There was a long silence before he finally said, “You’re going with me. I’m not just doing this for a child that may or may not be mine.”
“Why are you doing it then?” she shot back.
He ignored her and stared out the windshield, his fingers curled tight around the steering wheel.
When they arrived at her apartment, she got out of the car before he could come around for her and she hurried up the stairs. She could hear him behind her and when she tried to shut the door, he put up his hand and pushed his way inside.
“We have to talk, Kelly.”
She whirled around. “Yes, we do. You said we’d talk about the check. You were certainly willing to throw it at me when you called me a whore. I want it now and I don’t give a damn what you think about the fact I’m taking it.”
“I’m no longer offering it.”
“Oh, nice,” she said sarcastically.
“I want you to come back to New York with me.”
Her mouth fell open. “You’re insane. Why would I go anywhere with you?”
“Because you need me.”
Pain speared through her chest, robbing her of breath. “I needed you before.”
She turned away before he could respond. She framed her belly with her palms and tried not to panic.
Behind her Ryan was silent. Disturbingly so. Then when he spoke there was an odd, strained tone to his voice.
“I’m going out to have your prescriptions filled. I’ll pick us up something to eat. When I get back, I want you to be packed.”
His footsteps were heavy on the floor and then the door shut quietly behind him.
She sank onto the tattered recliner and massaged her forehead. Two days ago she had a plan. A good plan. She had everything mapped out. Today she had no job, her health was suspect and her ex-fiancé was pressuring her to go back to New York with him.
It made her cringe, but she realized she was going to have to call her mother. She’d once sworn she’d have to be dying to ever ask her mom for anything, but right now that seemed the lesser of two evils.
“What doesn’t kill me will make me stronger, right?” she muttered.
Lame. So lame.
Still, she picked up the phone, drew in a deep breath and called the last number she had for her mother. It was entirely possible Deidre no longer lived in Florida. Who really knew with her?
She’d washed her hands of Kelly the minute Kelly graduated high school and all but shoved her out of the house so she could move in her latest boyfriend. She’d informed Kelly that she’d done her duty and devoted eighteen of the best years of her life—years she’d never get back—to raising a child she’d never intended to have.
Good luck, see you later, don’t ask me for anything else.
Yeah.
Kelly was about to hang up when her mother’s voice came over the line.
“Mom?” Kelly said hesitantly.
There was a long pause. “Kelly? Is that you?”
“Yeah, Mom it’s me. Look, I need your help. I need a place to stay. I’m…pregnant.”
There was an even longer pause this time. “Where’s that rich boyfriend of yours?”
“I’m not with him any longer,” Kelly said in a quiet voice. “I’m in Houston. I lost my job and I’m not well. The doctor is worried about the baby. I just need a place to stay for a little while. Until I get back on my feet.”
Her mother sighed. “I can’t help you, Kelly. Richard and I are busy and we just don’t have the space.”
Hurt crowded into her heart. She’d known this was pointless, but somehow she’d hoped… Quietly, she turned the phone off without saying anything else. What was there to say anyway?
Her mother had never been more than a resigned babysitter.
Kelly smoothed a hand over her belly. “I love you,” she whispered. “I’ll never begrudge a single moment I have with you.”
She leaned back in the recliner and stared up at the ceiling, hating the helplessness that gripped her. She closed her eyes in weary resignation. She was exhausted.
The next thing she knew she was being shaken awake. She yanked her eyes open to see Ryan standing over her, a plate and glass of water in his hands.
“I brought you Thai,” he said gruffly.
Her favorite. She was surprised he remembered. She struggled to sit upright and then took the plate and glass from him.
He pulled a chair from the kitchen and sat across from her as she ate. His scrutiny made her uncomfortable and so she focused on her food, not looking up.
“Ignoring me isn’t going to help.”
She paused, set her fork down and then leveled a stare at him. “What do you want, Ryan? I still don’t understand why you’re here. Or why you want me to go back to New York with you. Or why you care, period. You let me know in no uncertain terms that you wanted me as far out of your life as possible.”
“You’re pregnant. You need help. Isn’t that enough?”
“No, it’s not!”
His jaw tightened. “Let’s put it this way. You and I have a lot to work out, including whether or not you’re pregnant with my child. You need help that I can provide. You need someone to take care of you. You need top-notch medical care. I can give you all of those things.”
She thrust a hand into her hair and leaned back against the recliner. He immediately leaned forward, slipping from his chair and going to his knees in front of her. He touched her arm, tentatively, as if afraid she’d recoil.
“Come with me, Kelly. You know this has to be worked out between us. You have to think about the baby.”
She held up a hand, furious that he’d try to manipulate her with guilt. But he caught her hand and lowered it, and then ruthlessly pressed his advantage.
“You can’t work. The doctor said you have to rest or you risk the health of your child as well as your own. If you can’t accept my help for yourself, at least do it for your baby. Or is your pride more important than his or her welfare?”
“And what are we supposed to do when we get to New York, Ryan?”
“You’re going to rest and we’re going to figure out our future.”
Her stomach lurched. It sounded so ominous. Their future.
She was a fool to agree. She’d be a fool not to agree.
She was willing to swallow her pride and take the check. Shouldn’t she be willing to accept his help for her baby’s sake? For their baby’s sake?
“Kelly?”
“I’ll go,” she said in a low voice.
Triumph flashed in his eyes. “Then let’s get you packed and get the hell out of here.”
Four
When Kelly woke the next morning, she struggled to make sense of her surroundings. Then she remembered. She was in New York—with Ryan.
In a matter of hours, Ryan had had her packed and hustled to the airport. They’d landed at LaGuardia close to midnight and he’d ushered her into a waiting car.
By the time they’d arrived at his apartment, she was dead on her feet. Once inside, she took her one bag and headed toward the guest room. The aching familiarity of the apartment—an apartment that used to be hers—threatene
d to unhinge her. It even smelled the same—a mixture of leather and raw masculinity. She’d never tried to change that. It had reminded her too much of Ryan, and she hadn’t wanted to remove it.
Down the hall was the bedroom where she and Ryan had made love countless times. It was where their child was conceived and where her life had been irrevocably altered.
Once again, she’d been reminded of how much of an idiot she was to come back here.
But this morning she felt resigned to her fate. After a quick shower, she dressed and padded into the living room where Ryan was already sitting typing on a laptop. He looked up when he heard her come in.
“Breakfast is ready. I was waiting on you to eat.”
Wordlessly, she followed him into the kitchen where she saw a table set for two. Taking a platter off the warmer, he carried it over to the table and began spooning healthy portions of eggs, toast and ham onto their plates.
As she sat down, she was forced to admit that she felt better than she had in weeks. She had certainly gotten more rest in the past twenty-four hours than she had in a long time.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked as he took a seat across from her.
“Fine,” she mumbled around a mouthful of egg. Her appetite was coming back and she concentrated on the delicious food in front of her.
This whole thing was weird. The ultrapoliteness. The cozy breakfast for two. It was so awkward that she wanted to go back to the bedroom and crawl back into bed.
After a long silence, Ryan spoke up. “I’ve made arrangements to work out of the apartment for the time being.”
She stopped chewing then swallowed the food in her mouth. “Why?” she asked flatly.
“I would think the answer is obvious.”
“This isn’t going to work, Ryan. I can’t stay here with you hanging over my shoulder all the time. Go to work. Do whatever it is you normally do, and just leave me alone.”
His lips thinned and then he got up and walked away without another word.
She stared down at her plate, furious that he acted like the victim. As if she was some horrible, ungrateful bitch.
Fury and aching sadness knotted her throat. How could she ever get past what he’d done to her? Maybe he was just as determined not to forgive her for her supposed transgressions, but Kelly was the innocent one in this whole sordid mess. Ryan had turned his back on her. He didn’t seem to want to acknowledge that little fact.
She fiddled with her remaining food, pushing it around her plate until restlessness forced her to her feet.
Wandering aimlessly back into the living room, she stopped in front of the large window offering a view of the Manhattan skyline.
“You shouldn’t be on your feet,” Ryan said from behind her.
She sighed and turned around, shocked to see him in just a towel. She swiveled back to the window, but the image burned in her eyes. His broad chest rippled with well-defined muscles and his lean abdomen was sculpted like a fine work of art. She used to spend hours exploring the dips and curves of his body.
“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you,” he said in a low voice. “I guess I didn’t give it a thought considering our past relationship.”