Reaching across the table, I take her hand, pressing down softly even as my gnarled insides try to make me squeeze tighter. “Lorelei, you can read me just as easily as I can read you. You’re right. But are you sure you want to hear about it? It's a depressing story.”
She returns the pressure in my hand. “I want to, yes. But I’ll understand if you don’t want to tell me. I just realized… I’ve never heard anything about your family. Not while growing up and not after.”
“Yeah, that’s by design,” I tell her. “I don’t want people’s pity and I don’t want them seeing me as some psychological puzzle to crack. But for you, Rory, I’ll go there.”
She stares at me patiently, our hands still clasped together.
I think she might ask me why I’m willing to share such an emotional revelation with her… if our relationship is based on lust, and lust alone, then surely there’s no need.
That gets me thinking that she must know there’s more here. Does she feel it too, a fluttering inside that tells her to get ready, that she’s going to give herself to me – for life – very soon?
“Let’s eat our food first,” I say, withdrawing my hand.
This is going to be harder than I thought. It’s like there’s a roadblock in my mind, popping up in the path of agony I want to share. Not want to, maybe, but feel like I have to.
Rory is going to be mine forever. She deserves to know the truth.
“And then we’ll go for a walk and I’ll tell you all about it. How does that sound?”
She smiles softly. “It sounds like a plan.”
We eat, exchanging glances every now and then. I can’t help but think about all the meals we’re going to share as our lives progress. And then, one day, there’ll be another person at the table, and another, and another, with Rory’s dark hair and perhaps my eyes, but with her smile, and her sweet captivating laughter.
“This really is beautiful, Bennet,” she murmurs after another mouthful. “How did you arrange it?”
“My work is contract-based, so during my off hours, I usually have a decent amount of free time. So I was able to drive up here and arrange this myself. It was easy, fun actually. I installed the decking and the heaters and everything.”
“And the lights and everything else?”
“Yeah, that was also me.”
She stares at me for a few seconds. “But it must’ve taken forever.”
I chuckle, nodding. “Yeah, it did. But if there’s one thing a SEAL isn’t afraid of, it’s hard work. And it was worth it to see the look on your face when we drove up here.”
“You did all this for me. You’re so awesome, Bennet. Thank you.”
“Like I said,” I say, “it was worth it to see the look on your face. And to taste your perfect lips.”
She licks her lips quickly, as though mention of them has made them needy for attention. I want to drag her into the cabin the second we’re done with our dinner, but I promised her a walk, a revelation.
And a man must always keep his word.
Chapter Thirteen
Rory
I hold onto Bennet’s arm as we walk along the lake together, the moon and starlight bouncing off the water. His muscles pressed firmly through the fabric of his suit, a solid mass against my palm as I squeeze tighter and tighter. We say little during our walk through the forest, Bennet’s keen eyes guiding us even as shadows melt and the dark becomes a monolith.
But now it’s like I can feel him building up to something. It’s like there’s an energy emanating from him, telling me he’s going to tell me soon, very soon.
But tell me what?
I let myself imagine he’s going to say he feels the same way I do, that he wants me with the same passion I want him. That he fantasized all through dinner about a family, just like I was, and that our connection goes far past the physical or a simple infatuation.
But I don’t let myself think like that for long.
It’s too dangerous, leading me into a warren of speculation that can only result in disappointment when I learn he doesn’t feel the same way.
Bennet stops at the water’s edge, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him.
“There’s a reason I purposefully avoid mentioning my parents,” he says, voice low. “And there’s a reason why I asked Rick not to mention it. It’s because of what I said before. I don’t want to be the object of special attention. But it’s also…”
He trails off, voice trembling, letting out a shivering breath. I look up at him, at the tightness of his jaw, the way his eyes glass over like he’s trying to fight the feeling.