Not because I'm grossed out. I should be, but all I can manage is a pathetic Ew. Gross. And that's only because you're watching.
I'm not grossed out.
I'm so incredibly wet. If I took my panties off right now and threw them against the wall, they’d stick to that wall.
Yes, it’s because I'm thinking about Derrick, okay? How he thought enough about me in his messed up way.
What is going on with him? He’s not supposed to be like this.
He took me out on a beautiful morning and he became a hero. He didn’t even get any of the credit.
Then, he went out to God knows where and bought me some pretty crazy sex toys.
Okay, the last one is a bit out there, but Derrick is completely out there. And when he was standing in my door, with no shirt that's showing off his rippling muscles and I can see the bulge in his crotch, it's a bit hard not to get turned on when I'm looking at nipple clamps and a vibrator.
I've never had a vibrator before.
I guess I've always sort of wanted a vibrator, but I was too embarrassed to go into a store on my own and buy it.
And now Derrick's bought one for me. Because he was worried about how I was going to get along without having sex with my boyfriend – who I’ve never had sex with before, ironically.
But there is someone I wish I could have sex with.
Don't give me that look. Please. It's not like I’m going to be like every other one of his stupid conquests. I can resist his charms.
But a girl can have fantasies, can’t she?
I decide that since he's out of the house anyways, I'm going to live a little and have a little bit of fun.
A wicked smile goes through my face and I jump off the bed and go to close my door. But, it's just me in the house. I'm going to leave it open. Feels a bit naughtier that way.
The only problem is; I have no idea how to use one of these things.
First I take the clamps, which I realize actually look quite delicate as I examine them. They’ve got some decorative design that makes them look a bit fancy, even sexy, but maybe that’s just my desperation for a sinful man I’ll try not to mention.
Seriously, this isn’t solely about Derrick. Stop looking at me like that; it really isn’t. Maybe he’s right, and I do just need to relieve some stress. Besides, I already told you this isn’t some savings account between my legs that only a future husband can access. I just haven’t found the right guy, and thank the heavens I didn’t give it up to Jake, because he turned out to be a real asshole.
Taking one clamp between my index finger and thumb, I open and close it a couple of times to see how it works. Seems simple enough. Placing it around my bottom lip, I giggle when it clamps down. I thought it would be painful, but it doesn’t bother my lip at all.
The instructions said my nipple should be hard before using the clamp, and luckily my headlights are on brightly, standing up like they’re waiting for the show to begin. I glance down as the nerves begin to build in my stomach. I’m afraid to do this, afraid of what it will do and how it will feel. That’s kind of the point of doing it with someone else, right? So you don’t have to go through this alone? But its better if I learn to please myself first, a girl in college told me that. It’s strange that I remember it now.
Okay, quit stalling. Are we doing this or what? Fuck it, let’s do it. I open one clamp and hover it above my aroused nipple, my fingers trembling with anticipation.
“Ahhh!!!” I yell before breaking into a giggli
ng fit. Yikes! It hurt a lot more than my bottom lip, but I guess I’m more sensitive there. Opening the other clip, I clamp down on my other nipple, my reaction a bit less dramatic this time after knowing what to expect. Before I can fully register the pain it fades completely, almost as if they’re not even there. Strange.
Now for the real toy. I look at the small bullet. It looks like an elongated metal marble. The surface is so smooth and shiny, metallic even. I’ve seen the price on the box, but even without that I would’ve been able to tell it was expensive. The instructions list wetting it in your mouth, first, and although I know I’m already well lubricated down there, I follow the steps.
The metal feels silky smooth against my tongue. My thighs press together as my belly fill with butterflies. I feel like I’m at the top of a rollercoaster about to free fall as I move the bullet down my body, between my breasts and over my navel. My legs spread just enough for me to reach my hand in and slide the bullet inside my slippery sex.
“Wow!” A shocked whisper escapes me as the cool metal slides about. My muscles clench around the foreign object and a strange feeling begins to build in my stomach. My hips begin to wind seductively as I find ways to move the bullet inside me, my hands inadvertently returning to my breasts.
I’ve completely forgotten about the clamps, but the instant I touch them the shock of the strangely enjoyable pain is reignited. A soft moan escapes me, my body feels electric. Every accidental brush against my skin takes my breath away in a way it never has before.
My body is rocking side to side, desperate to feel that strange sensation the bullet causes at certain points within me. It’s like playing memory trying to remember how to get back to the sweet spot that makes my insides quiver a bit.
Taking a deep breath, I run my fingernails up and down my soft skin, the sensation sending chills down my spine, my back arching in delight. Wow, this is really good. I try that a few more times, each feeling more intense than the last.