“I thought you felt the same way,” I say, not upset, but confused.
“On the train… When we...” I start but stop. She steps away from me and I spot her gnawing at her lip.
I won’t try to convince her of anything she doesn’t want.
She’s quiet for so long, but I don’t budge. I stand by her, waiting for her to tell me what it is she really wants.
How she really feels.
“What do you see when you look at me, Michael?” she asks suddenly. Breaking the silence with an edge to her voice.
I feel my shoulders sagging a little, but I don’t interrupt her or talk over her.
I’d rather she told me exactly how she feels than just play-act.
If it’s not what I wanna hear, I can take it.
Or so I tell myself.
“Do you see all this? The image in your head or do you see me?” she asks me further, opening her arms wide and looking around us.
All I want is her no matter where that may be. A big house or a hut I don’t care as long as I have her.
She must see something in my eyes because her features soften, and she walks over to me again. I feel relieved when I can hold her in my arms again.
“I see you. I want you. All this, as you put it,” I say, using my eyes to circle the huge space around us, “is just a place to stay. It may as well be comfortable.”
She melts into me at my words.
“I just don’t get what it is you see in me,” she murmurs, sounding like someone who is used to things not working out for her.
“I’ve told you, you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. And I think you know what you do to me…” I remind her, pressing the bulge in my pants into her and making her smile before she playfully punches at my chest.
“Don’t change the subject,” she tries to protest, but it’s no use.
Once I have a hold of her long enough and she can see, feel and hear from me just how much she means to me, her mind shifts focus back to better things.
“Sorry…” she whispers. I stroke her hair back, holding her face in my hands as she looks up at me.
“You never have to say that to me,” I assure her. “I love you, Natasha. Every second, every hour. Every day.” I remind us both.
“We can go somewhere else if you don’t like it here. I wasn’t trying to make you feel out of place by coming here.”
She looks down and then around again.
“It is pretty amazing,” she says with a smile.
“Wait until you see the bathrooms,” I tell her with a grin, and in no time I’ve run us a bath in one of the monstrous bathtubs
From the giant floor to ceiling windows, we have the perfect view of the ocean, framed by the ornate gardens.
“No one can see?” she asks, and apart from not seeing anyone or anything that could, I let her know that no one can see in.
“The windows are tinted on the outside. We can see out but no one else can see in,” I assure her.
I assure myself because there’s no way I’d have Natasha on show like that for anyone but me.
She’s mine and I intend to keep it that way.
“Who’d have thought there was a tub big enough to fit both of us,” she says, peeking at me over a towel with a grin.
“I mean because you’re so big,” she adds, making me smile because she’s right.
Next to me, Natasha is tiny and it’s the main reason I liked this place, the big shower. Big bath and big bed.
We soak in the tub until I can feel my toes wrinkling and suggest we order something in, maybe go for a walk down by the beach while we wait for the food.
She nods eagerly but gives a quizzical look at my constant hard on as I lift myself out of the tub.
“What are we gonna do about that?” she asks, her eyes wide, her body shivering suddenly.
“Oh, you’ll be helping out with that after dinner,” I grin, smiling wider when she nods harder, taking a sharp breath in.
“I think I can handle that,” she says knowingly, purring as I help her out of the tub and into a huge towel to dry off with.
Knowing she’s mine now. That I have her, I can watch her dry and then dress without throwing myself at her.
Not too much anyway.
It takes a good half hour to dry and change before we’re heading down to the beach after I’ve ordered us both some sushi.
From memory, the local place is so busy that it’s a good hour before delivery, so I tell myself we have plenty of time.