I pull back and meet his eyes, having already come to terms with every last thing he just said. “I know,” I tell him. “This isn’t a game for me. Fuck, the scars on my body should be able to tell you that. I want your father’s head for the terror he’s rained down over the families of my town, over all the innocent lives he’s hurt, over you and your brothers … over me. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to be seen as a joke. I want the whole DeAngelis family to fear the sound of my name, just as they fear yours. I want to be powerful like Gia Moretti, and you’re going to make it happen.”
Roman watches me and I don’t doubt that Levi and Marcus are watching closely too. “You’re sure about this?” he asks. “There’s a big difference between being a tag-along and being a top fucking player. You will never sleep easy again in your life. Do you understand that?”
I nod, remembering the rush I felt as Antonio’s life was taken away, the relief when the boys stepped out of the shadows to deal with Draven Miller, and the fierce joy and exhilaration when they dominate a room. I don’t just want that, I crave it. I need it. This world is going to corrupt me in the worst ways, but I’m already too deep and there’s no turning back now. “I know what I’m getting myself into,” I tell him before glancing back at Marcus and Levi. “I want this. I want to be right there with you guys. I’m done cowering. I want to rise.”
“Alright,” Roman says, tightening his arm around my waist and pulling us both up to our feet. “Then get back to the training room. We have work to do.”
18
Darkness swarms through the Escalade as we fly down the city streets in the dead of night. “Where the hell are we going?” I question, gripping onto the holy shit bar as Roman hurtles over a speed bump like he’s some kind of Formula 1 driver.
Marcus glances across at me, his hand pressed against his chest as though he’s trying to keep his heart from falling right through the hole. He was too stubborn to admit he wasn’t ready to come out tonight. He just had to be here with his brothers, though I see the frustration and pain hidden beneath his eyes. The asshole should be back in his stupid castle with his feet up, madly rubbing one out while he has the place to himself. But business is business and there’s no fucking with that.
Idiot.
“You remember that night we went to the club to meet with our dealer?” Marcus questions.
Darkness floods my soul. “How could I forget? That was the night you guys let Lucas get to me.”
Roman’s hard stare snaps up to the rearview mirror, sending a venomous glare piercing right through to my soul. “Let?” he spits. “You think we let that happen?”
Letting out a heavy groan, I narrow my eyes back at him, making sure he can see my irritation clear as day, despite the darkness surrounding the Escalade. “You’re a bigger idiot than I thought if you think for even one second that I think you allowed it to happen. I was there, remember? I know exactly how it went down. It’s called a joke, Roman. Lighten up.”
If looks could kill ... goddamn.
A smirk stretches over my lips. Nothing in this world makes me feel more alive than stabbing the knife straight through Roman’s strong back and twisting it until he whines like a little baby. Just knowing how deep I am under his skin is my elixir to life. It’s like an obsession I can’t get enough of. But Roman is so much more than a human pin-cushion, and he proved that to me after his father’s visit. No wonder he’s so hard, so closed off and broken. I would be too if I’d suffered the way he had.
It begs the question; how the hell hasn’t he struck out against his father yet? The brothers are notoriously impulsive. They’re reckless and head-strong, yet the patience they have when it comes to their father’s downfall is astronomical.
He holds my stare for longer than I can handle, forcing my eyes back to Marcus. Roman would prefer to drive right off the damn road than to be the first to tap out. “What were you saying?” I question, Roman having left my mind in a complete fog from his relentless, addictive stare.
“I was saying,” Marcus continues, irritation thick in his tone from being disrupted in the first place. “Tonight, we’re checking in with the last guy’s replacement, see if he’s got what it takes to work under us.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
Marcus raises a brow, his eyes glistening with a dark excitement. “Well, I’m sure you remember what happened to the last guy.”