You know why? Because no matter what—come hell or high water—nothing is stopping me. Tomorrow night I'm going down in history.
For good or for bad—I'll be in the next generation of history books, that's for fucking sure.
I scroll through every legal contact I have in my phone.
It's time to call the experts.
28
Washington Beat
Future First Lady? Or First Mistress? First Booty Call?
From the desk of Margie Preston – our savvy but slightly sappy political reporter
Wow wee!!! Did you see the last 24 hours people? Have you followed on what’s been happening? Because events are changing minute to minute and if you don’t keep up, you’ll soon find yourself needing a map you’ll be so lost.
But just in case you missed something that happened in the news because you know, life, let me break it down for you.
So, to start…the President is single again!!! Yay!! It turns out that Mr. President is really just Mr. Fake Fiancé. At least that’s what the offices of Speaker of the House Bob Walker are stating. To quote the Speaker in his televised address, “I have irrefutable proof that the President of the United States hired Ms. Draper with the express intention of pretending to be his fiancée for the purposes of publicity. The whole operation was a political PR job. With no goal other than to deceive the American people.”
If that sounds a bit harsh, the Speaker went on to get even harsher. “Ms. Draper received no vetting from the government. She was not cleared for any sensitive information. And in her prior dealings, she has rubbed shoulders with many people who work for institutions and states that could be hostile to the interests of the United States. It’s entirely possible that Ms. Draper traded sexual favors to a President who is known to like sexual favors for information that she might not have gotten otherwise.”
Did that sound like he was accusing Ashley Draper, the woman we thought would be our future First Lady? Here is what the Speaker of the House went on to say.
“Let me be very, very, clear. I am accusing the woman that we know as Ashley Draper as being a spy. I don’t know for what government or institution, but it’s clear that she is in the White House, just moments away from the nuclear launch codes under false pretenses.”
You think that’s bad?
Wait till what what the Speaker of the House had to say today.
“It’s come to my knowledge that Ms. Draper deals in the trading of information and embarrassing secrets. She entraps people into embarrassing situations. My staff was able to dig this out. It’s now clear to me that our President is being extorted by Ms. Draper into selling state secrets. This redoubles my calls for impeachment and imprisonment of this President due to his unfitness to serve the highest office of the land.”
Speaker of the House Bob Walker. Fierce opponent of Austin Bain. Calling for his impeachment. And it seemed just the other day the country was getting ready for a White House wedding. Now we might be getting ready for a White House jailing.
Not to be outdone, the White House has responded to the charges that Bob Walker has made. But it’s odd, because they’ve just had one message.
“The President will address the nation. Tonight,” commented Press Secretary Cheryl Maddox.
I was supposed to go to CrossFit. But this is the perfect excuse to miss it. It’s going to be an interesting evening, that’s for sure.
29
Ashley
“What’s gotten into him?” I ask Tracy as we walk down a corridor at a brisk pace, heading toward the conference room.
“No idea,?
?? she shrugs, trying to appear calm and in control, but I know that she’s a wreck underneath her professional demeanor. Against his own advice, Austin has decided to hold a press conference, and he hasn’t even told Tracy a word of what he’s going to be saying. Maybe all this stress has gotten the best of him. And if that’s what’s happening … well, then, we’re all fucked. But it’s not like we can stop him; he’s the President of the United States, after all, and when the President wants something, he usually gets it.
Even if that’s a press conference that might dictate his own impeachment
I know what you’re thinking; what am I doing back at the White House, right? After the heated exchange of words between Austin and I, I was on the verge of leaving for good. And I did. Went back to my apartment for the night. But a deal is a deal, and I’ve never backed out of one. And I’m not going to start now. And, besides, despite how much of an asshole he was toward me… I still believe that he’s the right man to be leading this country.
“Thing is,” Tracy tells me, stopping before we enter the wing of the White House opens to the reporters, “a bug was found in the Oval Office. Just like you said. And it’s as clear as water that Walker is the one behind it. There’s a forensics team up there as we speak.”
“Maybe he plans to use that as leverage against Walker?”