“Ugh,” I groan and push back into the covers, burrowing my head into the pillows. “I’m so stupid.”
“Knock it off, Kara. No one’s gonna buy that,” Eric says adamantly. “You’re fucking brilliant, and anyone with half a brain can see that. You want us to shower you in fucking compliments, all you need to do is ask.”
“Fuckin’ hot, too,” Chase says. “Press is just trying to get under your skin.?
?
“That’s just it, though, isn’t it?” I say, staring at my hands. “Thanks for always trying to cheer me up…but like, fuck. They can see right fucking through me, guys. They know what a fucking faker I am now—I might be fit on the outside, but I’m always going to be the same fat ass who lost her modeling contract on the inside.”
“Kara—” Chase starts.
“No, fucking seriously!” I say, slamming my fist against the bed. “You think any of the other contestants are getting this kind of shit? I’m a fucking heyday for the press, and everyone knows it. I can imagine the fucking headlines now—‘American Fatty Takes Two Cocks At Once!’ It’s not just photographers, either. There were women in that crowd who looked like they wanted to kill me just for being fucking near you. What the fuck was that about?”
“Actually,” Eric begins. “About that, Kara. There’s something we need to tell you. Protein Plus—”
“Fuck Protein Plus,” I state firmly.
“Seriously, Kara,” Chase says. “We need to fucking discuss this with you now, before—”
“Look, guys, I love the shakes, too, and everything, but I’m not really in the fucking mood right now, okay?”
Ignoring them, I decide I want to eat my feelings and barrel through a hefty portion of calories like it’s water.
“I’m ordering room service. Pizza, burgers, fries, the works,” I announce boldly as I pick up my phone to dial downstairs.
“Don’t do that.” Eric rushes to my side and tries to remove the phone from my death grip.
“I’m eating until I pack the pounds back on,” I tell them. “The press wants a fatty—I’ll give them one.”
“That’s fuckin’ stupid, and you know it,” Chase says and gives me a pity glance.
“Well, I’m a fucking idiot, so I guess that makes sense, huh?” I shrug as if I’m unscathed.
“Don’t plummet into this self-destructive bullshit,” Chase says sternly.
“How do you feel when you look in the mirror?” Eric asks me.
I laugh. “What kind of question is that?”
“Just answer me.” His eyes are steel.
I sigh dramatically. “I feel great when I look in the mirror,” I confess. “I feel proud, sexy, muscular, and strong.”
Eric and Chase have fire in their eyes.
“Fucking exactly,” Chase says.
“Nothing that shitbag photographer says is going to change that,” Eric adds.
“Yeah, okay, I know what you’re trying to do,” I quip back. “You said it yourself though…that every now and then I can treat myself to an indulgence. Well, I’m fucking indulging, baby.”
“Not like this,” Eric says. “There’s a time and a place, and your emotional state doesn’t reflect that stability right now.”
“Yeah, well, fuck stability,” I say, fucking determined as ever.
“You’ve worked so fuckin’ hard, Kara,” Chase says. “Don’t throw it all away because of one bad day.”
I plop down on a chair in the room and contemplate whether I should heed their advice or protest by defying them.