mie—not wanting them to think she was there specifically with him. It helped that he hadn’t looked at her since the judge had spoken to her.
“Okay, good, let’s go get some lunch,” Judge Sanders said, standing while the others followed suit. Jamie turned to her; she saw him do it from the other side of the table. She’d scooted ahead of Tanya, to put herself between the two lawyers. She’d need to sit next to Jamie, to give the baby as much chance as possible to hear his voice. Maybe she should sit between the two men, so the baby could get familiar with both voices...
“Ms. Elliott?” Judge Sanders’s booming voice called her to attention just as she was reaching for a plate—and noticed that the others had all moved on, taking plates from the identical stack of them across the room.
“Yes, sir?”
“I just... I’m sorry.”
She smiled, just wanting to get away. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” she said, picturing herself behind her desk, speaking with a client.
Any client but Jamie.
“I was harsh,” he said, and the catch in his voice drew her attention. She glanced into his green eyes and saw pain there. “Harsher than I generally am. You’re unselfishly giving us a great gift, and yet... I look at you and I feel resentment...”
His voice broke. And she understood. Hearing a replay of a conversation she’d had with Jamie many weeks before.
Nodding her head, she started to speak, but he said, “It’s so hard...my Emily should be...” His voice broke and his eyes moistened.
“It’s okay, Judge,” she said, reaching out to touch his hand without questioning herself. “I truly do understand. This isn’t an easy situation. It’s going to have hard parts for all of us. I just hope that, in the end, it brings you and Jamie, and the little one, more joy than any of you could imagine.”
Because that’s what families did.
She knew. She’d had one once. With her mom and dad. And then again with her grandparents.
And had almost had another—before she’d given him up to a family that had a much better chance at bringing him more joy than struggle.
She just had to keep her mind on the prize—giving two very nice men a new family member. And in so doing, giving them a piece of their family back.
Chapter Sixteen
The twelve-week ultrasound went about the same as the first. Jamie couldn’t see much but the screen and Christine’s face. The technician had spoken mainly to him again. As far as he’d seen, Christine had kept her eyes closed. She’d left as soon as they met with Dr. Adams, though he’d known this time that she’d scheduled the appointment in between meetings at The Parent Portal.
Good news was that the fertility specialist was pleased with her uterine lining and Christine shouldn’t need injections. Dr. Adams had turned over the remainder of the prenatal care to Dr. Miller, Christine’s regular ob-gyn. The sonogram had been inconclusive regarding the sex of the child.
He hated that Christine hadn’t been there to hear the report with him. It hadn’t seemed right, her having left before he’d heard the results.
He suspected she’d done so on purpose.
And didn’t blame her.
He hadn’t been able to stop grinning, looking at the film of his little one’s movement, and when the sound of the baby’s heartbeat echoed through the room, he’d teared up as chills shot through him. How did you know that life was growing inside you and also be okay with having no claim to it?
No right to it?
He wished he’d been more aware of what he’d been asking when he’d come up with the surrogacy idea. It could be that he’d have asked anyway, but at least he could have been more sensitive.
Exactly what he’d do differently, he didn’t know, but, seeing how loving Christine was, how nurturing, he knew he’d have tried to do something.
They continued their thrice-weekly meetings without change on into September. As busy as he was with the additional class, along with tennis practices and driving into the university in Mission Viejo a couple of times a week, those hours with Christine were the highlight of his life. Partially because she was carrying his baby.
And partially because... He hoped to God he was suffering from transference. But as time went on, he didn’t think so. She drew him like a magnet, and he knew all about the molecular structure that defined many magnetic properties. Physics made more sense to him than emotional transference. And still didn’t explain why this one woman called out to him.
So he let it go as best he could. Lived his life one day at a time. Enjoying the days with Christine in them more than the ones from which she was absent.
He’d passed on the house he’d wanted to buy, having seen that the structural damage was just too great to be a good investment. He had had to put most of his things in storage and move in to a little rental property while he looked for something else.
Other than the fact that he was aware he needed a place to put the nursery furniture he’d ordered, as well as the various other baby items he’d been buying—a stroller, a year’s worth of disposable diapers, lotions and towels with hoods, car seat and... The list went on and on—he wasn’t hating the rental. He’d found a little cottage right on a stretch of the private beach that made Marie Cove so desirable to many of Los Angeles’ elite. It was only a mile from Christine’s house, and he liked the vicinity.