“Then...”
“You asked for my honesty.”
“Yes.” She wanted it more than he knew. Because it told her he was real. That she could trust him.
That she had something solid at her back, something of her own. Like Lacey had Levi and Jem.
No... She shook her head. That wasn’t right. Not like Jem. But like...she didn’t know what. Couldn’t think.
“Then my honest opinion is I don’t think you should lean on her for the things you can do yourself. Save her for the things you really need from her.”
Wow. That was harsh. But...he was right.
“You’re afraid I’m going to fall back into old patterns.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But you think it.” A noise sounded beside her. Turning, she looked, but didn’t see anything. Maybe it was just the water falling over rocks. Or one of the frogs Jem had brought for the garden.
“Not really,” he said. “But as your...mentor...someone who’s heard you lament over your lack of confidence that you won’t fall back...”
“You’re right, Michael. If I’m going to fail, this would be the time.”
The sky above felt too broad, filled with knowing eyes. The yard with things she couldn’t see. Holding both water bottles, one in her hand, one with that same arm against her body, she used her free hand to reach for his.
“Can we go back in?” she asked, heading purposefully toward the door.
“Do you want to turn off the waterfall?” he asked, slowing as they neared the switch.
No! “Um, let’s leave it on for now, okay?”
She needed light in her darkness.
As soon as they reentered the Arizona room, she switched on both lamps and settled back into the couch. As far back as she could get. Letting it cradle her.
Michael sat down, too. At the other end. She wished he was closer. But that gave him better access to any entrance to the room.
Not that she thought there was a threat. She just needed to know she was covered. “I guess I’ll need to keep in close touch when I go home tomorrow,” she said. “I could see how the lure of the blur could be kind of tempting right now.”
Except that the last thing she wanted was to be vulnerable in any way around anyone she didn’t know and trust. The idea of dulled senses scared the wits out of her.
“I don’t think you should go home tomorrow.”
“I have a date tomorrow night.” Bo...
Lacey hadn’t called him yet. Had she? She hadn’t said so. And he hadn’t called her, which he most certainly would have done.
“I expected Bo to be here.”
“He doesn’t know yet. And that’s just as well. I need to get through tonight and then I can start thinking about how this is going to affect everyone else.”
“And this is going to affect Bo how?”
“If the police report gets media notice, it’ll be all over that Bo’s new girlfriend was attacked.”
“So it’s the publicity you’re worried about?”
“Of course not.” Was it? She shook her head. She didn’t know. That was her world. Caring about what was in the press. Careers were made from media attention. And could be lost, too. “I just... Lacey said she’d call. And I’m sure she knew that I couldn’t deal with all of that tonight.”