She should not have come down here. She would not have seen the sleek physical beauty his every movement displayed for her. Gideon was an attractive male animal and she was Jar too responsive to his attraction.
'I need a hot drink,' he said. 'I'm frozen.'
She looked at him through lowered lashes, her small face obstinate. 'I'll get you one, but go and change out of those wet clothes'.'
He smiled at her and her heart turned over. He went out and she picked up his wet shirt and sweater and held them tightly in her hands, looking at them. The smell of rain and sea-mist hung over them mingled with the faint astringent fragrance of Gideon's body.
Marina put on the kettle and got out cups. Gideon came back in a clean sweater and trousers. She could see that he had combed down his hair. It no longer stood in those ruffled peaks but lay smooth and partially damp across his head. The rain and wind had given a glowing colour to his skin, but the dark eyes were sombre under their black brows.
'Have you eaten?' she asked with her back to him.
'I'm not hungry.' He moved quietly until he stood just behind her. 'I'm sorry I woke you.'
'You didn't,' she shrugged without turning round. 'The storm woke me. Is it very rough at sea?'
'Waves like mountains,' he told her. 'I saw them breaking over the jetty, higher than houses.'
'We don't often get seas like that. I wouldn't like to be out at sea tonight.'
'No,' he agreed, so close that she could hear his breathing and the faint sounds of his tiniest movements, the rasp of his hands as he pushed them into his pockets, the rustle of his collar against his throat as he turned his head.
The kettle boiled and she made the tea, her actions deft and quick, the automatic movements which the hands can perform while the brain is absorbed in other things. Gideon watched her and she knew what he was feeling. She was deeply aware of what was going on inside him because it was a response to what was happening inside her.
They were talking like polite strangers, but underneath that their bodies were vibrating with the powerful tug of physical attraction and she could not stop the process.
'You must eat something,' she told him briskly. 'I'll make you a ham sandwich.' He watched her as she deftly cut the bread and buttered it, laid the ham inside. She pushed the plate of sandwiches across to Gideon.
He sat at the kitchen table and looked at the food. 'I'm really not hungry,' he muttered.
'Eat it.' She poured the tea and gave him a cup. Reluctantly he began to eat one of the sandwiches.
He fiddled with the edge of the plate, studying the pretty band of roses with apparent fascination. 'What are you going to do, Marina?'
She sat down and sipped her tea without answering and Gideon lifted his black head to look at her.
She met his eyes. 'Grandie and I were discussing that today. I think I'll go back to college for my final year.'
Gideon looked back at the food and pushed the plate away. 'I see,' he muttered.
She had never seen him so muted, the inner light of his powerful personality completely doused. His mouth was set in lines of wry acceptance. She could not see his eyes, they were hidden by their lids, but the lashes flickered constantly.
He picked up his cup and the sound of it jarring against the saucer told her that his hand was shaking. He held it between both hands and sipped the tea, still not looking at her.
Pain pulsed inside her. She did not want to respond to the silent appeal he was making, she did not want to be aware of his pain. Gideon had no right to feel it.
'You were right,' he said suddenly, his voice husky. 'I've been blindly selfish all along. I'd never seen it all from your angle. I'd only ever seen it from mine.'
'You don't need to tell me that,' she said bitterly.
'No.' His head bowed lower. 'You despise me, and I deserve it. I accept that I've been selfish.' He lifted his head abruptly and the dark eyes looked straight into hers. 'But that day you came to the flat and saw me with Diana, I wasn't kissing her, Marina. She was kissing me, and if you'd come in a moment later you wouldn't have seen what you did. I didn't want her to kiss me. Hell, I was indifferent to her. I hadn't seen her since the night I saw you and that boy together—I swear that on my honour.'
'Your honour?' She laughed and he winced.
'I don't deserve that,' he emphasised. 'I wouldn't lie to you. You've got to believe me.'
She studied him and she knew she did believe him. Diana's angry passion when they met the other day had told her that Gideon had dismissed the other woman from his life with cold finality. She felt pity for Diana. Gideon had been ruthless with her. Once he had made up his mind, he had cut her from his life without looking back. Diana had never meant a thing to him.
He saw the realisation in her face and hurriedly went on, 'I was working on those damned papers in the flat because I was desperate to get down here to you. My God, Marina, I was aching to see you. The last thing on my mind was Diana. She just walked in and took me by surprise. She'd heard I was in town alone.' He grimaced, breaking off, a dark colour invading his cheeks. 'Diana thought...'