“Patrick said he wanted to stay out of it and let you decide what to do about your marriage. He was hoping you’d come to him once it was over—if it was over.”
I shook my head, my voice growing thick. “When the man you love, the man you married, attempts to rape you, then beats you when you try to defend yourself, it makes it impossible to tolerate much from anyone. Ever again.”
“Oh, Mel,” Elaine crossed the kitchen to me, tears in her eyes. “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” She pulled me into a hug, and I held her waist. For a moment we were both silent, remembering that horrible night, how it changed everything. Including me.
“I just care about you,” she said, wiping her nose. “And I know Derek’s sorry. He’s such a good guy.”
“Let’s have some dinner,” I said, going to the bag. I pulled out the box of ziti while she began cutting a pepper.
“Patrick wants to relocate,” she said quietly, sliding the ingredients into the waiting sauté pan. “Since their work is primarily online, he’d like to move here.”
My lips pressed together as I filled a pot with water and put it on the stove to boil the pasta. Once it was going, I picked up my glass again and leaned against the counter. “Are you two that serious?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. I mean, it’s hard to know when we’re separated. Distance makes everything so emotionally charged. It’s like the first time every time.”
“Sounds like you two are enjoying some hot reunions.”
Elaine blushed then laughed. “It almost makes me want to maintain the distance.”
The water was boiling, and I turned to dump in the ziti. For a few moments, I watched it, poking the dry
noodles with a wooden spoon. My mind drifted to the time I’d had with Derek. Had our intensity all been a product of some feeling of urgency?
He had known the whole time I was married, but he claimed he didn’t know how bad my situation was. Was he afraid I wouldn’t leave Sloan? Did he think I might decide to stay with my husband?
I shook my head. It didn’t matter.
“So the marketing business is booming?” My friend was finished chopping and handed off the raw ingredients to me before hopping up on the counter.
I took her handiwork and pushed it all into the pan, cranking up the heat and stirring rapidly. “It is, and thanks to you, Saint Samuel’s has become one of my most loyal clients.”
“Good. They need the help.” Her little school was trying to grow but struggling against new, free charter options. “Have you heard any more from… him?”
I sighed and turned the heat down to let everything simmer. “Sloan tried giving me trouble over the divorce proceedings, but I faxed those emails to Thomas. He said I’d have my final paperwork by the end of next week.”
“He’s such a prick,” Elaine growled, taking a sip of her wine. “I still can’t believe you didn’t take him for everything he has.”
“I don’t want anything he has,” I said, sipping my own wine. “He’s a bastard fucknut, and I hope I never see him again.”
“A no-nut sphincter taster.”
I snorted and caught my nose with my hand. “A what?!” I cried.
Elaine split into laughter. “I don’t know. It’s something my brother used to say.”
“Come on,” I pulled her off the counter. “Let’s go eat.”
Elaine stayed until after midnight. We enjoyed the spicy ziti and peppers with our red wine and finished it all off with coffee and tiramisu. I asked her to spend the night, but she insisted she had to get up early for a teacher’s meeting the next day. So we hugged each other, and she started back for the mainland.
After she left, I walked down to the shore again—this time using my flashlight. It was a secluded area, and that only increased my risk of getting lost in the dark. But I was careful, and I was learning my way around my new landscape.
At the water’s edge, I sat and reconsidered everything Elaine and Patrick had told me. I thought about Derek losing his wife, and the pain he must have felt to spend six years alone. What about me had brought him out of that isolation? Did he connect to a shared sense of loss? Was I able to help him find his way back from that sadness? Could he help me?
I thought about getting away from Sloan. Once the final divorce papers were in, I’d be free and I could truly recover from the disappointment and ultimately the trauma that had been my married life. After that, I could think about maybe talking to people and perhaps giving certain people second chances. If those people were still interested.
Who knew, perhaps it was possible the road to anywhere could turn into a road to somewhere. For both of us.
Chapter 17 – Finally Over