They weren’t gone long enough, though. Just as I finally managed to get my thoughts off Emily, she came bouncing through the front door with the kids by her side. She grinned brightly as Tommy told me all about the park. Sarah insisted I go with them later.
I tried my best to focus on their words, but Emily’s smile was captivating. Her lips were the perfect shade of pink, and they curved just right. As I looked at her, I imagined those same lips wrapped around my hard cock.
Shaking my head, I forced myself to look at Tommy and Sarah. If anything could center me, it was my kids.
“That sounds like fun,” I said, smiling. “I’ll go with you guys tomorrow.”
“Really?” Sarah asked, bouncing up and down on her feet.
“Really,” I said.
Sarah and Tommy both cheered with delight before running upstairs. Emily insisted they wash up before lunch. Before they made it back downstairs, she was already in the kitchen, preparing their food. I was starving and thought about going into the kitchen to get something for myself, but the second I saw Emily bend over to get something out of the fridge, I froze. There was no way I could be that close to her without touching her. God, I wanted her so badly. What was wrong with me?
“I’ll be in my study,” I nearly barked.
I didn’t wait for her to respond, I simply hurried down the hall and disappeared inside. Once the door was firmly closed behind me, I sank into my desk chair and took deep, relaxing breaths. My entire body was alive with desire, and I didn’t know how to calm myself. Every time I looked at Emily, all I could think about was taking her on the nearest flat surface. She was sexy and sweet, amazing with my kids, constantly asking me if I needed anything else, and that body – why did it have to be so hot?
No, I thought firmly to myself. I needed to focus, or else I would never get anything done. With a groan, I pulled my notebook toward me and grabbed a pen. I didn’t have anything to write so I just jotted down random thoughts and hoped that would be enough to get my creative juices flowing.
I hadn’t yet told anyone, but since Telissa died I’d been thinking about becoming a writer. I couldn’t imagine myself in a courtroom anymore. I didn’t need the money that a law career afforded me. I’d invested well, and my kids and I could live very comfortably for as long as it took me to figure things out.
For an entire year, I tried to fall back into my old routine, but it never worked. It wasn’t until I bought a notebook and started writing, that things seemed to fall into place. Writing was what I wanted to do. I just wasn’t sure how to do it, or what to write about.
Today was especially hard. No matter how many times I tried to write something insightful or clever, thoughts of Emily invaded my psyche.
About an hour after I sat down, there was a soft knock on the door. I cleared my throat and sat back in my chair, shoving my notebook into my top drawer.
“Come in,” I said.
Emily pushed open the door and walked inside slowly. She smiled and set a sandwich down on the desk in front of me. It looked amazing, and my stomach grumbled the second I saw it.
“I thought you might be hungry,” she said. “You didn’t eat breakfast.”
“Thanks,” I said, my voice flat.
She nodded and quickly left the study again. I watched her leave, my eyes trained on her ass.
When the door fell closed behind her, I groaned and leaned back in my chair. I couldn’t even see her for two minutes without wanting to rip her fucking clothes from her body. Just watching her walk away from me was enough to make me imagine how she would feel from behind.
I longed to wrap my hands around her curvy hips and pound her mercilessly. Instead, all I could do was close my eyes and try to stay focused. Emily was my children’s nanny for fuck’s sake. That was what mattered. I couldn’t spend all day, every day, daydreaming about what it would be like to be inside her.
As the day dragged on, my thoughts never lost their persistence. When it was time for dinner, I knew something needed to change. The way I felt wasn’t right. Thinking about fucking Emily wasn’t right.
As I sat down at the dinner table, I told myself I would have to either get myself under control, or let Emily go. Things could not go on this way.
Tommy and Sarah talked my ear off all through dinner. They, more than anything, helped keep me distracted. I focused on them and my food, never once glancing in Emily’s direction. Even when she handed me the rolls, I took them without making eye contact. It was extreme, but it worked. I made it through the entire meal without once picturing her naked and moaning.
When she sent the kids up to get ready for bed, I silently praised myself for the progress I’d made. I did the dishes and smiled, thinking maybe this situation might work out after all. It wasn’t until Emily came to help me dry the dishes that I’d realized how wrong I’d been.
She walked over to where I was in the kitchen and took a dish from my hand. Her body was so close to mine that I could smell the fragrance of her skin. My throat tightened, and I felt heat erupt in my stomach. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t keep myself from feeling tense in her presence.
When she looked at me, I thought she felt it too. Her eyes shifted to my lips for a fraction of a second, and I cleared my throat, looking away quickly. The sexual tension between us was just too much.
“Listen,” I said, my voice low. “I don’t think this is going to work out.”
Emily’s expression changed in an instant. One second, she seemed shy, yet happy. The next, her eyes darkened, and her lips pulled together into a tight line.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Did I do something wrong?”