The touch of my fingers on his skin made him jerk, his hands tightening around Garret’s throat, but his gaze dropped to mine.
“Tears?” he choked out, his hold slowly slackening before he dropped Garret and pushed him away. Hands free, he brushed them over my hair before pulling my face to his chest. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He kissed the top of my head, his body shaking as he inhaled deeply then laid his cheek where his lips had touched. I could hear his heart thundering in his chest, knew that he was trying to regain some semblance of control. “I’m sorry, my heart.”
Garret was coughing and trying to gulp in air from where he’d fallen to his knees behind me. Mentally, I begged him to go, to run, to not be there when Ryan regained full control of himself. And for once, the dumbass was smart enough to realize that I was trying to save him. I heard him moving and then his feet pounding on the stairs as he ran up to his room. Moments later, his door slammed shut, and I nearly sobbed in relief. But I quickly stopped myself before the noise could leave my throat.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan whispered again, remorse thick in his voice. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I would never hurt you.”
“I know,” I mumbled against his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. “I’m not scared of you.”
It was the truth. There was nothing Ryan could say or do that would make me scared of him. Scared for others? Yes, definitely. But never for myself.
Ryan was more than just my best friend. He was the other half of my soul. It had been that way since I was three and he was eight. The moment I set eyes on him, something had shifted. I could still remember how funny my chest had felt. I was too young to understand it then, but I did now. It was as if something had tied itself around my heart, connecting me to him in a way that should have scared me.
But what really scared me was losing that connection.
With each year that he grew older, it felt as if I still stayed a little girl. I was already surprised he hadn’t pulled away from me, found someone else to be his best friend. But even more so, I was surprised he hadn’t found a girlfriend. Ryan was the most beautiful boy I’d ever set eyes on, and that was saying a hell of a lot. Girls and women twice his age stopped and took notice of him when he entered a room.
Yet he didn’t seem to see a single one of them.
There was no interest in his eyes, no hunger, no lust. It confused me, because I’d seen those looks in my brother’s and cousins’ eyes when they saw a girl who interested them. But Ryan never responded. His body never reacted. And that made me irrationally happy.
But what scared me to death was how badly it was going to hurt when he finally did find someone he wanted to be with like that.
11
Ryan
My gut churned as everyone ate their breakfast. I’d been in Creswell Springs for a week, helping the MC and the sheriff get the extra security measures in place so that the schools would be safer—so that Nova would be safer since no one would permit me to put two of my own personal guards on her twenty-four seven.
But this was the last morning I could spend there before I flew back to New York. Things were piling up, and I had responsibilities that needed my attention. Which meant I had to get back, and I couldn’t take Nova with me. I didn’t like it, but I had to trust that her family would keep her safe until the end of the school year. Then she would be in New York with me, where she belonged, where I could watch over her myself.
Mom’s hand touched my back as she sat beside me at the Hannigans’ kitchen table, the look she gave me letting me know that she understood all the chaos that was storming around in my head. The truth was, she might guess how bad it was for me, but she didn’t fully understand the misery I was in. No one did, not even Nova.
And that was the way I wanted to keep it. It would freak her out if she knew that my every waking thought was about how to keep her safe. Now more than ever since Ramirez had sent two of his men to kill her. To make a statement to Pop and, more specifically, to me.
Ramirez was basically shouting at us that no one we loved and cared about was safe. What had once been a lucrative business arrangement between our families had grown sour over the past two years, but other than a few disagreements since our falling-out, no real trouble had followed the end of our partnership.
But the second he put Nova in his sights was the moment he’d put a price on his fucking head.
Nova yawned as she walked into the kitchen, her backpack already hanging off one shoulder. Dropping it on the floor by the door, she sat beside me and rested her head on my arm. “Can’t you stay just one more day?” she asked, her green eyes full of hope as she looked up at me through her dark-blond lashes.
“I would stay here until your summer vacation started if I could, but I have to get back.” I kissed the top of her head, like I’d always done, and heard her heavy sigh, knowing I’d disappointed her, but also knowing she understood why I had to go. But understanding didn’t make it easier for either of us to have to say goodbye.
“It’s only a few more weeks until Garret graduates,” she said with a bright smile, but it wasn’t the one that lit up my entire world. It didn’t reach her eyes, and I knew she was sad. “Then we’ll be back in New York.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, my jaw clenching at the thought of her brother. “Just a few weeks.”
“Please don’t be mad at him anymore,” she whispered. “He’s sorry, okay?”
I nodded, but I didn’t say anything, not wanting to lie to her or upset her more. I was beyond mad at Garret. I didn’t think there was a word in the English language for the rage I felt toward her brother. He should have been there to protect her, but instead, he’d been off getting high with the rest of the bottom-feeders in this small town. If he thought that he could work for my family and pull the same shit he got away with in Creswell Springs, he was shit out of luck.
He would have to earn his position in our organization, and lying around getting high and being an all-around fuckup was not going to get him anywhere but dead in that world.
If he made it that long.
I still wasn’t sure if I was going to put a bullet in him for not protecting Nova as he should have done.
Felicity placed a bowl of cereal in front of her daughter and then asked if I needed anything else. I gave her a tight smile and shook my head. I’d forced down the eggs and bacon she’d made for me, but if I ate anything else, I wasn’t sure it would stay in my stomach for long.