didn’t even tell you that much?”
“Nope.” Another sip, and Cole held the dark glass bottle against the leg of his jeans. “Fifteen years of friendship and he just up and left. Didn’t even tell me he was going.”
“And he’s never called.”
“Nope.”
“You sure he wasn’t abducted? It happens, you know.”
“I’m sure. He took everything he cared about. Which wasn’t all that much. And left a note for Verne, telling him to do whatever he wanted to with the Wild Card.”
“Did Verne ever hear from him again?”
“Not so’s he ever said. But who knows with Verne? He had a hard time remembering if he’d had breakfast on any given day.”
Yes, and there but for the grace of God went Blake. He took another sip of beer, knowing that he’d have his limit and be done. While the immediate relief alcohol brought might be welcome, the long-term effects were not.
He had a life to think about. Maybe more than one, if Annie’s test on Tuesday was positive.