The most difficult decision I’ve ever made is looming before me, less than twelve hours away, and I still have no idea what I’m going to do. How I’m going to choose between the two most amazing men I’ve ever known.
Maya’s voice continues, and I open my eyes again and look at the screen. “Like I told you before, you need to listen to your heart and go with your instincts. If you follow your heart, you’ll be a winner no matter what.” She gives me a hard look through the camera, as if she’s trying to convey some type of hidden message with secret meaning. “I know you’ll make the right decision.”
Then the screen goes black and I’m left sitting there, still trying to figure out what to do. I stay there for a long time reflecting on everything she said, both on the video message and in the last conversation we had in my bathroom yesterday.
Follow your heart.
Rules are made to be broken.
Yesterday I had time alone with both Tristan and Madden. They both confessed their feelings for me, and I had incredible encounters with both of them. They made me feel special and perfect and so, so sexy.
But while I loved every second of my time with each of them, it still didn’t compare to what it felt like being with both of them together. That was beyond anything I’ve ever known. And I want more of that.
I want both of them. Together. That’s the one thing I’m sure of in this whole crazy situation.
My mind spins, trying to figure out what to do. What would happen in each scenario.
If I choose Tristan, I know every moment will be hot and intense and passionate. He’s so real and unafraid to show what he’s feeling.
But Madden brings something else to the equation. He’s full of energy and fun, always injecting his charm and humor into everything.
They’re like two polar opposites in so many ways. But I like everything about both of them. I don’t want to settle for one or the other. I want both.
As I imagine myself with one or the other, it’s never been more clear, especially after having time with each of them yesterday.
I can’t settle for one.
I want to be with both of them.
I want to choose both of them.
But how will they feel about that? And what will happen with the show?
I stand quickly, suddenly anxious to talk to them. Walking to a desk tucked into an alcove in the wall, I pull out a pad of paper and a pen and scribble out two notes. Folding them up, I go to one of the confessional cameras, notes clenched tightly in my hands.
I know what to do now. It’s all become clear.
I sit in front of the camera and tell it that I think I’ve made my choice, waving my notes in front of it, finishing my confession with, “Now I just have to see what happens.”
Then I hand the notes to a production assistant—Maya is nowhere in sight—and tell them it’s vital these messages are delivered to Tristan and Madden immediately.
I’ve asked them both to meet me in the rooftop garden in one hour. Heading up to my room to shower and get ready, I feel confident in my decision.
I just hope they understand and are on the same page.
39
The Biggest Licker Season Update
Chase: Hello and welcome to another installment of our analysis of The Biggest Licker – the most popular reality show on TV. I’m your host, Chase Worthington.
Nadia: And I’m your co-host, Nadia Moore. The season finale to the most exciting season of The Biggest Licker is underway and all across the world, people have just one question. What was in those notes?
Chase: That’s right. Probably the biggest cliffhanger in the history of reality television just occurred as Megan held the notes and then waves them around for us.
Nadia: Chase, you have to know what’s in those notes. I can’t believe you can’t say.
Chase: Honestly, Nadia, I swear to you if I knew I would at least tell you. But not even the producers know what is going to happen. The notes were sealed when Megan sent them and maybe it was a sign of how into it that everyone has gotten but even the production assistants didn’t peak when delivering the messages. And they’re job is to bring everything to us first. But they want to see how this plays out as well.