And they weren’t exactly wrong, were they? He was defective. An omega who was only capable of feeling attraction to the alpha he had no business feeling attraction for. An abomination.
Liam still tried. He smiled, he laughed, he flirted. By the end of each day he felt mentally and physically exhausted, his facial muscles aching from all the forced smiles. But it was working. He could tell it was working. Even if the rest of society wasn’t treating him any more kindly, most of his suitors thawed out and started treating him like they had before.
Liam tried not to dwell on why he didn’t feel any relief. He’d given up on waiting to feel attraction to any of those alphas. It wasn’t happening; he’d accepted it. But he didn’t need attraction. All he needed was to secure a good, kind husband—or wife, though he preferred males—who would get him away from the Blake house. Away from him. Away from the temptation and sin.
He got three offers of marriage by the end of the week.
Liam settled on the Earl of Terlaine, who was considered one of the most eligible bachelors in the country. Besides being titled and wealthy, he was also startlingly handsome. Tall, blond, and gorgeous, Terlaine turned heads when he entered the room. Objectively, Liam could appreciate his strong, flawless features and piercing dark eyes, too. His golden hair was just a few shades darker than Liam’s, but that was where any similarities between them ended. Terlaine was built like a powerful alpha, almost half a head taller than Liam—Anthony’s height.
Anyway. Liam knew they looked good together. Lord Terlaine was perfect.
Lord Terlaine would be his husband.
“I’m honored,” Terlaine said when Liam accepted his suit. “I’ll speak to your brother, and then we’ll announce the engagement.”
Liam smiled wanly, his heartbeat picking up. He’d forgotten that Terlaine would have to ask Anthony’s permission first. Although Liam was of age, all unmated omegas were under their family alpha’s legal guardianship until they married. But it shouldn’t be a problem, right? Anthony would probably be relieved to be rid of Liam and this sickening thing between them.
“Are you sure about it, Li?” Jules said that evening when Liam told him that he had accepted Terlaine’s suit. “Don’t get me wrong: Lord Terlaine is very handsome, almost as handsome as my Devlin, but there’s more to picking a husband than just good looks. Do you love him?”
Liam fixed his gaze on his tablet. “You know my views on this, Jules. I like him as a person. I’m sure love will come with time. I doubt he loves me right now, either. That’s how society matches work.”
“Not always,” Jules said. “I love Devlin.”
Liam smiled, hoping it didn’t look too bitter. “Not everyone is lucky enough to fall in love with a suitable alpha.”
“Do you at least want him?”
When Liam didn’t say anything, Jules sat down on the couch beside him and grabbed his hand. “Li, tell me you aren’t doing this because you’re scared of your attraction to Anthony. Tell me that’s not why you—”
Liam snapped, “Of course it is!”
The silence that followed his outburst was deafening.
He buried his face in his hands. “I want him, Jules,” he whispered, barely audibly. “I want my brother. It’s monstrous.” He lifted his head and looked at Jules. “You think that doesn’t justify my decision?”
His brother sighed, his eyes full of conflict. “I still don’t think it’s a good reason to marry a man you don’t love or want—”
“I had sex with him.”
Jules’s eyes went so comically wide Liam would have laughed in any other circumstances.
“You had sex with Terlaine?” he said faintly, with something like hope in his voice.
A hysterical laugh bubbled up in Liam’s throat. “Not with Terlaine.”
Jules shook his head, staring at him in disbelief. “Li…”
His ears hot, Liam forced himself to hold his gaze. “I know,” he whispered hoarsely. “I couldn’t help myself, Jules. I can’t think when he’s close.”
Jules shook his head again, still looking stunned. “I can’t—I can’t believe Anthony would do it!”
“Anthony? That’s what you’re surprised about?” Frankly, Liam was pretty damn offended. “I didn’t force him to put his cock in me.”
Jules pulled a face. “Too much information, Li. Fuck, I don’t even want to imagine the two of you doing… that. He’s my brother! He’s your brother!”
“I’m glad you’re just realizing the horror of the situation,” Liam said flatly, though he couldn’t deny that hearing it said aloud made his stomach clench in revulsion. He turned his face away and crossed his arms over his chest. Gods, what had he been thinking? But then again, he hadn’t been thinking. When Anthony was close, it was like all his common sense died very quickly.
He was a sick person. A freak. An abomination.
“Li,” Jules said softly, wrapping an arm around his stiff shoulders. “Stop that—stop beating yourself up over it. So it happened once—it was a mistake—”