“I’m so sorry, Dev.”
And there it was. The softening of her eyes, the forward lean, the reach across the counter for his hand. He stared as her fingers slid closer. He craved the comfort of her touch so bad. Hell, he’d probably dream about it tonight, but it was a line he couldn’t allow himself to cross. Once over, he’d never go back.
He jerked away, banging his elbow on the back of the chair in the process. “I told you I don’t want your pity.”
She straightened stiffly. “Offering sympathy is not the same as feeling sorry for someone. I don’t feel sorry for you, but…it must’ve been awful to see that girl killed like that.”
The direction of her empathy caught him off guard. “I’ve seen worse,” he said gruffly.
Sorrow darkened her brown eyes. “I don’t imagine that makes it any easier.”
A lump formed in his throat as he shook his head in confirmation. He shoved to his feet and turned away before she could see the tears stinging his eyes.
Damn it. He didn’t want her understanding. Or her sympathy. Or the possibility of her accepting who he was now only to later have the darkness inside him destroy her light.
“I’m going to do my PT.”
Just before he reached the hall, she called his name. “Dev. Can I ask you something?”
The slight plea in her voice halted his steps. “I’d rather you not.”
But then he stayed right there, unable to force his feet to move forward again.
A moment later, her slippered footsteps sounded behind him. He turned, and when she got within an arm’s-length away, he took a step back. She drew to an abrupt halt, hurt flashing in her eyes before her lashes swept down to conceal them. That glimpse of vulnerability stabbed him straight in the heart.
“Yesterday, you promised you’d be straight with me,” she reminded.
Yeah. Stupidest promise he’d ever made. “Ask what you’re going to ask.”
She swallowed hard, then took a breath as she looked up, as if she had to gather her courage to speak. “You pull away every time I get too close. Is it me specifically you don’t want to touch, or did something happen that keeps you away from everyone?”
In for a penny, in for a pound, isn’t that how the saying went?
Since he was fucked no matter what, he gave it to her exactly as he’d promised. “It’s definitely you. Because if I let myself touch you even once, I’m not going to want to stop.”
Chapter 15
“If I let myself touch you, I’m not going to want to stop.”
So why the hell was she now huddled in the guest bed all alone as the clock ticked toward midnight?
Because when Dev was finished with his PT, he acted like that entire conversation never even happened. He was polite but distant—physically and emotionally. It was as if what he’d shared with her drove him further away instead of drawing them closer.
Which left her no closer to understanding, and when he went to bed an hour ago, she was hesitant to admit she was still apprehensive about being alone. She had wanted so badly to follow him to his room, even if she had to sleep on the floor again. Instead, she forced herself to turn into the guest room with the brand new bedroom set he’d ordered just for her.
Time to be a big girl.
Except, if she wasn’t thinking about Dev, her mind went straight to her stalker. With the light still on beside the bed, she eyed the bare window as she hugged her knees to her chest. Too bad there hadn’t been curtains or a shade to go with the comforter set that had arrived with the bedroom furniture.
The murky black square gaped at her, a frightening glass hole in the wall even with the new security system. After another glance at the time on her phone screen, she decided enough was enough. Swiping up her grandma’s afghan, she padded over to see if she could somehow cover the glass. Her heart pounded faster as she got closer, but it only took a moment to realize she’d never reach the top without a chair.
Tossing the afghan on the bed, she started toward the kitchen for one of Dev’s bar stools. She’d left the bedroom door ajar and it swung open with a low, extended squeak. Other than that, the house was dark and quiet, save for the ticking clock she’d never actually located. When she caught sight of the drawn shades in the living room, she paused. It only took a second to decide to retrieve the afghan and a pillow for the couch. Much easier—and quieter—than dragging one of those heavy stools into the bedroom.
She pulled the door closed behind her and latched it with the softest of clicks. Over at the couch, she tossed the pillow down before lifting her arms to shake out the afghan and lie down.
“What are you doing?”
Shelby let out a shriek at the sound of Dev’s voice behind her. Her heart jammed up into her throat as she whirled around to find him watching her. “You scared the crap out of me.”