"But Ashley hasn't made me sad a single day of her life!"
"Apparently, she doesn't think so."
"She hardly even makes me m
ad."
"You do have amazing patience with her."
Jamie pushed her coffee away, sick at the thought that Ashley might be growing up the way she had, shouldering the blame for everything that happened, or might happen, in the lives around her.
"Obviously I need to be more careful, as well." Jamie flipped the spoon she'd used to stir her abandoned coffee. "She must read my moods like a book."
"She's one smart little girl. Imagine, a four-year-old figuring that her father was a war hero."
And suddenly they were back to where the conversation had begun, Ashley inventing excuses for the absence of her father. And Karen wondering how true they were.
Funny how life had a way of regurgitating on you all at once. First yesterday's phone call. And now this.
"I thought I'd have a few more years before she started asking questions."
"Wished was more like it, huh?" Karen asked with understanding, in spite of the fact that Kayla's father was very much a part of their lives. A software consultant, he traveled frequently, but when he was home, he belonged one-hundred percent to Karen and Kayla.
TARA TAYLOR QUDMN
"Ashley's father isn't dead."
The bald words fell into Karen's sunny kitchen to lie, completely exposed, on the table between them. Karen had never asked about Jamie's past. Jamie had never offered a word. This particular silence was an understood part of their friendship. A pact Jamie had needed in order for the friendship to exist—a pact she'd just broken.
And she had no idea why. She couldn't tell Karen about that time in her life. Not if she wanted to hang on to the life she'd made for herself since.
"He didn't want her?" Karen stirred furiously, staring at the coffee sloshing over her cup.
"He doesn't know about her."
"Oh."
"We were only…together…once."
Karen laid her spoon in her saucer and looked up at Jamie, her eyes still glowing with tenderness. Not with the condemnation Jamie knew she deserved.
"The baby that resulted simply wasn't an issue. Wasn't part of that night."
"How can you say that if he didn't have the opportunity to make her a part of that night?'' Karen asked softly.
Jamie remembered, very clearly, the wad of bills on the nightstand.
"Let's just say it was an unspoken rule. Any consequences were mine alone."
"The bastard!"
"I went with him willingly."
"And I know you well enough to be absolutely sure that he'd touched your heart. You cared for him
HER SECRET, HIS CHILD
and thought he cared back. You never would've done it otherwise."