And I'm not.
Really. If someone has a problem with Natalie they can come tell me to my face. Then they can watch as I proceed to break that fucking face.
Even fucking Drake. Anyone has a problem with him and I, then they better get the fucking undertaker ready.
Like I said, I'm not gay. But you assault my family—the people I consider to be my lovers—and you better be ready to face the fire that is Sloane Hardman.
But that's not why I'm staying on the edges of the crowd today.
This is Drake's show. This is his shit.
His firm is the one that got the brunt of the media scrutiny. That basically had the rug pulled out from under him.
The banks stopped lending to Carlton Capital. Jesus fucking Christ. Talk about mixing morality with business.
So it's Drake who has to do whatever he's gotta do to get this shit back on track.
Personally, I would've gone to the newspaper office and beat the shit out of the Editor In Chief. Probably gone to jail, but I would've fucking smiled and written a check for the assault charges. Bought that fucker a new wardrobe and told him it was worth every fucking penny.
But that's why I do venture capital. Because I don't have to deal with negative consequences for a lot of my actions. I don't have regulators from Washington D.C. crawling up my ass like they do for an investment bank.
So Drake probably had to do the more civilized thing to defend himself. And I know the guy. I know that even though he's calling a press conference, deep down he wants to go and kick some ass too, literally.
"Ladies and gentlemen," a woman who probably handles the press relations for Carlton Capital says into the microphone. "Thank you for attending today. Mr. Carlton will be making a brief statement. And then taking questions."
There's silence and a few clicks as the woman steps away from the podium and Drake comes out of the doors from the inside of the building and takes her place.
"Thank you," Drake says.
Silence. Flash photography. I take a step closer. Yeah, you got me. I'm fucking curious.
"Yesterday, the news media had a feeding frenzy unlike one I've ever seen before," Drake says. "Accusations were lobbed. Allegations were made. Assumptions were taken and reputations were smeared," he continues.
Photographers begin to click their cameras. They don't fucking care what he's saying. They just want to capture the moment for history in case he fucks it up pretty badly.
"I want you to know that the effects of this action touch not just me, but my entire company. And through that, it has touched over $1 trillion dollars of investments that are managed for pension funds, teachers unions, and everyday retirement accounts. You're not just hurting me, but yourselves," Drake says. I gotta say, he sure knows how to put it down.
"On top of which, the allegations from yesterday represent a surprising invasion of my personal privacy, as well as the privacy of my stepdaughter and stepson," Drake begins. "While I understand that Linda Vanderhill running for public office is something that places our lives in public scrutiny, I am here today to tell you that Linda and I are divorced. Both Sloane Hardman and Natalie Vanderhill are consenting adults. And free to run their own lives."
The reporters are starting to stir.
"I'm not here today to confirm or deny any allegations," Drake says flatly. He's got a fucking challenging tone that basically says that if you fuck with him, he will cut you down. "What I am here to do is to personally vouch for the integrity of Natalie Vanderhill."
Right. That's the key component of this entire mess.
"There exists no quid pro quo relationship between the funding of Dirty Lil' Angels and Carlton Capital," Drake goes on to say. "There is no unholy alliance between Hard Times and Carlton Capital. In fact, at the very beginning, I pulled the funding for the initial investments because I was concerned about the viability of Ms. Vanderhill's company products. I am no longer concerned."
Flash bulbs intensify. Now we're getting somewhere.
"I categorically denounce anyone who has the audacity to claim that sexual favors were traded for favorable investment services," Drake says into the microphone as he looks into the crowd. "S
ince that violates at least 20 different regulations and implies criminal conduct, if you are planning on making that accusation, I plan on bringing at least fifty lawyers to that conversation."
Mild laughter. We might actually get through this. Motherfucker might actually pull it off.
"If we are clear on this, then that concludes my statement," Drake says and then gives a sigh of relief as he says, "Any questions."
There's a momentary pause and I think that the worst is over.