“Can we just …” Roman groans, his frustration getting the better of him as he pauses to let out a breath. “Let’s get this over and done with. There are a lot of basics to cover.”
A seriousness comes over me and I do what I can to leave my issues at the door and look at him as nothing but my new self-defense instructor. I walk deeper into the room and step up onto a soft-fall training mat, stopping directly in front of Roman. I keep my distance, still hesitant to get too close. Though, I had no issues when it was Levi. Perhaps I’m holding onto a little more resentment for Roman than I am for Levi. After all, I had the beginnings of a relationship with Levi before all this shit went down. On some level, I felt like I knew him so much more, though how well can anyone truly know one of the DeAngelis brothers?
“You’re going to have to get closer to me, otherwise this ain’t gonna work.”
I let out a nervous breath and try to hide my shaky hands, but he notices them a shitload faster than I ever could. “I’m not going to hurt you, Empress,” he says, lowering his voice to keep our conversation private from his brothers, trying to hide the fact that deep down inside, he’s not the heartless soldier his father has strived to create. “This isn’t going to be easy. I need to put my hands on you and I will be throwing you down, holding you down, gripping you just like I did that night. You’re going to hate it. You’re going to scream, and you’re going to tell me to back the fuck off, but I’m not going to do that, and it’s going to make you hate me more.”
I shake my head, my determination winning out over everything else. “I won’t,” I insist.
“You will,” he tells me, his tone not wavering as he takes a quick step toward me.
His arm snaps out and his fingers curl around my throat before yanking my body close to his. Fear rattles me and a loud, ear-shattering scream burns my throat like never before. My hands slap out at his strong vice-like hold as the panic tears through me like a bullet. “LET GO OF ME,” I wail, my chest constricting as a sharp lump forms in my throat.
Roman releases me immediately and just stares at me with a knowing gaze, not a hint of that usual smug attitude coming at me as he proves his point in less than a second.
Marcus races in, putting himself between me and Roman as I back up a few steps, the images and memories rushing through my mind like a swarm of murder hornets, destroying everything in their path. I take a shaky breath, trying to calm my racing heart as my hands shake miserably at my sides. “No,” Marcus says, eyeing his brother with disdain before slowly turning toward me. “You’re not ready. I’ll train you instead.”
“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Roman says. “One missed punch to your chest and you’ll go down like a sack of shit. I won’t allow it. She’s training with me. She’s just going to have to wait until she can manage to be near me without having a panic attack.”
My brows furrow as I step around Marcus. “Fuck no. I told you, we’re starting this now. I want to learn.”
Roman shakes his head. “It ain’t gonna happen. What I just did, grabbing you like that is nothing, and you couldn’t bear the feel of my touch. What’s going to happen when I grab you by the ankle and start dragging you through the room? Are you going to piss your pants and start screaming like a bitch, thinking you’re back in that cave? Face the facts, Shayne. You’re not ready.”
I step up closer to him, raising my chin in defiance, the fear of history repeating itself greater than the memory of the past. “I can do this,” I spit, my voice breaking with unease and nervousness as the determination in my eyes shine so much brighter. “Now, train me.”
Roman and Marcus watch me for a long, intense moment before Marcus finally steps away and returns to the side of the room with Levi, both of them watching me all too closely, but they’re not what’s got my attention.
Roman just stands there, his gaze lingering on my hard stare. He steps toward me again and my knees begin to shake, the need to back up racing through me. It was different in his room last night. I knew he wasn’t going to touch me, and damn well knew that he wouldn’t hurt me, but right here, I’ve given him permission to touch me in any way he sees fit and the things he’s going to do to me will most likely replicate those horrendous things he’s already done.