Joyce nods to me. "Okay," she says as she takes notes. "What should I tell them the conference is about?"
I smile.
Now I can see exactly how I'm going to fucking beat them.
I'm going to wear them the fuck down. Take their questions and throw them right back at them until they realize just how stupid and nonsensical they are.
"Tell them," I say and think for a moment before it comes to me. "Tell them it's about my feelings for my stepdaughter, Penny."
Joyce looks at me with a flash of concern.
I nod to her to tell her that she heard correctly.
She shakes her head as she walks away to go make the arrangements.
She probably thinks I've gone insane.
Maybe I have. Maybe I'm going to fucking explode.
But before I do, I swear to fucking God I'm grabbing some of those motherfuckers and taking them down with me.
Penny
God. If I had to describe the last three days without Magnus, I'd probably have to use the word...anguished.
Have you ever loved someone so much that every minute that you're not with them feels like a moment where you'd rather be dead than separated from them?
Where you just want to know where they are in the world so at least knowing makes you feel calmer and safer.
Where you feel happy knowing that they're out there in the world with you?
I think I once read somewhere on Facebook or wherever that love is actually an emotion that arose as an evolutionary step in humans. That we experience love so that we can form family groups and protect each other. So that we can care for our young when they're vulnerable. So we don't run around having sex and then forgetting who we had it with and never taking care of our babies.
I don't know honestly what the answer is. I don't know if I believe in evolution or what.
But I do know that if there is a God on this planet, that he must have created love for just me and Magnus.
That's right, babe. I know you have your significant other. I know that the world doesn't revolve around Magnus and me.
But that's what it feels like. That's what every moment I think of Magnus Davion feels like. That the world was made for me and him. That every touch, every taste, every feeling and every breath were made for each other. That the vast entirety of this world - that all of history - was designed solely so the two of us could enjoy it.
There is no way I will ever leave this man. There is no way I will ever betray him. Every fiber of my body, every atom of my existence, cries out to be next to him.
And you know what?
I know he feels the same way about me.
I know, in my heart of hearts, that this man has reoriented his life to have it revolve around me. I am the sun to his existence.
He doesn't need to tell me.
I don't need to be near him to be able to understand.
I don't need to see him do or say anything.
It's almost as if...as if...
As if it's faith.