And Lizzie, whom he could see through the window of the post office, glanced out at them every few seconds. It was as though she wanted to make sure he wasn’t taking off or in any other way interacting with the child he’d helped create.
Throughout the past couple of days, he’d caught glimpses of the woman who’d captivated him the year before, but her defenses were so high he was definitely hands-off.
He didn’t need to be hands-on, he continuously told himself. He needed only to solidify a plan to provide for her and their daughter. Leaving her defenses intact was the most righteous way to handle his association with her.
“How about a trip to the Santa Train today?” he asked when she returned to the car and suggested a fast-food hamburger place for lunch. The two-hour train ride, not as well known as the Austin Steam Train, because of it’s expense for a mostly “kiddie” attraction, rode through hills decorated to look like little towns along the route to the North Pole, a mount that overlooked the city of Austin and hosted a five-star restaurant. It wasn’t that he minded the burgers, but he only had nine more days to spoil her
. Or maybe he was just fulfilling his own selfish need to be with her and be himself, too. “We could have lunch there.” The Santa Train was one of a list of events and activities he’d collected off the internet the night before.
“What’s the Santa Train?” she asked, frowning, as they sat in the post office parking lot with the car running. When he told her, her response was immediate. “I’m not dressed for even a three-star restaurant and I’m not sure about Stella. A long train ride seems like a lot...and it’s not like she’s old enough to enjoy the decorations or even know what’s going on.”
“If she’s awake, she’ll like the bright colors,” he told her, thinking about the way the baby stared at Christmas tree lights, seemingly fascinated by them. “And if the motion of the train keeps her asleep, we can still enjoy them. And don’t worry. Your jeans are perfect for a day in the hills, as are mine. If we look out of place, at least we’ll do so together.” He smiled at her.
She smiled back and he had to fight the urge to kiss her.
By the time they were rambling back down to Lizzie’s car later that afternoon, Nolan buzzed with enough energy to propel the train himself. He’d spent himself silly in the gift shop, buying up every baby thing there. At first, Lizzie had joined in the game.
At what point she’d gone silent, he wasn’t sure. She’d picked up the baby’s carrier and walked out of the store. He’d been left carrying the bags filled with his purchases.
She’d perked up at lunch, laughing with him when he got Stella to smile and then laugh out loud by bringing his face close to hers over and over again and saying, “Boo!” He didn’t notice the other patrons looking over, some with indulgent smiles, a couple with frowns, until Lizzie gave his foot a nudge under their table.
He’d been granted the honor of transporting the baby carrier out of the restaurant and back to the train, but only because Lizzie had taken the baby into the restroom to change and feed her. His gut leaped when the bathroom door opened twenty minutes later and she came walking out.
The Santa Train was an expensive treat for the rich and privileged. Beautiful people abounded around them. He’d watched many socialites walk out of the bathroom during the time he’d been waiting. Not one of them had elicited a response from his body.
Watching Lizzie walk toward him made his crotch swell, a fact he tried desperately to ignore as he held the carrier while she latched the baby inside.
And then they were on the ride out of the hills, speeding back to a reality he didn’t want to embrace.
“I can swing two weekends here a month if I quit the band.” He was only thinking out loud. Picturing himself flying back and forth to Austin to see Lizzie and Stella. In the past couple of days, not seeing them had become unacceptable to him.
“What?”
“I could get a place. Hell, you two could live in it. I’d have my own room and fly down at least twice a month. You could teach, have your freedom, and I’d still be around enough that she’ll know me. And I’ll know her.”
Lizzie’s pause wasn’t unexpected. He was kind of taking a step back himself as he heard his own words. But when he replayed the idea it wasn’t horrible.
The third time around, he was thinking about size, location, number of bedrooms—trying to get a mental image of how it would all look.
“No.”
Her word cut him short right when he was starting to feel optimistic again. Turning to look at her on the bench seat beside him in the open-air train, he said, “You won’t even think about it?”
“No.” With the baby carrier on her lap, she looked out the window.
“Why not?”
“I’m not going to be a kept woman, Nolan. I’m not some woman you got knocked up.” She spoke softly, though there was no one on the seats in front of or behind them.
The fierceness of her words cut into him.
“I didn’t mean for you to get pregnant, either. I’m certain we were careful, every single time.”
She glanced his way, then away, and nodded.
“And you aren’t just ‘some woman,’ Lizzie.” Not that it mattered now, any of it. She’d gotten pregnant. They had a baby. And their lives weren’t destined to be lived together.
Nolan Fortune knew to stick to the facts.