He leans back and looks down at me. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I am. I was just thinking. Coming to terms with some things.”
“Anything you need to talk about?”
“No.” I stand and offer him my hand. “No, I have it figured out for now.”
Chapter 18
~Seth~
I like having her here. All of her. At this point, after spending more than a month in the house, she’s pretty much unpacked her van, and all of her things are mingled with mine.
She has closet space. Drawers in the dresser. She bought fancy little autumn towels for the kitchen that I’m not allowed to use to dry my hands because they’re decorative.
Without a declaration from one of us, she’s moved in. And I love that it was completely organic. She just lives here. Like it’s as natural as breathing.
Her slippers are by the couch where she toed them off last night when we watched the finale of the show she was supposed to be on.
I cleaned her hair out of the shower drain this morning.
And I don’t care at all. Because I love having her here.
“Ugh.” She sits on the side of the bed and presses a hand to her stomach as I walk into the bedroom.
“What’s wrong?”
“I just threw up again. I didn’t think that food poisoning lasted a week.”
“It doesn’t.” I prop my hands on my hips and frown in concern. “You really should see a doctor, babe.”
“It’s probably just the flu.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I’m not sick. If you’ve had the flu for a week, odds are good that I would have caught it, too.”
“Right.” She furrows her brow and looks up at the ceiling. “Shit. If they jinxed me, I’m going to punch them in the face. Well, just Cara. She brought it up.”
“Why are you going to punch Cara in the face? And just to warn you, I love you, but I can’t have you punching my aunt Cara, babe.”
“When she and Jillian were here last week when the sickness hit, she asked if I could be pregnant. But, of course, that wasn’t it. Because I ate the corned beef that made others sick, and we’re always careful. But—”
“But?”
“But food poisoning doesn’t last a week, Seth.”
I blink at her. “Maybe it is the flu.”
Everything in me shuts down. I don’t want to think about the alternative.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” she repeats and pastes a smile on her face. “Maybe I ate something else that didn’t agree with me. Or it was watching that jerk, Derek, on the show finale last night. That dude should not have won.”
“He looks smarmy,” I reply and try to push the idea of a pregnancy from my mind.
“You should see him in person.” She gives a pretend shiver. “Are you off to the barn for the day?”
“Yeah, we’ll be out riding fence until lunchtime, but I’ll have my cell if you need me.”
“Okay.” She wraps her arms around my shoulders. “We’re okay, right?”
“Of course. Yeah, we’re great. Feel better, babe.”
“Have a good day.”
I kiss her lightly, grab my hat, and hurry out to my truck. I’ve never wanted to get to the barn so badly in my life.
My stomach is in knots, and it has nothing to do with an illness. I’m cold. And damn it, I’m just…panicked.
I park behind the barn and hurry inside. Dad and Josh are talking with Louie when I approach.
“There you are, kid,” Louie says, but his face sobers when he sees me. “I think I’ll go check on that foal.”
He walks away, and I’m left under the scrutiny of Josh and Dad.
“What?”
“What’s wrong with you?” Josh asks.
“Nothing. Let’s go ride fence. Wait, is there a new foal?”
“Bullshit,” Dad says quietly, and both of them cross their arms over their chests and stare me down like they used to when I was in trouble as a kid. “Talk.”
I scratch my chin and shake my head. “No.”
Dad narrows his eyes. “If you won’t talk about it, I can’t use you today. I need your head in the game. So you can go.”
“I think she’s pregnant.”
The words are out of my mouth before I can reel them back in again, and the two men I respect the most in the world just stare at me.
“She’s still sick,” I continue and tell them about our conversation this morning. “Food poisoning doesn’t last a week. We all know that.”
They share a look and then turn their gazes back on me.
“And you’re not happy about it,” Dad guesses.
“I’m not dad material.” My voice is flat, devoid of any of the emotion I have roiling inside of me. “I had no plans to ever have kids. Get married? Sure. I can do that. But being a parent isn’t in my future.”
“So, what are you saying? If she’s pregnant, you’ll…what?” Josh asks. “Turn her away? Cast her aside?”