Yeah, it’s possible I’m feeling a bit cocky.
I’m ready to look in this asshole’s face and make him eat the words he said to me years ago. Then I’ll get that fucking thumb drive.
13
A flower simply blooms.
Lara
Fear is a fist in my chest.
Closing my eyes, I sing the jazz standard while Roland accompanies me on the piano, and the vibrations of the song, the melody in my heart, my lungs, my mind, take me away from this place.
They always do.
Opening my eyes, I go straight into one of Roland’s songs. His eyes are fixed on the keys as he plays, and he listens, following my lead, his head tilted to the side.
I suppose this is his dream as well. When we were in the old theater, he talked about writing songs for me to sing. He convinced Gavin to let him compose an entirely new show with me as the lead…
Only it never happened.
Until now.
That old place burned to the ground and those players are all gone, but his songs remain. We’re here in front of a live audience, and they’re enraptured. I’m his mouthpiece, and the lyrics are beautiful, the bridge, the refrain, the verses leading into the chorus.
For so long, I only thought about my lost dream, the chance that never appeared. Or the chance that appeared only to be so quickly taken away. Now I look at him and wonder what dreams he left behind along the way.
You’re in my arms and it feels so right.
But it’s simply an illusion.
We harmonize on the an as always, holding it out for a bit longer, a dotted quarter note. He brings the night to a close with the final measures, a sweeping denouement of harmonious chords.
The audience cheers, our tip jar overflows, and it’s after two. Fear slams into me again, and I’m ready to go, to get to the house. Mark said he would be there…
Evie and Armand took Jillian home a while ago. Mark left for his errand in Algiers before that. It’s taken all my strength to focus on the songs and trust him. He knows what he’s doing. He’s been a police detective for so long, I’m sure he has encountered danger before, confronted criminals. I’ve seen him beat the shit out of guys—Eddie, for starters, this afternoon.
He’s strong and he’s trained and he’s ready.
Still…
Sitting on the piano bench with my back to Roland as he makes his final notes on the score and collects our money, I think about the broken pulley and Eddie confessing he did it all for Vanessa.
“Vanessa,” I say to myself, and Roland glances over his shoulder.
“Wanted to take your place,” he says as if completing my thought. “Can you imagine her speaking the words? Not even singing them?” He does a little shiver then seems to notice my worried expression. “What’s wrong? Why do you bring her up?”
“I was thinking about her getting Eddie to break that pulley. I could have died.” It was so long ago, but I remember that terror. “Mark saved my life, but I honestly thought that belt had cut me in half.”
“It’s a wonder you didn’t have internal injuries.”
“I didn’t have any friends in that place.” Gazing around the near-empty bar, I think about this type of work and how competitive it can be.
“You had me, Evie, Molly… Rosa went back and forth in her loyalties.” He tilts his head side to side. “Bea wasn’t so bad, and Tanya could be a friend when she wasn’t wasted.”
“And Mark,” I say softly.
My chest aches with longing.