Page 270 of Protein Shake

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Instead, I just want to wrap my fucking arms around her cute little body and hold her fucking close to me.

Don’t you fucking look at me like that. I’m not going fucking soft. You saw what I did to that wanker ex-boyfriend of hers. I am not losing my fucking edge. I will kick the living shit out of you if you say to anyone that I am.

“So, welcome to the program, Prince Derrick,” one of the two hosts, Robin Lefler, is greeting me - waking me up from my daydreams.

That’s right. I decided to come back on television, do a few PR fluff pieces, and give the people of New York something more to know me by than me flashing my cock in the air on camera.

Actually, it was Pressly’s idea. He says with the public service I’ve been doing; it might be a good time to get in front of the camera again.

So here I fucking am - sitting with Robin Lefler and Taylor Smith - regular hosts of Today USA on CBC.

That’s right, also. I’m back at the same studio as the fucking “incident” as some of the papers have called it when it was announced I’d be on TV. The network, for all its vaunted righteousness and FCC fines, was bending over backwards to get me on the air. And why wouldn’t they? The media are having a fucking field day. The ratings for this shit are through the roof.

“Good to be back, Robin,” I say stiffly. It takes me a moment to get acclimatized to interviews.

“So, last time you were here, Your Highness,” Taylor begins, “We had quite the interesting event. I hope we don't have to go through that again today.”

There’s laughter and cheering from the audience. I even hear one woman call out, “I love you Derrick!” I smile my fucking million-dollar smile towards the audience and wave back.

“I’m trying to keep it in my pants more, nowadays,” I say and there’s more laughter. The hosts are laughing and so is the audience. Hell, even the fucking camera crew. I even notice Robin Lefler blush as I raise my pelvis a bit out of my seat. Fuck me, I think I can see her nipples hardening through her dress. Does she want a piece?

Too bad I’m already fucking spoken for.

I look over and Daphne is standing next to the cameraman who’s taping me. She's wearing a black pencil skirt and a white blouse - conservative on any woman, but on her it just makes my cock twitch with a mind of its own. I want to rip that fucking blouse off and bury my face in those tits. Fuck. I want to hike up that skirt and just fuck her like I did last night.

“…up to?” Robin asks.

Fuck. I’d zoned out again, thinking of Daphne.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize. “Can you repeat that?”

This raises some chuckles from the audience and Taylor quips, “Looks like he was thinking about you, Robin!”

I can see Robin blush. She does actually want a fucking piece of me.

“I was asking, Your Highness,” she repeats again, “Since we saw you last, what have you been up to?”

Oh. I can answer this one. Larry fucking prepared me for this answer.

“Actually, Robin, I’ve been very busy,” I answer. “I’ve started trying to give back to the community in a variety of ways. I don’t know exactly which way I’ll pursue, but I’m trying out several different activities to see which one I would like to dive into.”

“Oh really?” Robin asks. “And what brought about this change, Prince Derrick?” Robin asks. There’s a teasing lilt in her voice. I can see Daphne frown out of the corner of my eyes.

“Really simple,” I answer. I look to the camera that broadcasting me out to hundreds of millions of people. “A woman.”

“Aren’t you pretty familiar with women?” Taylor asks. Daphne’s face is lit up. But Robin’s trying to suppress a frown. Perfect.

“A very special woman,” I say. “Her name is Daphne Apple and she’s fucking amazing.”

A chorus of “aww” goes through the audience and there’s some cheering. Both Robin and Taylor look like they’ve just gotten very queasy – Taylor because I swore on the air, and Robin because I’m apparently not going to fuck her.

“Well, I think she’s got to be amazing for you to mention her by name,” Taylor quips, trying to bring normalcy. “Is she here?”

I point to her and the camera pans to where Daphne is standing, with a wide smile on her face.

“Just be sure to keep your antics with her off camera, Prince Derrick,” Taylor replies, trying to be funny.

I shrug. “Let me know if the network changes its mind,” I say to them. “I’m always up for making you guys into a non-profit.”


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