“I’m sorry you had bad news. And sorry that I overreacted like a first-rate jackass.”
She thought for a second. Nodded. “I’d say, given the circumstances, some bit of unease was natural.”
Mostly what she thought was that the man got more incredible every time she was with him. He’d apologized. Acknowledged that he’d been a bit harsh there for a second. No one was perfect, but when you were with someone who was willing to take honest looks, to admit to mistakes...
Keith had never done that. Drake, either. Never. Ever. Both of them. Like it was in the wild man’s genes to believe they were invincible. Never wrong.
Like Jayden believed himself about Bill Heber.
Still, he’d admitted he could be wrong. He’d see reason about Bill, too, once they had enough proof. And in the meantime, he was keeping close tabs on the guy so she knew Suzie would be safe.
“So why such a strong reaction?” she asked him.
“You know the reason. I’m on my second chance. What’s left of my life is about serving others. About making them feel good. Not about me.”
“So...you don’t think you could be a great dad someday? Not now. Now with me. But someday? You’re loyal. Hardworking. You give people the benefit of the doubt. And believe in forgiveness...some child could benefit from that.”
He took another sip of wine. Not looking at her anymore.
“I’m not going to have what I took from someone else.” He’d said something similar the other day. When they’d agreed to have a fling. Rather than a relationship.
“You took someone’s ability to be a father?”
“Not directly, but yes.”
“How?”
“You’re breaking the rules now.”
She supposed she was. “I told you about my past.”
“I’m sorry, Emma. I’m not going to tell you about mine. Take it or leave it.” His head turned sideways, their shoulders and thighs touching. He gave her such a serious look, she had to take a moment to absorb it.
Whatever had happened to him went deep. Too deep.
“Okay,” she said, still holding his gaze, as serious as he was.
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I am.”
Chapter 15
They had sex again and again that whole night. Jayden couldn’t get enough of her, in enough ways. He thought about the pool, but didn’t want to take her out to real-life memories that would intrude on them.
Her room was like some kind of womanly garden, a hive where desire swarmed thick as honey. It wrapped around them, creating some kind of masterpiece. Not a relationship. Or a future.
Or a child. He had no doubts about that.
But it was something that would always exist. Even if only just in that one memory.
They worked hard at it. Sweating, panting. At one point there were tears in her eyes. She’d been on top of him, had just had an orgasm, and as she’d looked down at him, he’d seen the moisture. She made a joke then. Moved around on his body, distracting the hell out of him, and the moment was gone.
The next morning, though, it was as if the night had never been. Things were strictly professional again. The fact that she was so close to having a child made it a little easier for him to find his necessary distance. He’d been more than a little surprised to hear that.
“People remember what they see,” Emma told him as she brought him coffee in bed. It was Sunday; he didn’t have to rush off. Apparently she had things to do. She didn’t join him under the covers, but rather, in shorts and a T-shirt, curled up in the armchair in the corner of the room. “They don’t remember what they don’t see.”
“Okay.”