He slams a hand hard into my eye.
Ouch. That’s going to leave a hurt for sure.
Security comes and tries to get us apart, but Ethan and I brush them off like flies. They go crashing in two different directions.
That’s when the real cops burst in. Uniformed officers and even SWAT.
The audience is fucking screaming.
“There’s the fucker right there,” a cop yells as he points out to me.
Fuck. It’s cum-car cop.
The cops draw their guns, cocking them.
The studio looks like a war zone. B
roken glass is everywhere and the audience is in chaos, running to the doors.
Finally, I see two security guards and a police officer come up behind Ethan and I smile in triumph. He’s going to get what he deserves and he doesn’t even realize. One of the men pulls out a TASER. This is going to be good.
Just as I’m about to crow, I feel 1000 volts of electricity go through me.
Fuck!
Ethan drops to the floor, too. They must have gotten us both…
Whatever. When I wake up, I’ll kick his ass all over again.
SportsNation
SportsNation Highlights
Hello, and welcome to SportsNation Highlights. I’m your host, Suzy Fren.
One word can only describe the mood of the nation before we head into the week’s lineup. That word: Wow. If you didn’t get a chance to tune in to our show on Sunday, boy did you miss out.
That’s right. It took the NFL only one day to place both Ethan Blake and Colt Stackford on a paid suspension as they reviewed their on-air actions. What on air actions are we talking about?
Cut to clip of Colt punching Ethan in the face.
This Monday, NFL Commissioner Bo Horton announced that both the quarterback and defensive end were being suspended after their on-air fight and arrest. And then to add yet another twist to the unfolding drama, we reported a whirlwind of activity between the Dallas Devils as they tried to get rid of their toxic players. Why would they do that, you ask?
Cut to clip of Bo Horton at a press conference.
“It’s not outside the possibility that the League could end up either fining these players for their despicable behavior or their team for allowing something like this to take place. This is a breakdown in discipline. And it’s something I’m going to stop if it’s the last thing I do. And as Commissioner, I promise you, if these two get in trouble ever again – if they so much as litter – this League is going to throw the book at them as well as any team that decides to employ them.”
Cut back to the clip of Suzy Fren.
That’s right. You heard it here. The Dallas Devils have decided that Colt and Ethan are such liabilities that they’re better off without the top quarterback and defensive player in the league. And so a late night secret trade was announced yesterday evening – between the Dallas Devils and New York Nailers. The Nailers gave up third string kicker, Boris Johnson and received both Ethan and Colt.
So think the Nailers made off like bandits? Not so fast. You heard the Commissioner. For the first time, the League is cracking down on bad behavior. Which means that Commissioner Horton will hold the teams responsible for any future bad behavior from the players. Colt and Ethan better keep their noses clean, because the Nailers are on the hook and the League is going to be watching.
The New York Nailers for what it’s worth could use the help. They’re currently 3 games to 1 in the season so far and hoping to make it to the playoffs. This after Julianna Heaton, the team owner became the first woman and youngest owner of an NFL team when she purchased the struggling franchise outright roughly a year ago for $1.8 billion. She’s displayed a tough approach as she took a bankrupt team and proceeded to turn it around to become Super Bowl contenders this year. We also all remember her father, the late Bob Heaton who used to coach the Nailers and sadly passed away last year.
Julianna Heaton has been no stranger to controversy herself – her forceful and vocal support of women’s rights within corporate America has made her a target for conservative columnists. She was last in the public eye this year when she complained about the salary caps that were imposed by the NFL on the teams in the league. It’s too soon, but the acquisition of Colt and Ethan by the Nailers has some speculating the Julianna is going to have to cut one of the players, as combined they exceed the salary cap that the New York Nailers are allowed. The good news? She has until the end of the season to decide. The bad news? These are the two best players in the NFL. And they’re both so toxic that no other team wants them at this time.
Within hours of the trade being announced, opinions were split as to whether Julianna, as the first female owner of an NFL franchise would be able to tame these two bad boys. But from everything that we can tell, this woman is up for the challenge. Getting her start on Wall Street, where she personally rose to the top within ten years as CEO of the multi-national investment bank, Carter Jeffries, Julianna has never been a stranger to media scrutiny. While named as the most charismatic billionaire on the Forbes 400, as well as the richest single woman alive last year, Julianna Heaton has however always been one to polarize. Her supporters point to her independent and strong attitude - not bowing or scraping to anyone. Her detractors point to a long list of complaints against her - from a take-no-prisoners attitude that she uses wherever she goes professionally, to an almost gleeful indulgence in her own playboy lifestyle, to the complete lack of mercy she has shown her corporate enemies. This, Julianna’s supporters counter, is nothing more than what any successful, wealthy, single alpha male would do. Why, they ask, is it so hard for an alpha woman to do so?