Sweet. Another one of my favorites.
I grab my keys off the counter and head toward my car, driving in the direction of the address Lilly supplied me with, slowly making my way down street after street—it’s not easy seeing the addresses with this sun setting. Many of the house numbers are hidden by trees or not there at all, not to mention there aren’t a lot of mailboxes along the road.
If anyone is watching out their window at the slow speed of my car, they’ll definitely think I am a creep.
Eventually, I find Lilly’s house.
It’s directly across the street from the fancy administration building with a red brick exterior to match. It looks quite posh for off-campus housing, not so dissimilar from the house I’m living in, although it’s much smaller.
My mother would describe it as cute.
As I’m unbuckling my seat belt so I can go to the door and let her know I’ve arrived, that same door in question opens and Lilly steps out into the dark, cold afternoon. She gives me a little wave before shutting the door behind her and locking it with a key. Makes her way down the sidewalk, pulling her jacket tighter around her.
“Brr!” she says as she climbs inside. “Who knew it was going to be this cold out tonight! I’m freezing.”
She shivers, strapping herself in.
“I love this time of year.”
“Same—except for the cold part.” She laughs. “I love fall and winter, but mostly because of the decorations and pumpkin spice and delicious food.”
“You always have food on the brain.”
“I’m hungry!” She laughs again. “Don’t judge me—I burn a lot of calories from working out and practice. It’s a hazard of the beast.”
Speaking of food… “We’re having lasagna tonight, so I’m glad you brought your appetite.”
“Lasagna?” She moans. “Oh my god, I hope it’s extra cheesy—lasagna is my favorite.”
“I thought spaghetti was your favorite.”
“It is! But so is lasagna…and ravioli…and burgers, and lobster and shrimp and sushi…”
“You just described everything.”
“It’s a curse to be non-discriminating.” She glances over at me. “Thanks for picking me up.”
“No problem. It’ll be fun tonight having someone else for my mom to dote over—all the attention will be on you, and I’ll actually be able to eat.”
“Ha ha, not funny. Will she mind if I have noodles falling out of my mouth?”
Yeah, she would mind, but she would never correct a guest for chewing with their mouth open. She would simply purse her own lips and turn her head in a different direction.
Ha!
“Also, you know I mentioned my aunt that lives with us? She’ll be home tonight.”
Lilly studies me in the dim lighting created by the glowing streetlamps that have begun turning on one at a time.
“What does that mean?”
“Well.” I clear my throat. “She’s practically a hundred years old, but she…er…acts like she’s twenty.”
Lilly laughs. “And what does that mean?”
“She’s into online dating and parties.”
Her eyes damn near bulge out of her skull. “What! What? Wait. Explain.”
“Which part did you want me to expand upon?”
“I’m not sure—I have a thirst for both, but start with the online dating part.”
I grip the wheel, grinning. “Well, let me start by saying her last boyfriend was a catfish. He said he was sixty-nine, but he was actually seventy-eight, which is still five years younger than she is.”
“Wait—stop. An old dude tried to pass himself off as younger?”
“Yes, and the thing is, Rich didn’t look like he was even remotely in his sixties. Super seventy.”
“So what happened?”
“She caught him because on their first date, he invited her to his place, and when he gave her his address, she reverse-searched it and got his full name. Which pulled up his age.”
“What did she do?”
“She chewed his ass out, but…” I pause to be dramatic, turning up the ramp to enter the freeway. “Went on the date.”
“What happened?” Lilly is hanging on my every word.
“They had piña coladas followed by dinner and wine, and Aunt Myrtle ended up puking on the carpet.”
“Stop!” Lilly shouts, laughing. “No she did not! Then what?”
“Then she passed out.”
Lilly gasps. “No!”
“Yes. She woke up and he was gone. He’d gone home.”
“And left her there?”
I nod. “Yup.”
“Ew, what an asshole.”
“I don’t think there’s an age limit for being a douchebag. So after that, she began trying to make him jealous by dating a surgeon—well, a retired surgeon. Rich didn’t take the bait, so they broke up and she met Dan.”
“Who is Dan?”
“Dan is eighty-five and takes Viagra.”
“How do you know that?”
“She told us about it at dinner one night. My ears were bleeding all the next day.”
“I can’t even believe this. Even I don’t date this much!” Lilly slumps in the passenger seat. “This means dating doesn’t get any better as you get older, which totally sucks!”
Tell me about it.
Not that I’ve tried dating, although… “I feel like it’s easier for women than it is for me.”