“How is that good? How can anything about this feeling be good?” I asked, choking back another sob. Luke smiled that unbelievably handsome smile that said he was proud of me, although he had no reason to be.
“Because it means you care.”
Chapter 14
Dallas
I stood in the bathroom, practicing my happy face, which I would have to force on once we joined the others for breakfast. I wanted to stay home and shield myself from the disapproving eyes of Ronnie, and the rest of the club. I didn’t mind if the ladies found my actions wrongful, it was the brothers that I didn’t want to hate me. Why? I had no idea. Luke said it was because I cared, which I did, but proving myself to them was going to be hard. How would I ever convince them that I could act like a good sister and be someone they could confide in and depend on? The women knew what I was going through because they were, well, they were women. We all had that ugly bitch lurking inside us somewhere, and she often reared her repulsive face at the most unwelcome and awkward moments; usually when we were surrounded by people to whom we were trying hard to prove our loyalty.
“Ready, babe?” Luke asked, peeking round the bathroom door.
“I don’t want them to hate me.” I pouted, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I might have looked like a biker chick in my black long-sleeved shirt, studded belt, tight jeans, and wedged, thigh-high riding boots, but I damned sure didn’t act like one.
“They don’t hate you, babe. We have all let one another down at some point. Look on the bright side,” I eyed him incredulously, biting my tongue to keep from asking what the fuck was bright about any side of this scenario. “You could have refused to back down and forced Chi Chi to settle your problems right there and then, but whatever she said to you convinced you that it was best to leave things as they were. No one is going to hold it against you. Stop beating yourself up.” I sighed in frustration at Luke’s obvious lack of knowledge. “I know, my words don’t help, but you will get over it babe, and so will they.” Okay, so maybe Luke did have knowledge, but it still didn’t help with my frustration. Panic filled me as I remembered something much more important than the club hating me.
“I forgot my cut,” I whispered to Luke, my eyes the size of saucers, as I started to lose my self-control. How could I be so stupid to forget it? My first ride would be without the weight of my leather, and I might as well have been naked.
“Babe,” Luke said calmly, but I didn’t have time for calm.
“What am I going to do? They’re going to think I’m an idiot.”
“Babe,”
“I don’t want to go. Tell them I’m sick.” I couldn’t go out with all of them. No fucking way. I would just change clothes and take my car. No one would expect me to wear a black leather vest with my blue sundress with the brown, braided, leather belt. That would be like a slap in the face to Dolce and Gabbana.
“Babe,” Luke said, a little louder this time, pushing his way into my thoughts.
“What?” I snapped, wanting to scream bloody murder until his smirk disappeared. I was at my wits end, and was just fixing to open my mouth to release a blood-curdling scream, when he dangled my cut in front of my face, waving it from side to side on the tip of his finger. Relief flooded me, and I almost hit my knees. “Oh thank fuck, Luke.” I said, eyeing the beautiful patches that covered the back.
“Don’t thank fuck, whoever the hell that is. Thank Luke. I’m the one who brought it for you.” I kissed Luke’s smirking face and pulled back, rewarding him with a smile reserved for his eyes only. “There’s my girl.” His girl. That would never get old. “Okay, let’s go,” he said, hurrying me, as I grabbed my black leather, cross-body Balenciaga bag. Here goes nothing.
We entered the bar area of the clubhouse to find everyone waiting for us. Just fucking great. I expected an eye roll, and a sigh from each one of them, but they greeted us, everyone hugging Luke good morning, while the ones I had not seen hugged me. Big Al walked up, punching the air before he hugged me, earning him a humorless look from me that just made him laugh harder.
“I’m gonna nick-name you Tyson.” He said, oblivious to Chi Chi and Shark, who stood within hearing range of him. Hell, maybe he was aware of them, and just didn’t give a shit.
“You are a little small to have a nickname like Tyson,” came a deep voice from beside me. I looked up… and up some more to find the face of a man I recognized as Brayson, or Brad, or something like that. I gave him an apologetic look, and he smiled in return. “Devil’s Renegades Sergeant At Arms, Bryce. Good to see you again, Dallas.”