Smiling to myself when I see her eyes are closed, an almost sleeping smile on her lips.
And only three more words I think I ever want to say to her catapulting to the front of my mind.
Don’t.
It’s way too early for that.
I want to say it. I do. But I don’t even know how to say those words.
Never heard them myself, not growing up or as an adult. And definitely never said them to anyone.
But I do.
I...
I can feel myself falling for her harder than anything or anyone in my life, that’s for sure.
Chapter Eleven
Natasha
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to just how strong Michael is.
I’m still getting used to his sheer size, but when he picks me up, it’s like he doesn’t even use any strength.
It’s as if holding me is as easy for him as carrying a sweater.
“We’ll miss our train,” I remind him. Noticing just how close we’re getting to these deep, dark woods once I finally open my eyes.
Michael stops, and looking down he assures me we have plenty of time.
“What about your mom? Suzanna too?” he asks, and I twist my mouth, feeling my face contort as I consider my options.
Not really liking any of them.
“I’ll miss seeing mom off. Dad won’t even turn up on time if even at all, and Suzanna will hate me until I beg her forgiveness. Then she’ll forget all about it until she sees you again,” I tell him point-blank.
I’m predictable, but my family and best friend?
I can read them in a foreign language underwater with my eyes shut.
Michael chuckles quietly, turning with me in his arms to face the station and then twists his body back to the forest.
In one day I’ve seen the best and the worst of the few people I’m close with.
Making me wonder just how much they really care for me and how much they care about their version of what I should be to them.
What I should do. Who I should see.
Four years at college has changed me, sure.
But an hour alone with Michael has changed me more than anything.
Changed the direction of my whole life, I can feel it without so much doubt now.
“I’ll have to stay with Suzanna tonight,” I tell him. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to think straight knowing she was on the same train hating on both of us for being together like this.
I feel Michael’s disapproval before I hear a low grumble from his chest.
He tenses up a little, sniffing as he looks into the woods frowning.
“I’ll go wherever you go,” I tell him. Meaning it.
Meaning every word. “Just tonight, I think Suzanna needs me more,” I say.
Almost kicking myself that I’m choosing her over Michael as a bunk buddy for the night.
“I guess we can’t have her with us, and she is a little unpredictable,” he finally says, having thought it over.
I know I can’t have it both ways, being with Michael and Suzanna on the train, but if I can have some more time with her I should be able to sway her into seeing how amazing Michael really is instead of just being such an asshole to him every time she sees him.
“I want you with me, in my bed,” he tells me, looking down at me with his dark eyes catching the silver of the moon.
Or is that just how clear and bright they always are?
“I won’t sleep a wink, ya know,” he adds, his lips flat in resignation.
Making his first sacrifice, and not just for Suzanna’s benefit.
He’s doing it for me, I can tell.
“Thank you,” I tell him, leaning forward, feeling all my weight taken by his arms without him even flinching before I peck his cheek.
“What was that for?” he asks, pretending to be slightly miffed still, but I know he’s already thinking of ways he can keep me close.
I expect he’ll be booking up every cabin on the sleeper for the night if he has to, just to make sure no one else gets near me.
“It’s just for tonight,” I tell him.
Tell myself.
Somehow, and I’m still not exactly sure just how I know, but after this train ride’s over, so is my old life.
Suzanna will live. She’ll survive the imaginary trauma of me being whisked away by the very man she dared me to kiss.
“We could head into those woods for a while,” Michael growls, nuzzling my cheek with his, making me curl my fingers deeper into his shoulders through his shirt.
The train’s horn sounds loudly again, this time followed by a series of shrill whistles.
Michael mutters a curse under his breath, saying he was sure we had a full half-hour according to the timetable.
I feel a moment of mild panic, which disappears as soon as we start moving. As soon as I’m aware of how close I am to Michael again.