Friday, Maddie had come to spend the day with me and I was glad I had taken Lindsey’s advice to find out more about Maddie from Maddie’s point of view. Our conversation had started when memories of her own mother were triggered once I showed her the hope chest full of things my mother had left for me.
“I was born Candice Madison Pittman. I was nicknamed Maddie by Frankie, who refused to call me Candice because it reminded him of a stripper that stole his wallet named Candy.” Maddie laughed, and I joined her, my memories of Frankie not as pleasant as hers, but even I found humor in him saying that. “My mom didn’t like it at first, but it grew on her eventually. She was such a romantic,” Maddie said, pausing to look at a picture I had of my mother and father kissing. “She would always read these books with these heroes that rode white horses and shit, and tell them to me as bed time stories. Frankie wasn’t around much, so most of our time was spent with just the two of us. When she died, Frankie tried hard for the first few weeks, but he couldn’t handle it. I hardly saw him after that. I spent my life with the club, looking up to Red and Luke. Red was a junkie, and Luke was always going on runs, working hard trying to prove himself. I spent a lot of time with Pops, and they all tried like hell to shield me from the life, but it found me and I welcomed it.” She turned her head, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with her fingers to stop her tears, as she struggled to continue. I knew this was painful for her. Talking about her mother was bad enough, but Brooklyn had shared with me a small bit of her story, and I was aware of what was to come. We were sitting on my bed, our backs against the headboard, with a box of old pictures strewn out around us. When she gathered her composure, her eyes landed on a picture of me and my ex-boyfriend Sam, sharing a kiss on the beach. “That’s when I met Brett,” she continued, as I remembered that Brett was Logan’s dead-beat father that was no longer in the picture. “He was such an asshole.” Luke’s signature smirk had rubbed off on Maddie and she wore it well. “I was such a fool. I just wanted someone who would spend time with me, and show me a little attention. Luke hated him from the first time he met him. Every time Brett left, Luke would say, ‘He’s a piece of shit, Maddie. You are too good for him. I don’t like the way he looks at you.’” I laughed at Maddie’s impersonation of Luke. It was actually pretty good.
“Sounds just like him.”
“I wanted Luke’s attention. Negative attention was better than no attention, and I got plenty of it when I started seeing Brett. When Luke told me I couldn’t see him anymore I rebelled. I knew I didn’t love Brett, but I didn’t care. Then I got pregnant. Luke was furious at first, but then he told me that he would help me take care of the baby, and I didn’t need Brett. But Luke was so busy with the club that he wasn’t there all the time, and I began to get lonely. He called to check on me, but that was about it. When Logan was born, Luke was at the hospital, but so were Frankie and Brett, so it was a little awkward. Luke didn’t stay long, and I was on my own again. The calls from Luke came less and less. He still cared about me, and was worried, but I was living my own life with a baby and Brett, and Luke was doing his own thing with the club. Then Brett lost it one night. I had Logan in a high-chair in the kitchen, and I caught Brett and his buddies smoking dope in front of him. I later found that they had been blowing it in his face, but at the time I had no clue. If I had, I probably would’ve tried to kill him that day. When I started screaming at Brett, he snapped. He had slapped me around before, but this time was different. He wouldn’t stop. Luckily, we were living in a cheap apartment, and the walls were so thin that the neighbor heard the baby crying later that night, and came over to check on me. She beat on the door, but I was unconscious. Soon the police came and I was admitted to the intensive care unit, and Logan was placed in foster care. When I finally did wake up after being in a coma for three days, the only person I wanted was Luke.” Maddie opened her mouth to continue then shut it, her dark memories taking her far away. She turned her head to me, her eyes brimming with tears that were threatening to spill out over her long lashes. “When Brett was beating me, Dallas. When I knew he wasn’t going to stop until I was dead, I didn’t cry for help. I didn’t scream for someone to call the police. The only person I screamed for was Luke.” I felt like vomiting at her words. I had done the same thing. I had screamed for him over, and over, and over. Then later when I was angry at him, I had told him what I had done. No wonder it had hurt him so bad. Not only did he feel like he had failed me, but the memory of him failing Maddie was thrown back in his face. “When I saw his face in that hospital room, I knew my life would never be the same, and neither would his. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I thank God that Brett did that to me. If he hadn’t, Luke might not have ever quit doing the shit he was doing.” She wiped her eyes, taking a deep breath then blowing it out slowly, nodding her head as if she was having a mental debate and had found a side to agree with. “Shit changed after that. Luke found me an apartment and set me up with a job as a secretary for his father. I got Logan back and Luke’s nanny became my new best friend. She took care of Logan while I worked and got back on my feet. Luke took the club in a different direction. He used the money your father had paid him to protect you to invest in the bar. He got his own shit together, and started working for his father, becoming a partner in almost no time at all. Everything was perfect, and then Luke saw you that night in the bar and couldn’t resist you. I knew when Red called me and said the two of you had left together that nothing would be the same. I expected the worst and got the best.” She nudged her shoulder against mine, and I found the opening I needed to ask her the question that had been gnawing at me since this conversation had started.