He shakes his head. “I’ve got to get home and make sure all my shit’s okay.”
I’m frustrated by this, but he’s a grown-ass man. I can’t force him to spend the night with me. “I’m taking you home, and you’re going to stay there. Taron’s picking you up in the morning for the picnic.”
He nods, looking ahead of us at the pavement. I wish I could take his keys. I wish he hadn’t done that line of blow. At least, I guess that’s what he did. Who the hell knows?
“Are you going to be alone forever?” He looks over at me, and I pull back.
“While we’re on the subject.”
“You’re never with anyone. I can’t remember the last time you were with a woman.”
He wasn’t watching last night.
Images of Raquel flicker through my mind. I see her pretty smile, her bright eyes. I remember the feeling of her in my arms. I wanted to kiss her so much last night. I wonder if I’ll be strong enough to resist her next time… If there’s a next time.
I think of how smart she is, how strong. She’s supporting herself and her sister now. I wonder if I could take care of her, make things right. I wonder if she’d let me…
Shaking these thoughts away, I focus on the road. We drive the few blocks away from downtown to the high-rise where he lives. Leaving the car at the curb, I walk him inside and make sure he gets on the elevator.
“Taron will be here at ten.”
He waves at me and the doors close. I wait as the numbers rise until he’s at the top. I wait a few minutes longer until I’m satisfied he’s in for the night. I’m dead tired.
Driving home, I know it would be wrong to bring anyone into this life.
This fighting isn’t going to stop. These nightmares don’t end. Marley’s never gotten over what happened in that Mexico jungle. Taron still carries the scars. We all do.
But I won’t let us go down. I won’t lose my men. We have to find a way to live with the past and keep going. Knowing our reality fuels my drive and keeps me arm’s length from anybody who might be hurt by us…
I have to focus on closing this deal, bringing in this windfall.
I owe it to them. I owe it to me, and we’re going to get it.
9
Raquel
Sandra unfolds metal lawn chairs and arranges them under sprawling oak trees. “It’s going to be hot as the devil’s backside by noon.”
I do not think about Patton’s sexy ass when she says this.
Okay, I do, and I swallow a laugh.
“What?” She grins at me, and I shrug.
“That’s hot.” Saying that makes me want to laugh more, so I change the subject. “What are we going to do out here? Is there an agenda or anything?”
“Oh, it’s a fun day. There’s drinks… One of the guys will grill hot dogs and hamburgers. Somebody usually rents a boat for water skiing…”
“I’ve never skied.” I make a sad face.
“You can sit on the pier and tan with me.” She leans in and winks. “Also known as drinking and watching all the hot guys.”
“I can do that!”
“After a few bevs, who knows what might happen.”
My eyebrows rise, and I watch as she pulls out a red and white checked table cloth and spreads it over one table. I grab another and help set up under the trees. We’re nearly done when Dean skips up in gingham shorts and a pink tee.