That’s something I would absolutely regret. This is my last chance. A get out of jail free card. If I fuck this up, I have nothing left. At all.
So I go against everything that my body is screaming for me to do and place my hands firmly on Madden’s chest, leaning back and giving him a remorseful smile.
“I can’t, Madden.”
He lowers his lips to my neck, gently lapping at the pulse point that’s thundering in time with my heart. “Just say yes, Megan.”
My fingers clench in his shirt, gripping the fabric tightly as I pull him to me, in spite of my brain saying no.
“I promise I’ll make it worth it for you.”
I have no doubt that sex with Madden would be better than I can even imagine. But it’s not worth throwing away my chance at a decent life. He isn’t promising me a life of security. He’s promising me one night of hot sex. That won’t last past dawn.
With what feels like superhuman effort, I pull back, taking two quick steps away. “I’m sorry, Madden. I really, really can’t.”
The disappointment on his face is clear, and I can’t help adding, “But if it makes it any better, I really, really want to.”
He smiles slightly, closing the distance between us again. “Somehow, that actually does make it better.” He shakes his head. “You’re a strong woman, Megan. And I have to respect you for that.”
I smile, pleasure flooding my body at his words. Who knew that Madden’s respect would make me feel so happy?
“I’m going to my room now, and you can go to yours,” he says, “but if you change your mind…”
Then he leans in and gives me a slow, soft kiss, so different from anything I’ve experienced with him before, and I melt a little more. Before I can change my mind, I turn and head for my room.
But I stop at the door and turn back to him. “Thanks for an incredible night, Madden.”
He flashes his dimples. “You know where to find me if you want me to make it the best you’ve ever had.”
Laughing, I slip into my room and shut the door, then lean against it heavily, blowing out a breath. That was really damn close.
I rub my hand over my eyes, trying to process everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours.
This time last night, I’d barely become the last virgin standing. And now I’ve almost turned in my v-card more times than I can count.
Stripping out of my dress, I climb into the bed, exhausted in every way—mentally, physically, emotionally. I don’t even bother with washing off my makeup, that’s how crazy I feel right now. My mind is at war with my body.
But even that doesn’t fully explain how I feel. My mind and body are both at war with themselves, too. Torn between Tristan and Madden. I’ve never understood how a woman could be torn between two men. It seemed impossible. But what’s really impossible is figuring out which of them I want more.
Because if I make it through the rest of this crazy reality show with my virginity intact, I have to choose. I have to pick which man is my one true love.
Coming into the game, I never expected it to be so hard to choose. I never saw Tristan and Madden coming, though. And to complicate it even further, it’s not just a matter of picking which guy I like the best. To my complete surprise, I’m starting to feel things for both of them. Real things. True feelings.
They’re amazing men, each in their own way. I have no idea what to do. Part of me wants to give in and let them have their way with me. But I fight that part with everything I have in me—because I have to win. I just have to.
But if I have to choose between them at the very end? I don’t see how I can. Madden showed me tonight that he can be caring and sweet, even as he’s being over the top flirtatious. Then there’s Tristan. So full of passion. So intense. So kind and caring.
They both manage to make me feel better than I’ve ever felt in my life. I thought going on this date was going to help me figure things out, but now I’m only more confused than ever. One of them will have to go at the end. And just the thought of that has me feeling sick. I don’t want to let go of either Tristan or Madden.
Ironically, I think I’m going to end up totally screwed, even if I never get fucked.
18
The Biggest Licker Season Update
Chase: Hello and welcome to another installment of our analysis of Biggest Licker – the most popular reality show on TV. I’m your host, Chase Worthington.
Nadia: And I’m your co-host, Nadia Moore. We have a lot to cover today as we get ready for today’s televised episode of Biggest Licker.