Only, at the moment she felt fortunate to be financially secure, to not be an emotional wreck and, God forbid, have a pregnancy scare. Not that she didnt think Faith would be a terrific mother and adjust to the situation in record time, but the idea still sent a shudder down Julies spine.
Maybe one day? But not anytime soon. No, she had no desire to settle down and breed a bunch of peeing, puking, burping, crying little munchkins.
It was six by the time she parked in her spot. Not that it took her eons to get ready, but she wanted to look damn good tonight. After all the entire point was to let Nathan Tucker know what he was missing.
What demon possessed her, she wasnt sure. As she let herself into her apartment and headed for the bathroom, she reflected on the idea that she was probably being more than a little vindictive.
Was it hurt pride? No, s
he didnt think that was it. Nathan was hardly the first man to ever be oblivious to her signals. Shed always adopted a fuck-it attitude when it came to men. So why was she so uptight over Nathan Tucker?
Because you want him more than you’ve wanted other men.
And there it was. The truth hurt but it was still there in black and white. For whatever reason, she wanted Nathan more than shed ever wanted another man, and the fact that he hadnt wanted her in the beginning did sting.
A cool shower helped to clear her head and sooth her savaged nerves. It really did irritate her that Nathan affected her so much. She was normally cool and confident, but hed managed to turn her into a raving, desperate lunatic.
Most women her size probably wouldnt wear tight, form-fitting jeans, but she didnt have any compunction about displaying her body. To be honest, shed tried skinnier and leaner, and it just didnt look good on her.
Once, after breaking up with a dickhead who snidely told her she could stand to lose a few pounds, shed gotten serious about losing weight. Shed dropped thirty pounds, but it just hadnt worked for her. She liked herself the way she was, and she was pissed as hell that shed let a man change the way she looked at herself, even if it had been a temporary thing.
After that, shed forgotten all about ideal sizes, had rounded out and added back her ample curves, and quite frankly she liked herself a lot better, and she had her self-respect back.
Her mother wasnt perfect by a long shot, but what she had given Julie from the time she was a child was a strong sense of self. Not a day went by that she hadnt told Julie how beautiful she was, how smart. Shed imbued her daughter with the belief she could do anything, be anything. Shed grown up believing that. She still did.
She needed to call her mom and check in. Make sure she didnt need anything. Lord knows her brother wasnt going to step up. As much as it galled her to have any contact with the moron her mother had married, she couldnt very well turn her back on her mom.
Besides, there was always the outside chance that her mother might actually surprise her and leave the jerk.
Chuckling over the absurdity of that notion, she finished dressing, applied light makeup and brushed out her hair until it fell softly over her shoulders.
The only area she paid special attention to was her lips. She applied rich red lipstick because she wanted Nathan to look at those lips and remember them around his cock.
She cracked a grin and then checked to make sure she didnt have lipstick on her teeth. Satisfied with her appearance, she went in search of her shoes. With ten minutes to spare, she went back into the living room to wait for Nathan to arrive.
Oddly she wasnt nervous. Excitement hummed through her veins. Finally she was going to be on a real date with him. After months of cat and mouse, of hinting and endless flirtation, the man had gained a clue. It didnt speak well of a lengthy relationship if she had to beat him over the head with a baseball bat every time she wanted his attention.
When her doorbell rang five minutes early, she had to stop herself from bolting to the door. Chiding herself for being way too damn eager, she took her time going to let him in.
She opened the door to see him filling up the entrance, his hands shoved nervously in his pockets.
"You shouldnt just answer the door without checking to see whos outside," he said with a frown. "What if I had been some rapist or serial killer?"
She let her hand rest on the edge of the door and cocked her hip to the side as she studied just how damn good he looked in his Carhartt jeans. They molded to all the right spots, cupping him as lovingly as she would have, given the opportunity. And the simple T-shirt he wore shouldnt have been anything special, but it spread tightly across his chest, outlining in perfect detail every ripple and bulge of his muscles.
Damn it, why couldnt he be mediocre? Or passably handsome? Why couldnt he be one of these guys who only had his personality going for him? Why did he have to be the total package for her?
"Are you listening to me, Julie?"
She blinked. "Huh?"
"I said you shouldnt be answering the door without knowing for sure whos on the other side. Its dangerous. "
"Oh, well, I knew it was you. Who else would it be?" she asked lightly.
"Thats not the point. From now on, check before you open the door, okay? They should have peepholes on these doors. "
"Youre off the clock, Nathan," she said as she gestured him inside.
He flashed a quick grin as he stepped inside the small foyer. He filled up the entire entryway, and suddenly she felt pretty small beside him.
"Just let me get my purse and we can head out," she said.
He nodded and stood waiting while she ducked back into the living room. Seconds later she returned.
"You ready?"
"Sure, lets do it. "
He motioned her ahead of him and they walked out the door. She turned back to lock it, and he waited on the sidewalk until she rejoined him. Then he walked her to his truck and opened the passenger door for her.
It was a long damn way up and she eyed the seat skeptically. Even the "oh shit" handle was out of reach.
To her surprise, Nathan put his hands around her waist and lifted her up as easily as if she was one of those small, dainty females. She landed in the seat with his hand still resting firmly on her thigh. For a long moment, he stood there, looking at her with heat radiating from his eyes.