We’d gone too far, and it was my fault. I had wanted to ask questions. I wanted to know everything about him. But I’d forgotten I couldn’t. No matter how my heart craved knowing him, what we were doing couldn’t last beyond this week. When I left this place, I returned to everything I was pretending didn’t exist, and that was no place for him.
The thought pressed on my mind, threatening to spoil our private escape. So I lowered my hand and moved up to kiss him, to take us back to what we were able to share. My hands cupped his cheeks, and his fingers that had been tracing lines on my skin began massaging, moving lower. I rolled onto my back, tugging his shoulders as I did. He readily complied, rising above me, deepening our kiss.
My hands moved from his shoulders, down his arms, finding his hard stomach. His lips pressed mine apart as his tongue swept inside to curl around mine. My legs opened automatically, allowing him between them, and in a breath, he pushed inside me, hard and full. We hadn’t done much foreplay, and we’d only just come down from our last shattering climax. But it didn’t matter. I was already wet. The little we had shared deepened my desire for him, and the fullness of him pushing into me, combined with his mouth covering mine, moving to my jaw, lightly nibbling on my neck, sent heat shimmering down my legs. My insides bonded to him, melted into him, wrapped around him, holding him to me. But I couldn’t name what I was feeling.
Never in my life had I dreamed I would enjoy being with someone like him so much, and now I couldn’t imagine having anyone else in my bed. He was enormous over me—I was only five four, almost a whole foot shorter and just at 120 pounds—and I knew I’d never be satisfied with anything less again.
“You’re so quiet,” he whispered against my ear before kissing it, still rocking into me slowly.
I was holding him, loving the feel of his fullness sliding in and out of me. He kissed my neck again, and I wrapped my arms tighter over his shoulders. I never wanted to let him go.
“Mmm,” I breathed. “It’s even good slow.”
His hands moved to my buttocks and together we rolled over so that I was on top. But I stayed with my torso pressed against his, kissing his mouth, kissing a trail down his neck to his chest.
A low groan vibrated through his upper body, and I sped up my rocking. Instantly, the friction triggered my climb, and I increased the pace. I sat up fully then, bucking my hips against his
pelvis as he watched me. My dark curls spilling all around me.
“Fuck, Mel,” he gasped. “You’re so hot. I’m fucking about to come again.”
He gripped my butt, easily lifting me up and down and he seemed to grow larger. I was moaning now as the pressure built in my legs, tightened through my lower abdomen.
“Fuck,” he murmured again, increasing the speed as he lifted me, slamming me back down against his hips. “I can’t hold it.”
I felt him shoot off and instantly my orgasm exploded through my legs. He was still lifting me up and down, and I collapsed forward, pulsing in his arms. He gently stopped lifting me and held me as we rolled back to him on top, still inside me.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, lifting up and fixing his blue eyes on mine. “I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t have a chance to prepare.”
For a moment, I didn’t want to move. The sensations humming under my skin were so strong, so sensual. My eyes slowly opened, and I studied his beautiful face, tracing a finger over his dark brow, thinking how fantastically our bodies worked together. I had a hard time wrapping my mind around it.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I’m still on the pill.”
The dark brows I’d just caressed drew together. “Sounds like I had a lucky slip.”
A tiny laugh slipped out with my exhale. He had no idea. “You could say that.”
“When I told you that first night I was clean, I was being honest,” he said, the powerful hands that were so strong to lift me—and probably anything else—gently traveled up my body, smoothing back my hair. “It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone, and last time I checked, I was all clear.”
I nodded. “I’ve never done anything like this before,” I whispered. “But I’ve had a reason to keep up with things. You’re safe with me.”
He lowered his face to gently kiss me, and right then it was inescapable. The seemingly endless kiss he pressed, soft lips lingering against mine, tongue lightly touching my tongue, sealed it for me. He was everything I wanted. He was safe with me, I felt safe with him, and I wanted him to hold me forever so badly.
But in that simple acknowledgment, my heart sank in my chest. This blissful paradise we were sharing, our strange arrangement, was drowned by my dismal reality. I was not one he could hold.
Chapter 7 – What I’d Give You
Elaine and Patrick met us for dinner in the hotel restaurant. They were beaming like blissed-out honeymooners and seemed unable to stop touching each other in little ways, laughing easily and holding hands. I figured they’d spent the day doing at least a little of what Derek and I’d shared, and I wished I was free to look at him that way, to share my passion for him so overtly.
Everything in me was falling in love with Derek, but that didn’t change a single thing about my situation. About my unavailability. Add to that, he hadn’t said anything to indicate he wanted more than our original week. It felt like he might want more, every time we were together I was sure his feelings were growing as intensely as mine, but he hadn’t said anything to confirm it.
Following our last round this afternoon, I’d fallen asleep in his arms and vaguely remembered waking as he slid from my side, lightly kissing my head and whispering that he’d see me at dinner. I’d continued sleeping another hour before I’d risen to shower.
Tonight, I wore a short, black dress with thin spaghetti straps. A sterling silver cuff bracelet was on my wrist and large silver hoop earrings were the extent of my accessorizing. As always, Derek smiled, clearly pleased with my appearance. The three were already sharing a bottle of wine when I joined them, Derek stood to help me in my chair.
“You look beautiful,” he said softly, his breath whispering over my shoulder, causing a shiver to tingle through me.
Neither Elaine nor Patrick even noticed, and I was pretty sure they were oblivious to the connection between their dinner mates. All they were focused on was the growing connection between the two of them.