His frown didn’t go away but he eased his large frame into one of her too-small chairs. He looked enormous in her tiny living room. His presence overpowered everything else and she had the instant sensation of not being able to breathe.
He seemed nervous and on edge. Guilt for her earlier unreasonableness ate at her. She’d been a bitch with the way she’d dumped the news on him at his office and then left in a snit.
He dragged a hand through his hair, then glanced her way again. “I know I’m here early, but perhaps you’ll understand my impatience to get this matter settled.”
“Settled?” she echoed. She eased down onto the edge of the couch. She should be offering him a drink or…something…but somehow it seemed silly because neither of them cared for observing social niceties at the moment. “I don’t see that this will ever quite be settled. It’s not something to be settled.”
He sat forward, his body language tense and impatient. He dragged a hand through his hair several more times as he seemed to be trying to figure out what to say next.
“I’d like to know your plans.”
She gave a jerky laugh, then closed her eyes because she was teetering on full-on bitch mode again. “You and me both. You have to give me a break, Cam. I only just found out this morning.”
“Do you want the baby?”
“Yes!” she said fiercely. “Yes,” she said again, calmer this time. “I’ve battled that question constantly over the past weeks, and no matter how stressed, worried, panicky or dismayed I may currently be, I do want this baby.”
Was it relief that flashed in his eyes? It was hard to tell because the rest of him was so intense.
She rose, unable to sit still another moment. She paced away, keeping her back to him for a long second before finally turning to face him once more.
“I don’t have a plan, Cam. Does anyone ever plan for something like this? Obviously I’m going to need your help. I don’t have health insurance.”
“You’ll have the best available care,” he cut in.
Her shoulders sagged forward. “Thank you. I’ve been trying to get my business started and health insurance is one of those pesky little details I haven’t sorted out yet.”
His expression was somber, his eyes serious. “You won’t have to worry there. I’ll want you and our child to be well taken care of.”
Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He seemed to be taking it all very well, and moreover he was being exceedingly accommodating.
“I don’t expect you to support me,” she said quickly. “The health care is more than generous. I have some savings. It’s enough until I get my business up and running.”
She paced back and forth as she assimilated her thoughts. The very last thing she wanted was for him to think she expected a gravy train since she was having his child. There’d be too many damn strings attached anyway.
“Surely we can work out a suitable arrangement between us.” She looked up then to find him staring at her. “Will you want to be…involved? With the pregnancy, I mean. Some men aren’t interested. Well, Devon is with Ashley, but I know some have no desire to go to things like doctor’s appointments and stuff like that, and it’s okay, really.”
She was babbling endlessly and the strange thing was, the more she talked, the angrier he seemed to get. His brows drew together until his face resembled a thundercloud.
“Just wait a damn minute. I will be involved. I have the right to be involved in this pregnancy.”
She blinked. “Well, okay. I wasn’t saying you couldn’t be. Just that I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be.”
His expression grew fiercer. “You thought wrong.”
“Cam, look. I’m not too sure what I’m doing here. I’m trying to be civilized and cooperative, but you’ve got to help me. You’re sitting there glaring at me and I have to tell you I’m this close to completely losing my mind.”
The words rushed out in shaky succession and her hands trembled as she clasped them in front of her.
Cam cursed softly and rose to stand in front of her. “Sit down. Please.”
She hesitated only a moment before allowing him to guide her back to the couch. He curled his hand around hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Now, here’s what I think we should do. First we’ll get you to a doctor so that we can make sure you’re in good health and everything is okay with your pregnancy.”
She nodded. That much she could deal with. Going to the doctor was a logical first step. At least one of them was capable of rational thought.
“Then I think we should get married.”
So much for rational thought.
Before she could ask him if he’d lost his mind he put a finger to her lips. Then he heaved in a deep breath almost as if he was having to convince himself every bit as much as her.
“Just hear me out. We can get married, have separate living arrangements—or rather, quarters. My house is large enough for us to share without tripping over each other. You’d have your space. You’d be provided for. But most important, I could be assured that you and the baby were safe.”
She gaped incredulously at him. “Are you insane?”
His eyes narrowed.
She yanked her hand away from his and pushed upward to her feet. The room was too small. She felt caged and like her world was spiraling out of control.
“Don’t be unreasonable, Pippa.”
She swung around. “Unreasonable? Cam, three weeks ago you told me in no uncertain terms that you wouldn’t call me, that this was just sex and you didn’t do commitment. Well, guess what. Marriage is a big freaking commitment!”
“I wasn’t suggesting we have a relationship,” he said tightly.
Oh, this was just going from bad to worse.
“What are you suggesting, then?”
“A mutually beneficial partnership. You and our child will be well provided for and I’ll have peace of mind.”
Her brow furrowed. “Peace of mind for what, Cam? I feel like there’s something huge I’m missing here. You keep harping on wanting to be sure me and the baby are safe. That we’re provided for. Look, I appreciate that. More than you could possibly know. It touches me that you aren’t turning the other way. I just don’t understand your adamancy here. What are you so afraid of?”
Silence fell. So pronounced that she could hear them both breathing. Pain flashed in his eyes and his lips tightened. Then as if someone had flipped a switch, his face became impassive. His expression gave nothing away.
“Isn’t that enough?” he finally asked. “That I’m willing to step up here? That I want you and our child to have the protection of my name and everything else that goes with it?”
Slowly she shook her head. “No. It’s not enough.”
“It was damn well good enough for you three weeks ago,” he growled. “You didn’t want anything but a night of sex, either, so don’t make me out to be the bastard here.”
“This isn’t about you!”
It came out as a near shriek and she put both hands to the sides of her head in frustration. For a moment she stood there, eyes closed, her nostrils flaring as her breaths blew out in angry puffs.
When she reopened her eyes, Cam was staring at her, concern etched into his brow. “Pippa…” he began.
“No, just listen to me for a minute. Please,” she begged. “You made yourself clear before we went to bed together. You were honest. I was honest. But things have changed in a huge, huge way. What I wanted then isn’t what I want now. And no, I’m not asking you for anything. I need you to understand that. I’ve changed. My priorities have changed.
“You were right. That night I wanted sex. With you. I was attracted to you. I wasn’t looking for more. A relationship isn’t what I want or need at this stage of my life. But I’m pregnant now. And there is no way I’m going to shortchange myself or my child by entering into a cold, loveless relationship for the purpose of convenience. When I get married, it’s going to be to a man
who loves me and is willing to be a full-time father to my child. I need those things. Especially now.”
“I can’t give you that,” Cam said flatly.
“And I’ll never settle for anything less,” she said quietly.
He shot off the couch and turned away, his hands clenched into tight fists at his side. “I’ll be damned if I watch you marry another man when you’re pregnant with my child.” He turned back around, raw anger lighting his eyes. “I have a right to fatherhood, Pippa. You can’t take that from me. I won’t allow it. I’ll fight you with every breath I have.”
Some of her frustration fled. She took a step forward and put her hand gently on his arm. He flinched underneath her touch but she curled her fingers tightly into his skin. There was something terrible and painful in his eyes. Something that knotted her stomach and made her want to soothe some of the torment she sensed within him.
“I’d never take that from you, Cam,” she said softly. “I’m merely giving you reasons why I won’t settle for a relationship like the one you’re offering.”
“I want my child safe,” he gritted out.
“So do I. I love this baby already. I’ve lain awake at night imagining its future. I’d never do anything that wasn’t in his or her best interests.”