Still, when he begins, I join him on the harmony.
You’re in my arms, and it feels so right…
But it’s simply aaahhhn illusion.
“You know, sometimes I wondered if you wrote those words for Mark and me.”
“It was some of my best work.” He leans back on the couch, sliding his hands down his thighs. “I don’t miss the pressure or the darkness, but I do miss the creative freedom.”
“You can’t do what you want now?”
“I can. I just don’t have anyone to do it with.”
Jillian finishes her bottle, and I put it on the table, positioning her on my shoulder so I can burp her. He watches, and I can tell what he’s thinking.
“Sing with me tonight.”
I’m shaking my head no before he even finishes speaking. “I have to pack, and I want to spend my last night with her.”
“Jilly will be asleep before I even leave for the bar.” He takes her out of my arms. “We’ll do the old songs. I’ve missed your voice.”
“Give her back to me.”
“You’re not burping her right.” He puts her on his shoulder and starts patting her little back. She burps immediately. “See?”
“No!” I start to laugh. “I got her warmed up for you.”
“She just loves Uncle Roland best.”
It feels good to laugh, to be here with him fussing over my daughter. “Let me hold her now.”
“She’s very comfortable.”
“Here.” I hold out my hands.
“You’re going to make her cry.”
Shaking my head, I get off the couch and carry the bottle to the kitchen. “I’ll text Molly later and let her know. She’ll probably want to join us.”
“I’ll buy her a drink.”
“We’ll stay until Jilly starts to cry.”
“Baby in a bar. Welcome home, cher.”
Cutting my eyes at him, I gaze out the window at the rising sun. “Nobody says cher anymore. And it’s not a bar. It’s a musical venue.”
“So you’ll do it?” He watches me calmly, knowing I’ll say yes.
“I’ll do it, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“I never expected it would.”
Tomorrow we leave here on the quest for the last old man who thinks he got away with it. Maybe I do care too much about this one.
3
Never look back to what broke you.