Shit, shit, shit.
What do I say?
I can’t exactly tell her I’ve been in love with her since I was ten, can I? And that all the fucking songs I wrote were, in one way or the other, inspired by her? And that all of my fucking life has always been about her, the one fucking woman I couldn’t get out of my head?
Oh, man, what’s happening to me?
“So?” She insists. My heart’s thumping so loudly I can barely hear myself think.
Grabbing my whiskey, I do what Kat did and down the whole thing at once, throwing my head back and allowing the whisky to burn its way down my throat.
There, much better.
“I…I don’t know,” I tell her, allowing my gaze to drift from her.
Fucking coward, I think to myself. Just tell her the truth.
“You don’t know?”
“I don’t…” I say, shaking my head as I ask the bartender for another round.
We sit there in silence, my heart still kicking like a motherfucker, and I look around the bar looking for an emergency exit. I’ve never been good at this shit.
Yeah, don’t tell anyone I told you this but…I’ve never told any woman before that I loved her.
I don’t do feelings—I do whiskey shots, and I do marathon sex sessions. No more, no less.
So, you see, I’m kinda lost here.
That’s when I spot the couple at the other side of the bar. They’re talking in a hushed tone, but I can still hear fragments of their conversation.
“Evan, it’s just that…I don’t know,” the woman says, looking at Evan as if he’s made of pure fucking gold.
He has a nice posture, a tailored suit, and looks like a fucking movie star. If he isn’t made of gold, he’s probably the next best thing.
“Emilia, listen to me,” he says, cutting her short with a wave of his hand.
Reaching for her, he grabs her chin and makes her look straight into his eyes.
“I don’t give two fucks about how different we are. All I know is that I love you.”
The way he said it…it was raw.
Pure fucking intent right there. I sit there, just watching as Emilia’s little mouth opens into a smile, and she mouths these three magic words back at her date.
I don’t hear whatever the guy’s response is, but judging by the hasty way they pay their bill and leave, I’d wager it was something along the lines of “Let’s get out of here and fuck each other’s brains outs.”
Beautifully done.
And it was easy.
“Hey.”
Kat’s voice, again. She snaps her fingers in front of my face.
“Earth to Alex. Are you here?”
“I am,” I whisper, turning to her again.