18
Christine
“Don’t tell me you’re breaking up with Professor Hung?” Kim asks me, placing the straw of her cocktail between her lips and taking a sip. She always has these nicknames for the men we’re dating - and Anders’ happens to varies from Professor Hung to Professor Handsome.
“It’s… complicated,” I tell her, staring down at my own cocktail but not drinking it. I just move the straw around in long, wide circles, thinking back to my fight with Anders. And now that Kim is putting it like that, these two terrible words - break up - feel like a neon sign inside my head.
“Of course it is complicated,” Kim looks me in the eye and places her cocktail down. She’s looking at me in that way of hers, reading me as if she’s a psychic. “You’re torn between the UN Consultancy Program and Professor Handsome,” she tells me patiently. Kim always had a knack for understanding people, and she always gets to the bottom of things without tiptoeing around the truth. That’s why I’m here with her, in one of the booths at Dos Caminos, recounting her what just happened with Anders. The fight, the way I stormed off… I even told her of the amazing sex we had before it.
“Yeah… I guess…” I mutter, still moving the straw around in an endless circle, my heart tightening up inside my chest as I realize that I might have ruined things with both Anders and the Consultancy Program. But I just don’t know what to do! This is a complete mess, and it’s all my fault.
“So, pick one,” she smiles at me, and I can tell that she understands how hard that choice really is. How do you make a choice like this - your ambitions and your whole future, or the man of your dreams? Why can’t I just have both?
“It’s not that simple,” I state the obvious, forcing myself to take a sip out of my cocktail. Maybe if I get a little buzz going on I’ll find the courage to make a decision. Hooray for liquid courage, right?
“Yeah, yeah. It’s complicated,” Kim sighs, taking another sip out of her cocktail, “it’s always complicated with you, girl. But I get it, you’re between a rock and a hard place. But there’s no way around it - you’ll have to decide, Christine.”
“I know, I know… I just… I just don’t know what to do!” I cry out, chomping on my lower lip as the memories of these two past months dance around inside my mind. I had a regular life before Anders, but he turned it all upside down. And, as bad as my situation is right now, I can’t really say that I would have done it any differently.
“Do you love him?” Kim asks, reaching for me and squeezing my hand. I raise my eyes from the glass and return her gaze, her words hanging heavy in the air. She looks at me patiently, waiting for my reply. Do you love him? Well, do I?
I purse my lips and close my eyes just for one second, all these memories flooding me. I think back to the first time our paths really crossed, when he carried me up to the nursery, or when he caught me talking about his huge cock right here in Dos Caminos… I remember the way I felt when I saw h
is naked body for the first time, and I remember how amazing it felt every single time we fucked and, more than that, every time we made love. Love.
“You love him, Christine,” Kim says, placing both her hands on top of mine. “You don’t even need to say it, I can see it in your face.”
“Yes I love him, okay! That doesn’t change a thing! I can’t keep on doing what I’m doing, living in secret…!” I cry out in protest. The fact that I love him doesn’t make this any easier. In fact, it just makes things a lot more complicated. If he was just a fling I could try to forget him, move on and focus on my studies and career. But I can’t do that when he’s the one I love, when he’s the most special man I have ever met.
“Well, there you have it, Christine,” she smiles, “you’re solving your own riddle.”
“What do you mean?”
“You said that you can’t keep on doing what you’re doing… So why don’t you change things? Stop doing the wrong thing, and start doing the right one.”
“And… what’s the right thing?” I sigh, still feeling torn. But she’s right - I have to do the right thing here.
“That’s for you to find out,” she tells me, and I squeeze back her hand. “But you love him, and that has to count for something.”
“I… I do love him,” I say, the way the words fall out of my lips almost making me dizzy. I love him, I really do. But am I willing to pay the price for this love? To let go of everything I’ve ever wanted because of Anders? The answer cuts through all the confusion in my mind like the light from a beacon, and the answer is a resounding yes. I love him too much to allow the Consultancy Program to step between the two of us. “I know what I have to do,” I tell Kim, standing up in a hurry and almost spilling my cocktail to the floor.
“And…?” Kim looks up at me, a bright smile on her lips. God bless her.
“I’m going to pay the Dean a visit,” I just say, placing a folded bill under my cocktail glass and grabbing my purse.
“Go get ‘em, girl,” she cheers me as I turn on my heels. I throw her one last smile and then I head out of Dos Caminos, a steely determination taking over me.
It might be the the hardest thing I have ever done, but I’m going to do the right thing… And I’m going to do it right now.
19
Anders
“Anders, can you come up to my office?” The Dean asks me, and his tone of voice leaves no room for doubts: I must go there now.
“On my way,” I respond and then end the call, placing the cell phone
inside my pocket as I stand up. I leave the papers I was reviewing right on top of my desk, and I don’t even bother with shutting down the computer. I get out of my office in a hurry and head straight to the Dean’s office. I don’t even bother with knocking - I just step inside.