"Sure," I answer rhetorically. "But both men were dashing, good looking, and confident. In their own way, both made me feel sexy. No one can blame me for wanting to feel sexy and wanted."
There are some murmurs among the crowd. I'm starting to win them over.
But it doesn't matter.
Because by the time I'm done, this will be all over.
"Did I sleep with them?" I ask, and let the question hang in the air.
"Sure," I say out loud.
You remember those thousand suns I made fun of Sloane about to you a few minutes earlier?
Well, I take it back.
The flashes are blinding.
But I go on.
"Did I have sex with both at the same time? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely. Will I do it again? You bet. Do I care what you think?" I finish with a question and the crowd looks at me with bated breath. "Not one bit."
There's a collective sigh. It's like the air has been let out of a balloon.
"Honestly, if you think this is bad, you need to hold a mirror up to your own lives and look at what you're doing," I say into the microphone. "Explain to me why it's wrong for me to love a man who at one time was married to my mother but is in no way related to me. Or to love a man who had a completely different mother and only knew me or another older man through marriage. Are we saying that's wrong now? Because that sounds pretty silly to me."
I swear you could hear a pin drop.
"Are we saying threesomes are bad?" I ask again, with incredulity. "Because that would mean that everything we prize as a culture is wrong. Or is it just that one man with two women is okay, but one woman with two men is bad?"
Now they're starting to look at each other.
"And since when do we as a people start tearing down love and start celebrating betrayal?" I ask aloud.
Now the people are looking at me with puzzlement. And here it comes.
"Let me tell you what it is that I make, because I don't make just your average sex toy," I say into the microphone and smile. Here it comes.
"My sex toys can do a number of things. They can track what you're reading on the Kindle or any other e-reader. They can sense what web page your visiting on your tablet. All this is designed so that they can stimulate you at the appropriate times and you don't have to," I explain.
"One of the things they can do if someone is so inclined, is to record sounds," I say and take a pause. "At first, I put in the functionality in case you want to ever hear yourself moan after you cum."
People are starting to squirm now. I'm talking about sex. Oh no. What kind of lady does that in public?
Fuck that.
As you can tell, this whole thing with Drake and Sloan has gotten me to the point where I am just done.
Seriously, I don't have any more fucks left to give.
Which is why I bring the hammer down hard.
"Let's just suppose that I was wearing such a toy—a bullet, actually—on a certain occasion when my mother came to visit me in my apartment," I say, and reach into my pocket and retrieve the tiny appliance.
"And let's just say that it was set to record any sort of sounds or speech that occurred near me," I say with a mischievous smile.
There's no more need to say anything. I push a button on my phone and hold the bullet close to the microphone. There's a few seconds of static and then you can hear some rustling.
I fast forward to the point where I need to be.