Fuck.
Don’t cry, Damian.
“Please,” I said, holding my arms out toward the baby. Connor placed him in my arms, and well, hell. Who knew the world could feel so light in one’s arms? I looked down into the newborn’s eyes, and I felt a wave of protection wrap around me. I knew that no matter what, I’d be there for that little guy for the rest of my life. “Welcome home, Grant Damian,” I whispered. “Welcome home.”
I stayed with Connor and Aaliyah, helping them out for a few weeks. When they had their footing, I knew it was time for me to head back to California to get back to work. “Thanks again for letting me crash.”
“Thanks again for being there for us when we needed you the most, Damian.” Connor hugged me tight, and Aaliyah did the same. I kissed Grant’s forehead and promised to see him sooner than later. Then I headed to the airport with Milo and got on a plane to return to my own reality.
41
Stella
* * *
One Saturday afternoon, I was surprised by a visitor I didn’t expect at all.
“Aaliyah, what are you doing here?” I asked as she stood on my front porch. “Oh, my goodness! Your baby!” I swooned, looking into the car seat she was carrying. My heart burst into emotions as I looked down at the beautiful baby before me.
“Just over six weeks old now. Can we come in?” she asked.
“Of course, come on,” I said, gesturing for her to enter the space.
I closed the door behind me and then led the two to the living room. “Is it okay if I hold him? Can I get you some water? Oh gosh, let me wash my hands first,” I said, walking over to the kitchen. I washed my hands, grabbed a glass of water, and then went back to the living room.
“Here you go,” I said, handing her the water. I sat beside her as she placed the glass on the table, then she began unbuckling her bundle of joy from the car seat. She lifted him up from the seat and then placed him in my arms. “He’s perfect,” I said, feeling overwhelmed. I knew I cried easily before, but now with being pregnant, all the emotions hit me that much harder.
“He really is something else. Grant Damian Roe,” she said. “My sun and moon.”
I knew his first name was Grant, after a man who seemed to be a father figure to Aaliyah as she grew up. But they gave him Damian’s name, too. That was enough to get my emotions going as little Grant wrapped his hand around my thumb.
“You miss him,” Aaliyah mentioned.
Every day, I thought to myself.
I smiled at her, and she could read my answer without me saying a word out loud.
“He misses you, too,” she swore.
That made my chest ache. It had been two weeks since I’d last seen Damian, and my mind had been racing every single day. I’d wanted to reach out to him, call him, tell him how much I wanted him to come back home. To come back to me. But I couldn’t do it. I had my own child to think of now. I couldn’t have Damian in his life, and then when things got rocky, he’d run away.
“Not that I’m not happy to see you, Aaliyah, because I am, but what are you doing here?”
“I’m staying here with you. Well, at least until things smooth out. You’re seven months pregnant, Stella, and I’m sure you could use a friend over these next two months. So, since I’m on maternity leave from work, and Connor is helping Damian with the real estate company over the next few months, I figured I could stop in and help you out. I know Maple is here for you, too, but I figured another friendly face couldn’t hurt.”
“You don’t have to do that, Aaliyah,” I said, feeling my voice shake. “I don’t want to take up your time.”
“You’re right. I don’t have to do this, but I want to. Besides, I owe Damian. Remember when he stayed by my side when Connor and I were going through a rough patch? Well, this is me returning the favor.”
I lowered my head.
Aaliyah gave me a comforting smile. “You’re scared.”
“Yes.”
“You’re scared because you know what happens…people and things leave. Like your mother and Kevin.”
“It has nothing to do with them,” I said.
“I think it does. The people you loved the most are gone, and then you had the bad people like your ex and your stepmothers, who probably told you that you didn’t deserve love. Plus, the miscarriages… It hurts when love is taken away from you.”
I stared down at the beautiful baby boy looking up at me. “I never knew real love could hurt so deeply from the idea of it going away. And now…with my baby, and with Damian…I’m scared, Aaliyah. If I lose them…if they are taken away…” My eyes shut as tears rolled down my cheeks. “I can’t keep losing the people I love.”